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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

#97

As my good friend J often points out to me, being in love with your slave does change the dynamic and leaves me at times uncertain of a clear path to take.  Especially with mouse.  It pains me to see her chase her demon, it hurts to see her fighting within herself.  To watch as she desperately tries to reconcile within herself what she does not often thoroughly understand, and yet to me seems abundantly clear.

Keyword: questionable

4 comments:

  1. I know that guy...what does he know???

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  2. you're right .. it DOES change the dynamic, for the BETTER, more intense, more fulfilling, more everything good. It is hard to standby and watch your loved one (and in your case, also the one you are honour bound to care for) fight their demons. But she must fight her own demons- and knowing you are there behind her can only be an immense support.

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  3. I agree with selkie... she has to fight her own demons, but I know from experience that knowing your Master is there to support you through it all makes it so much easier to deal with. I know my Master often feels the same... sometimes I can see in his eyes the desire to just go into my past and stop everything bad that had happened to me and make it right again.

    Mouse is strong, though... and with you behind her there is no way she can't get through this.

    *hugs to you both*

    ~spirited

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  4. From my own experience, knowing you are a *positive*, trusting that security, helps and strengthens her as she goes through the *negative*.

    You aren't just supporting, encouraging, and holding her up, you are simply there.

    An analogy might be an anchor during a hurricane. Although she has learned to trust the strength and stability of the anchor (you of course), she still must experience the storm.

    This, in my opinion, can only happen if the love exists within the relationship. A Master who does not love as you love mouse, has nothing really invested and no reason to try to ... see her through her inner struggles.

    As i mentioned to Padrone, I understand how difficult it is for him to feel helpless in the face of things only I can do. It goes against his desire to protect me, but it reinforces his desire to see me grow and blossom as the person I am becoming.

    Or that's how I see it anyway.

    *shutting up now*

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