TTWD: Total Power Exchange

Ok..I've been thinking about this quite a bit.  I think from it being called a total power exchange, it kinda explains what that means so this isn't about that.  Omega likes to describe the power exchange as a circle, never ending but needing both parties to really work.  They make the circle.  It can be between two, three or even more people depending on the dynamic.  It's all good, but it all kinda hinges on doing what your supposed to do.  If your Dominant demands that you do something, you have to do it.  If you don't, aside from risking punishment, the ramifications over time will cause the overall relationship start to break down.  No one can lead if someone won't follow.  The opposite is true, if the Dominant is overwhelmed or feeling maybe not so Domly the submissive in the exchange starts to feel well...less submissive.  In a 24-7 relationship this can leads to fights or at the very least bickering between the two (or more).  There is a clear cause and effect that occurs.  


I think the power exchange is...well...a powerful component in a relationship.  It drives it. The need to control and the need to submit must even out other wise the circle becomes misshaped.   Too much pushing from either and it will break down, dissolving.  I think the one thing Omega is careful to provide is constancy.  What is wrong today will be wrong tomorrow.  What needs to be done today will be done tomorrow or the next time or the next time it needs to be done.  He doesn't allow me to blow many things off just because I'm not in the mood.  Balance is so important, like a tire that's out of alignment or balance begins to wear funny.  I think relationships do too.  If our relationship becomes out of alignment we have to work hard to get it back into a balanced state.  WE both have to.  It can't just be me or him.  It has to be both of us.  Sometimes if I don't know how to approach a subject it can start with blog post either in a public or private way.  Other times it can start with conversation.  Sometimes he'll be the one to seize control over something, like my forgetfulness in thanking him for little things.  He will expect me to be still and reflect on why I do something or not do it.  While it's tedious for me being still works.  It brings the needed change and realigns my focus.  It's not something he does lightly or on a whim.  He takes it under consideration.  Omega decides if its the right course and plots it.  


I think the main element in a total power exchange is trust.  I think that trust are the hinges that hold the door in place, and allow it to be opened or closed at will.  Without them, the door would just fall.  Without trust the relationship falls.  One of the biggest lessons I've had to learn is that while trusting Omega is one thing, trusting myself is another issue entirely.  Saying I trust Omega is easy.  But do I trust myself?  I had to learn that in order to thoroughly trust him, I had to trust myself.  I had to learn to turn off my need to edit myself.  Of course I need to be respectful to Omega, and can't just fly off with venom.  I needed to learn to pause, or be still, compose what I really wanted to say and say it without fear.  OMG that wasn't so easy for me to do.  First I worried that I would seem too needy.  I worried that he wouldn't understand or dismiss my fears as being irrational (which sometimes they are).  But most of all I worried that it would cause problems.  That I would rock the boat or something by saying what I thought.  By saying the words, "I think you're wrong and here's why..." I really believed that I was being a bad sub or slave or whatever term you want to use.  Because good ones (name your own term) don't question right?  What I had to understand that even if Omega decides a different action it doesn't make my point less valid.  It just made it different.  Also he couldn't know I felt differently about an issue unless I told him I did.  No, instead I'd do the girl thing and pout and he'd do the guy thing and wonder what the hell my problem was.  The interesting thing is most of the time when he decides (right or wrong) his course is the right way, I'm fine with it as long as I took the time to make my case.  Like the supreme court handing down a verdict, you don't have to like it but you have to accept it.