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Friday, July 31, 2009

Today's assignment

Omega just realized that he hasn't given me an assignment for a time.

Today's assignment

Omega would like to explore about how my feelings have changed since we started restoring my balance.

I've come a long way since I let him in. I've learned to trust him and to know that he doesn't want to hurt me. By 'hurt' I'm talking about mentally. I have to admit it's gotten easier, and I'm starting to respond physically to his touch. He notices I catch my breath at times and even shudder with pleasure. At first I could go a minute but I'm learning to go further. I still get easily overwhelmed with these sensations. Omega ties me up, brings me along slowly, letting it build, then pauses to let me catch up. He can now tell when I'm thoroughly overwhelmed, and how much further he can push before stopping.

I feel terrible because (yes I'm presuming) it must be so difficult for him to have to stop, and start. He doesn't want to use anything painful on me until I'm reconditioned to accept loving touch so I worry that his needs are overlooked. I want him to take me harshly, I want him to abuse my body, break it and batter it. Beat me. Fuck me until I'm bleeding. Take out every aggression he has to be feeling on me. Break me into full submission, take away my choices, not be kind about it either. I want him to not worry about me.


  1. "I want him to not worry about me. "

    You realize that just isn't even possible, right?

  2. mouse,

    I will reiterate here what I told you when I read what you wrote. Do you not think if it were that easy I would have done that? My mouse, you are only feeling this way because of the advances you are making. It is the continued progress you fear.

    You know how I feel about your presumptions in regard to my thoughts, however I do see I opened that door today. As of now, I have no such hard-pressed needs.

    My only need mouse is for you to be balanced and whole.

    Keyword: Unconditional


  3. i could be stepping out of bounds but if He did not worry...would He still care?

  4. listen to Gray (& Omega of course)

    missed you!!


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