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Friday, July 10, 2009


Sadism is all right in its place, but it should be directed to proper ends.

--Sigmund Freud

Omega has often said he's a sadist, or a sexual sadist. He does have some empathy, but not a lot of tolerance. Yesterday when I whined about my hand hurting (I grabbed a pot handle that I had just taken out of the oven), after his initial concern he really didn't care. It wasn't serious. Yeah, he tended to it, had me soak it in body temperature water, he said cold water is bad for burns as is hot water. He applied an ointment and sent me back into the kitchen to finish cooking.

I found myself glad he did that.

When we play, Omega is intense, and likes me in pain. He enjoys inflicting moderate to heavy pain on different parts of my body, sometimes reaching deep inside me. He also likes to do things that I would find pleasing (that is the problem we're working on). He does not like what alpha did to me. Omega is quick to remind me that while it was sadistic, it was not based on principles of RACK (Omega likes RACK as opposed to SSC). He also reminded me that while where his comfort level is, is not everyone else's, he does adhere to the ideals of RACK. And yes I've been hurt during play, who hasn't?

That is the problem, the right balance of pain and pleasure. Yes, he can inflict pain without any problem, but the pleasure to me right now is just as painful as the violet wand. That is not what he wants.

Today, I took a little time and got reacquainted with my Hitachi magic wand. It went okay I guess. It's embarrassing to write about this. I didn't orgasm, but I didn't throw up either (okay, I stopped before it got that bad). But for around a half a minute, it felt good.


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