Upon us all a little rain must fall

Don't worry this post isn't a dark missive into my past.  It's a post about weather, specifically rain, but it's also about balance.  One thing I know a lot about, while the other I've learned a lot about recently.  I live where the rain falls almost year around.  I say almost because summertime I do have a sprinkler system that takes over.  Rain is one of those things we need.  Not enough rain and you're saving your dishwater in a bucket to flush the toilets like my family had to do in San Francisco in the 70s during the big drought then.  We couldn't water lawns, gardens, anything, while our southern California neighbors were wasting water by rinsing off their driveways with garden hose.  But I digress.  With not enough rain and the ground becomes parched, crops won't grow and wither, forests turn into matchsticks waiting to combust.  Too much rain caused houses to slide down hills, and off cliffs.  People lost their lives during a mudslide in a nearby community.  Farm lands were flooded, rivers overflowed their banks into homes and people looked for higher ground and waited for the waters to recede so they could survey the damage.  


There needs to be balance between too much and too little.  In everything, not just rain.  When Omega had his sexual intimacy issues, he is first to admit that he was unbalanced and his life unmanageable that way.  Everything he did was about getting laid.  His work, family, everything was second place to that need.  I was unbalanced when I was with Alpha, and for those years after that.  I was unbalanced when I offered myself to Omega but improving.  During the time since we have been together, I've come more in balance with my life than I ever thought.  


There is a balance in my slavery to Omega that has only added to my life.  He doesn't micromanage me, or make me ask permission for every little thing--he trusts my judgment to make choices within the confines of his rules.  His rules are simple, easy for the most part to follow, and his.  I follow Omega's rules but that doesn't mean I don't make mistakes or forget myself sometimes.  If I break a rule I'm punished for it.  That I also expect.  However to keep me in balance, he never punishes me without me knowing exactly why I'm being punished before hand.  Sometimes depending on what it is, he will give me a chance to self correct the mistake.  Often the reason is very self-evident.  It would be easy for him to just not come home from work some evening to teach me a lesson, but I also know he wouldn't do that.  I trust him and the promises we have made to each other.  

One of those promises is that we won't play mind games. PERIOD!  He would NEVER tell me I'm not his slave anymore (i.e., remove his collar) unless he truly meant it--and it would be forever.  He wouldn't dare use it as position to put me in my place, make me prove my submission, which is either evident or not since we do live together, or let his ego get in the way.  And I trust Omega to be a man of his word, a man of integrity and honor.  On the other hand, I have made a similar promise in which I vow to never tell him to leave unless I truly mean for him to go. 

He also makes his ownership fun for me.  When I complete something at work or home, he makes me do something to myself for him.  It only takes a second and then I'm off to the next thing.  It gives me pause.  Even though most days he's a floor above me, he'll send me cryptic text messages only we understand.  It makes it fun.  When I get upset over something he does very specific things to get me talking and bring me into balance.  What is really big is now I'm seeing more and more the need to "be still" without Omega telling me to.  If we pass each other in the hall we send signals.  An arch of an eyebrow, a head nod, a soft smile or even an angry scowl all send a clear signal.  


I sit quietly for a few minutes and ponder whatever is rattling me at that moment.  It helps keep my balance.


Omega said to me that I would have gotten to this point on my own, but I am so quick to add that I also wouldn't have gotten here nearly as fast.