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Thursday, August 6, 2009

Fear

I went from being with Alpha for about a decade of my life, then alone for nearly another decade, to being married. Marriage is weird but nice at the same time. I look at Omega and can't believe I have him in my life. I feel lucky (and I am not a lucky person, I never win when I play the lottery).

I am sorry that I didn't trust him early on, but fear lies to you. My fear told me that if he knew the truth he would leave. It would be too hard because he knew alpha and considered him a close friend. Maybe he wouldn't even believe it, especially since alpha passed away many years ago now. Fear lied to me. It told me those things and made me feel insecure about my position.

I wonder what else it lies about.

I'm changing my view on this "work" Omega and I do each night, sometimes more than once. It's getting to be fun. It's not for the most part painful anymore, but really pleasurable. I still haven't had a orgasm, but I'm getting closer. I still have issues with self pleasure, and oral sex (I don't have issues doing it only receiving it). I am not friends with my body enough to masturbate. I know Omega's answer to make friends. bleh. Oral sex...I don't want to talk about it.

Omega says the real mouse is starting to emerge.

**********PSA************
Public Service Announcement

Do not attempt masturbation of any kind after filling a bottle of Tapatio hot sauce.
Jus say'n

10 comments:

  1. reminds of a funny story from very early on in h and I's relationship and a bottle of Tabasco sauce, well actually not the at funny... all I can say is ouch.

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  2. regarding your PSA: You didn't, did you? Internally or external?

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  3. try yogurt. non-flavored is best.

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  4. I think we've all been there J. It reminds me of a few stories too.

    I am leaving for home soon mouse.

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  5. well, it's all relative ... I mean there are submissives and then there are submissive MASOCHISTS LOL

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  6. Did you?

    Yes I made a similar mistake but it was supposed to be a "skin tight" stuff thats great for prevention of razor bumps after you shave. i've used the cream but this was like an tonic or something acidic (same product brand).... i accidentally poured way too much. OMG my clit burned for like an hour! The other surrounding parts didnt hurt at all. No idea, but warning... Haha!

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  7. kitten,
    yes i did, but it's better now.
    mouse

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  8. oh and kitten I did it once with perfume...OMG the sting....but i think I smelled nice.

    lmao

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  9. ROFLMAO i've done the perfume one too but will remember the hot sauce..i will embed it into my brain..lol.

    And yes fear lies...it always lies. At least that's my opinion.

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  10. Well Damn, girl! I wish I had read this post when it was written, might have saved myself a boatlaod of sqirming and discomfort.('cept mine cholula sauce).

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