Balancing acts

The achievement of balance in a M/s relationship is often difficult because it, on the surface, appears to be the least balanced thing in the world, with the Master always coming out on top. However that is just not the case, at least in my relationship with Omega. Yes, he's HOH (even though I own the house), but he also delegates his authority to me. Household chores are divided up in a way which makes sense to our relationship. I work from around 7-12, for the first couple hours I work, then I tend to my management duties, hold meetings, check in make sure everyone is on task, etc.

After work, I run errands, and other tasks before going home (though work does come first). At home I do what needs to be done there before Omega gets home from work. He usually will text me with a time, because he likes his food hot, however if it needs to be kept warmed he doesn't complain too harshly. He always helps with the dishes and picks up after himself. He is naturally (or unnaturally) neat, so when he uses something he puts it back where he found it, or where it is supposed to go. I don't spend a lot of time cleaning up after him, except in the bathroom. Again decisions are his, like the type of food I cook, he likes healthy balanced meals, so that's what I cook (never really touched the stove for anything more complex than scrambling an egg or baking cookies). Often I am hard pressed for meal ideas, but I'm learning to take pride in my limited skills which seems to help some.

As Master a lot of things fall on him, like planing our play or scenes. He takes into consideration what is going on, what I'm doing, work issues, placement of bruises. He thinks about all that (and believe me he's had long time to think and plan). He also takes into consideration mental health, like subdrop from an intense scene. He wouldn't plan an elaborate scene on a Sunday unless I was home from work on Monday and Tuesday. He wants two days for recovery, during that time if I feel up to it I can read blogs but I'm not allowed to comment (I usually can't because I have difficulty keeping my focus after really hard play). He also prefers we have no other commitments though that isn't always possible.

Omega also decides which blogs I can read. This is for my own protection, because in many ways I'm still just learning about this lifestyle. So much of what Alpha told me was just plan wrong, twisted or backward.

Saturday night we played very hard, it was extremely intense, painful and erotic. I was reduced to a bundle of raw, exposed nerves within just a few minutes but our play lasted hours so you can imagine how I felt afterward. I couldn't move. Omega had to carry me up the stairs. No bath, nothing, he just put me to bed. He didn't sleep, he never does afterward. In the morning he checked my bruises and welts, the ones that from before are slowly fading but otherwise are fine. There is a bruise on my back that was causing him a little worry but he's watching me and it carefully.

Sunday all day he was close by me, but didn't hover, or appear overly so. We had no troubles or issues, except when he wanted me to take a walk and I didn't want to. I argued with him and was punished mildly for that (I don't think I could blame it on subdrop). He often ponders the best way to punish a known masochist or he'll comment out loud like I'm not in the room. I begged his forgiveness because I knew he was upset with me, but he continued his musing. Some of it scared me. He asked me if I had any work to do, and I told him truthfully no. He then decided I was not allowed to use the computer for that day or night. I was made to sit on the floor beside his feet all night while he surfed the web.

At first I was annoyed but after a while I realized I wrong and he was just correcting the behavior. Sometimes I just need help in being still, and letting my mind just let go of those kinds of thoughts.