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Thursday, March 22, 2012

Say nighty-night and kiss me...

Greetings from mouse,

Confession time, when mouse fell earlier this week, she hit her head. Whacked it hard enough that it seemed to have shaken some really deep thoughts loose.  Please don't be angry Sir, just didn't want you to worry and we both know mouse does have an exceedingly thick skull!  

Back to those thoughts and the reflections of mouse....

The other night mouse was cooking some pasta for dinner, almost absentmindedly, mouse went about the business of cutting vegetables, when a thought occured to her how easily she feels her submission sometimes.  Quietly, mouse pondered those feelings.  Lost in thought, she rather suddenly felt Omega's arms encircling her waist and nuzzling her ear...his warm breath, whispering quietly and reverently asking, "Where are you?"

Feeling mouse lurch forward toward the stove and jump nearly out of her skin, he pulled her closer, calming her, whispering for her to "be still." In that moment mouse felt brittle, as though if he touched her too strongly surely mouse would shatter into a million peices.  He turned her to face him, grazing her cheek with his hand and just brushed her lips with his.

Later in the study, mouse on the sofa with her knee iced and elevated, Omega behind his desk, working mouse stared at him.  He glanced up and stared back at the trance-like state.  He smiled slightly and returned to work...ignoring it.  Yet, mouse couldn't help herself and continued.  What was she trying to work out?

What makes mouse submit to him and why is it, when she feels so very unsubmissive-like, when the day has gone wrong...why is it that he can draw her back with tilt of his head and his Spock eyebrow arch?

How is it that at times, her submission burns so hotly that she can't contain herself?  Those are the times she needs him.  To possess and stake his claim.  So clearly are those times that her body screams, "Use me!"  Yet, her voice remains mute.  The need goes unexpressed, the desire still smoldering and waits...

While her mind clicks back and forth, pondering those times when mouse cannot fathom submission.  Often he will reach out, picking that moment to touch her and she wants nothing more than recoil in shock.  Then it happens, he'll arch that eyebrow thoughtfully and mouse simply melts.   There are a few moments where mouse does recoil, shocked or angry, but she doesn't want to think of those moments...Instead her mind again turns...

As mouse continued staring at him, she finally wondered, does he feel that way?  Are there times when his Dominance is simply bursting?  Or is it always there, smoldering and waiting for the slightest whisper of a breeze to reignite the flame?  He looks up at her again, regards her thoughtfully for a moment before returning to his work.  At some point, she realizes that she's not really looking at him, but rather looking through him almost meditatively.

"Where are you?"

His soft voice startles mouse causing her to blink...

The words fail, fleeing into the recesses of her mind and she's rendered speechless.

Purposefully, he rises from his chair and walks to the sofa, crouching beside her and asked patiently, "What is my girl chewing on so intensely?"

Shaking her head slightly and half shrugging all those thoughts have left her and all she sees is him.  All she can think about, at that moment is him.

Song selection: Dream a Little Dream of Me;  Music by, Fabian Andre and Wilbur Schwandt; words by Gus Kahn.  


  1. I fully understand the arched Spock eyebrow. Yup. My Master has one of those (do they buy them at some Dom-shop?). Master also has the "look over the glasses" when he's working, which has much the same effect.
    Melting. Yup. Check. That, too.

    A very nice post, mouse. It made me smile with my own memories. Thank you.


    1. The eyebrow arch really gets

  2. mouse,

    Angry? Of course! I asked specifically if you hit your head, you looked me in the eye and lied. I understand today, you mentioned errands to run. I sincerely hope (pray) you follow my directive and stay home, as the roads are quite unfavorable for travel.

    Your attempts to top from the bottom are not welcomed. Your refusal to admit a head injury, only to adress it later with the compounded audacity to appeal that I not be cross by the disclosure is beyond preposterous.


    1. Sir,

      You're right of course, mouse should have told you the whole truth when it happened.

      Sorry Sir

      Love you Sir!!

  3. Mouse,

    I am again perplexed by your choice of words, are you implying that you omitted facts, rather than outright lying when you gazed into my eyes?

    My concern is wholly born of love and the desire to keep you safe. Too oft you are negligent of the consequence of your actions. Regrettably, my words have failed to manifest the deeper issue; the trust we share is rendered impotent by omission or false truths. Mouse, please do not attempt further insult by mitigating the circumstance.

    We will continue this discussion tonight. I plan on stopping at the new house to check up on the progress.


  4. This was lovely mouse.

    (and -- um -- gulp)


  5. I am all tangled up, mouse. I cannot follow the meanderings of your ponderings, and I imagine that is as much about me as it is about you. For me, I think I've had my point of view on my own submission challenged and upended. With that, I do not honestly know how to think about the whole question. And He, for now, is not able to define what is.

    I keep looking to see others who are feeling as uncertain as I do. I'm not sure why. Maybe it would be less lonely, but really -- if the whole blog universe were sad and scared, I'd feel no less alone.

    I wish you and Omega all the best,

    1. swan,

      Really, mouse feels we've all had times where we've been upended...or it has felt that way. Time, patience allows us to focus and see what we need...was really there all along. It just wasn't the same or familiar...

      And mouse wishes you nothing but the best've been through so much Sue, but your poise and strength comes shining through.

      Much love,

  6. I have been pondering on this wandering whether to comment or not, a while back i slipped and hurt my wrist it ached and was sore but i didnt say anything to him because well i didnt want him worrying and getting all fussy. I also knew he had a scene planned that evening and was looking forward to that so i didnt want to ruin it for him.

    He planned suspension and as soon as my wrists were pulled up i was screaming and not in the way he intended, he got me down and long story short i had sprained my wrist and quite badly...its the first time i have seen him so angry and he had every right to be.

    I didnt think it was a big deal at the time and sometimes i just dont think full stop, hindsight is such a wanderful thing.

    best wishes and hugs
    tori x


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