Greetings from mouse,
Today's thoughts are more of a reflection on our conversation last night. It was actually a rather deep discussion as we read blogs and discussed the comments left on yesterday's thoughts. )
We've been working hard on ourselves and our relationship and it's really been paying off. Things are so much better between us now. It's easier somehow. When he got home that morning now nearly two weeks ago, we settled on some changes we needed to make. Things we could live without and things we just needed to change.
We decided to return to rituals so that mouse can reaffirm her slavery...now we made them very simple, because honestly our days are much, much more complex than before and mouse can't do complicated. One thing we did add was 5 things mouse could each day for Omega. These aren't things he asks mouse to do...just little things that mouse can do for him alone each day. Some are kinda boring...like arranging his shaving stuff or heating a towel in the dryer. It doesn't take a lot of time. Still it works! Better than mouse could imagine...yes some times she does stretch it a little. Recently, she got Dafodils because, having a happy table pleases him. Ok mouse already said it was a stretch. Yet, who knew they smelled so strong!? They were quickly moved into the laundry room once they opened.
Long story short is that it's helped mouse find her balance. He's happier, kids are happier...and we can all breathe...
Song selection: Evergreen; Barbara Streisand
Today's thoughts are more of a reflection on our conversation last night. It was actually a rather deep discussion as we read blogs and discussed the comments left on yesterday's thoughts. )
We've been working hard on ourselves and our relationship and it's really been paying off. Things are so much better between us now. It's easier somehow. When he got home that morning now nearly two weeks ago, we settled on some changes we needed to make. Things we could live without and things we just needed to change.
We decided to return to rituals so that mouse can reaffirm her slavery...now we made them very simple, because honestly our days are much, much more complex than before and mouse can't do complicated. One thing we did add was 5 things mouse could each day for Omega. These aren't things he asks mouse to do...just little things that mouse can do for him alone each day. Some are kinda boring...like arranging his shaving stuff or heating a towel in the dryer. It doesn't take a lot of time. Still it works! Better than mouse could imagine...yes some times she does stretch it a little. Recently, she got Dafodils because, having a happy table pleases him. Ok mouse already said it was a stretch. Yet, who knew they smelled so strong!? They were quickly moved into the laundry room once they opened.
Long story short is that it's helped mouse find her balance. He's happier, kids are happier...and we can all breathe...
Song selection: Evergreen; Barbara Streisand
15 comments:
Change is tough but sometimes necessary to move forward. Just keep talking to each other.
hugs,
heather1
Padrone calls these acts "spontaneous acts of submission". He loves them enough that I have few rules, so that a large portion of my submission is simply that - things I do that I know he loves or even likes, simply to please him. I love his reaction, and I can easily understand how that helps you find your balance. It is submission in its purest form, kind of like pain but requiring active submission rather than passive. (yes, I know it takes a lot to accept pain, but not so much brain power as determination). I love doing small things to please him throughout the day - I can feel extremely submissive all day when I do that!
I am so glad you are finding your way through the mire of changes that seem to be happening to y'all. Something to keep in mind....if you are still nursing, or even if not, as a postpartum woman....you should consider the impact that elevated levels of hormones might have on your emotions. :)
Hi Mouse & Omega,
I have been away on business and just caught reading all your posts. I could not wait to get to them actually. I am glad to hear things are going to well. I like the ides of doing five little things. Working on a relationship can be hard, sounds like you are doing well. Off to blog.
Omega & mouse,
SO often I find your blog inspiring. On many days I am teetering with my submission and then I am here and find your blog reassuring. Thank you so much for sharing.
Rituals are something that I crave. I am a creature of habit and come from a military family. I was in a sense raised on ritual. Aeon and I are finding it difficult to establish rituals. It has become a thorn in our paw.
Once again I am thankful that the 2 of you share so much and find your blog inspiring and insightful.
~AA~
I've actually been toying with the idea of trying your 'five things a day.' As of yet I haven't actively tried it (kind of afraid he wouldn't notice or would think I've gone crazier) but it seems like an awesome idea/set of acts to work into a day. I'm glad to hear that it seems to be helping to center you some :)
OMG -- I love that idea.
although being LD it would be hard for us -- perhaps I can try to surprise him once a day
hmmmm
sfp
Oh, nothing compares to a warmed towel when emerging form a shower or bath . . . Serafina does this for me from time to time, as well as many many other little gestures like you describe.
Did I mention how lucky I am?
Oh dear Heather, you're so right!
Hugs,
mouse
Schiava,
The reaction is wonderful. Sometimes it's just the silly little things, like leaving him a note in his briefcase to find whenever. While mouse was struggling a lot with the changes, this coupled with the rituals has worked wonders for mouse. It's really been a blessing that came from a lot of anguish.
Hugs,
mouse
Well welcome home!! Thanks so much...
Hugs,
mouse
AA,
Thank you for the wonderful compliment! Establishing rituals is wonderful, but really it's just about taking a moment to reflect. They can also be something that you do together, like spending a few minutes to discuss something important to you both. We will discuss the menu for the week, and he'll also pick out what mouse wears during the week.
The 5 things can be a way to actively demonstrate your submission. Finding time for the rituals is hard at times, but mouse always feels better when she does them.
Hugs,
mouse
Oh girl!!!
You should totally try it! Him noticing isn't really the point, the point is that you're thinking about him. Honestly, Omega has missed a few of them. One day, she left a note in his briefcase, but it took him three days to notice it. It could just be a text message saying that your thinking of him.
It's really been helpful and something mouse highly recommends.
Hugs,
mouse
sfp,
Go for it!!! Bet he'd love it!
Hugs,
mouse
Sir,
It's a nice thing and the warm towel is so luxurious! Honestly, mouse didn't anticipate how much this would mean to her!
Hugs,
mouse
Lack of noticing isn't my main fear, it's that I'll be upset if he doesn't (stupid, I know). Once I get all my messes caught up, I'll probably go for it. If nothing else, that should give me enough time to convince myself that there wouldn't be reason to be upset if it isn't mentioned/noticed.
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