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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Frustration

I sat at the computer for an hour before throwing my reading glasses down in total frustration. I sighed loudly and hit the table with my fist. Omega who was reading looked up and asked me what the matter was. I explained the problem and he said nothing because there was nothing he could do. It was me. I tried again. I failed and sighed this time with resignation. I was beaten and was nearly ready to give up. Still I tried again and with the same result. Again, I threw my reading glass down in disgust. This time however, Omega got a little stern with me, simply saying, "mouse."

Immediately I lowered my eyes. Picked up my reading glasses and attempted again. Maybe I was too frustrated, growing angry and just getting annoyed with this thing. I also couldn't let it go. I hit the computer table again, though I tried to stop myself and let out a heavy sigh. Omega then said, "Get up NOW and take a walk."

I started to protest but I didn't. He was right, I needed a break. I wasn't going to accomplish anything with my mood the way it was. I went for a short walk and returned. I started for the computer again, but Omega stopped me and told me to go upstairs and put on my cotton nightgown. I protested like a child over that because it wasn't near my bedtime. He didn't raise his voice but just calmly repeated the command. I went upstairs and did as I was told. Put on my nightgown and returned downstairs. He looked at me for a minute before telling me to lift the bottom and kneel at his feet.

I was beyond annoyed by this because I just wanted to finish my work so I could relax. But I did as I was told and knelt at his feet. He talked to me and I listened.

Then he told me if I could remain calm I could return to work at the computer. I smiled and thanked him (thanking Master is always important) and returned to the computer. I don't know if it was just being forced to take a break or what but the work just fell into place. I found the files I needed (I knew I had loaded them) and completed everything in 10 minutes. I logged off and knelt again at Omega's feet.

I was relieved to have finished working. He told me to sit beside him on the sofa, and I did. He asked me not talk about anything and not to move. I quickly became a shivering mess. Then he stopped almost abruptly and walked upstairs. Naturally I followed. It was late but he didn't seem to mind it. Soon I was quivering and begging for more. I was starting know what it felt like to be balanced.

After I rested with my head on his chest, and the sound of his heart beating lulling me to sleep.

3 comments:

  1. glad you got the go-upstairs-when-he-goes-upstairs thing mastered. That only took, what, a week?

    ;-})

    actually, this is one of my explicit rules with my wife too. When she goes up for the night, I follow without further prompting unless told otherwise.

    I can relate to just wanting to finish my work to get to be able to rest and also obeying regardless. Also, how after you did it all worked out for the best. This is one of the things about being a sub that I have really come to appreciate. I can ignore how I feel, obey, and it all works out better then it would had if I was trying to manage it.

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  2. I've had my moments like that too. No matter what you do, it isn't right. Omega was completely right, a change of scenery and pace definitely helps you look at things.

    And it ended well. :)

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  3. nothing more frustrating than feeling it there, just behind your eyes, under your tongue and not being able to express it. Wise Master that knows that sometimes, we have to walk away to clear our heads!

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