I miss O blogging. I miss his keywords. He feels he doesn't really need to, because he's contented. Yet, he insists that I continue blogging. Why? Am I not allowed to simply be content?
Okay, that might be reaching. I'm the bonsai tree, being turned, clipped and shaped. Omega makes sure I receive ample water, sunlight, and when he needs to he's not afraid to lop off a branch. If it helps the bonsai grow it's needed. Recently I've been going through a metamorphosis of sorts. A lot of change, and until I really got to know A, I always felt I balked against change. Now I realize, living with an autistic child, I'm very malleable. I can really go with the flow. Ya me!
I've often wrote that doing the right thing is never easy to do. Quitting my job, or the part of my job I liked in lieu of something that's really kinda dull but can be done from home. I haven't still gotten my sea legs in that. The balance often eludes me. I need full concentration to work, but with A around that is difficult. I get up earlier, and go to bed later, since O's busy watching the Olympics each night, it's kinda easy.
But this morning I was asked to go into the basement and wait for O. He came down showered, wearing his gray power suit, and told me to bend over onto the spanking bench. I assumed the position while he went to town on my ass. I was crying. Then he wasn't exactly done, he had me wear the small plug all day. Later, when he got home from work, he whipped and used my body.
I felt floaty all day, at first I balked against the plug, but as the day wore on, it reminded me of who I was and what. It felt good. Not sure how I kept my focus but I did. Not only that my thinking, it was clearer than its been in a long time. Omega does that to me. He finds my balance.
Over the weekend O had me clean the house, do all the wash and cook him a marvelous meal. I guess he was tired of everything being upside down. Now it's all back in order, and it will stay that way.
Thank you O for all you've given me.
Balance - that's a precious commodity for me these days - internally, around me - it get's exhausting which leads to greater imbalance. It is fascinating to me that O can do this for you, help re-balance.
ReplyDeleteBalance is a wonderful feeling. I miss Omega's writing as well but in a way he's still writing, just through you. :)
ReplyDeleteI love your metaphor of the bonsai tree. Very incisive.
ReplyDeletemouse,
ReplyDeleteIsn't it amazing how quickly a plug can calm the body and mind. I have been adorning my n-joy stainless steel (medium size) plug everyday for over a year now. It is very heavy but never comes out, never slips out even when I do my weight training or my swimming or gardening. Nothing. Sometimes I can wear it for 8 hours, other times only 2 because it is so heavy and my body just aches, too much weight.
How frustrating though to know that Master knows how soothing it is. It keeps him enforcing the "everyday" rule. *giggling*
~cockdoll