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Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Lies that Life is Black and White...


We had started down this slippery slope it seemed of being friends and honestly mouse was happy with things the way they were.  He was fun to hang out with.   We'd meet up sometimes for dinner, sometimes for lunch because we both worked close by each other.  It was only a matter of time before the place she was working at would be enveloped by her former place of employment.  That unsettled her but it was at least a couple years away.  Why borrow trouble?  

Omega was so much more settled in his life, he had found a nice condo nearby. He was making the single dad thing look easy.   Talking about making lunches...stuff like that.

Gotta say mouse was kinda proud of him stepping up like that and rocking the dad thing...he wasn't so good at it before.  

Things very much remained the same.  He hadn't even tried to kiss mouse...secretly, it was kinda unsettling to an odd way she was beginning to feel she wasn't worthy of more...He was bringing her slowly into his life, she'd met his parents...Even came to Passover and later Chanukah.  Yet, we weren't a couple...

Sometime later mouse got this horrible cold.  It just lingered.  In fact mouse called him to cancel our "date" just exhausted.  He was already concerned because mouse had missed a whole week of work because she sick--he was calling daily mouse's admin person told.  He wondered if she was playing hooky because she's never sick and would go to work anyway if she were.   When he called her, she could hear the concern in his voice but she explained she'd gone to the doctor and just had a bad cold.  Really that was what the doctor said.  He said he'd drop by the next day and we hung up.  

The next day, true to his word he dropped by with chicken soup.  It took mouse a long time to open the door for him.  He took one look at mouse, noting her breathing and picked her up, carried her to his car and put her inside.  Then he ran back in and found her purse, medical card and keys.  Not sure what else he did or took.  

We made record time to the hospital, he gathered mouse up into his arms again and carried her to the ER.  Normally mouse would have been protesting but honestly she couldn't breath very well at all.  

Nurse went through the motions slapping a pulse O2 meter on her finger and taking her blood pressure.  Then she called for oxygen, put a mask over mouse's nose and mouth and said to breathe...Omega looked at the reading and paled...mouse's oxygen level was so low,  it was a wonder she was conscious.  Nurse cranked the oxygen and admitted mouse at once to the ER...a large male nurses aid appeared from nowhere and  helped mouse into a wheel chair whisking her away.  Leaving Omega in the waiting wait -- fill out insurance.   Honestly not sure why...mouse was terrified tho.  And actually wanted him.   

ER doctor showed up...ordered a chest xray.  Said it was likely pneumonia, but mouse would surely need to be hospitalized.  Before mouse could argue the matter, Omega stepped in and said fine -- where did he come from mouse vaguely recalled thinking.  He stayed with mouse all day and all night, tho honestly mouse barely remembers the first day and a half.  He made sure the nurses did their job.  He spoke to them each time they came into the room.  Again mouse barely remembers any of it.  He did leave a couple times to feed and let the dog out.  He brought mouse soup.  It took three days for the fever to break.  By that time mouse was feeling much better and but oddly even more exhausted tho than before.  Every three hours they'd wake her up...

When the doctor released mouse from the hospital, Omega disagreed but he acquiesced and brought mouse home.  Still, even though she was home, he still refused to leave.  He worried that she was still coughing waaaay too much, which disrupted her sleep.  He called his brother, a doctor, who suggested that she go back to the ER at once.  

Honestly, mouse was crying this time...Omega was terse.  He talked about incompetence.  We saw a different doctor, who ordered another chest xray.  He said mouse's lungs were much improved.  Omega explained that mouse wasn't sleeping from coughing so much -- that simply was not a good thing.  The ER doctor agreed completely and prescribed of all things vicodin, a longer term of prednisone, lots of albuterol and also extended the antibiotic for another full 14 Days.  He said she could use the inhaler as much and as often as needed, she really can't overdose on it.  The vicodin would quiet the cough and let her rest -- which the ER doctor agreed most heartily that was what mouse needed...lots of sleep and rest.  He said she could return to work in about 14 days or so but to followup with her own doctor in a week.  Omega grumbled saying all those things should have been prescribed before she left the hospital, instead they just gave her oral antibiotic and prednisone.    

Omega left mouse to get the meds and mouse apologized for her friend's behavior to the doctor.  The doctor smiled, looked at mouse and said it was obvious to him, the man truly cared a great deal for mouse;  she was lucky to have such a person advocate very clearly for her.   Then he added almost as just an observation, "a man wracked with that much concern and worry must love you a great deal."

That made mouse cough out a laugh...he didn't know the controlling Dominant mouse knew...Love wasn't it...

Or was it?  

At last he brought her home, tucked her into bed, and administered her medications.  He took the dog for a walk while mouse for first time in a long while slept....and slept...and slept....

He woke her when it was time to take her antibiotic, use the inhaler and prednisone but mostly watched mouse sleep.  

Saturday she doesn't recall at all.  

Sunday, she woke really early...very hung-over feeling and saw him sitting in a chair by her bed...

He looked terrible.  He hadn't shaved in so many days...his hair was a mess...But he was asleep.  

And he was still there.  

For 7 days he'd neglected everything and probably everyone...he hadn't even gone to work.  

Omega wouldn't leave mouse until he saw her eat.  He wanted to sure she was really on the mend.  He called her regularly when it was tine for her to take her meds to remind her. 

Maybe something changed for both of us...still not sure...

Maybe we were just moving closer...

To be continued...

Song selection: My Back Pages; Bob Dylan


  1. This was a beautiful part of the story and something I very much needed to read right now. Sometimes being new to this dynamic is want the control, you hate the control and back and forth we go. When you get the opportunity to read something like this it helps one realize that the benefits far outweigh the cons as I truly believe this type of concern is hard to come by in a vanilla relationship.

    Now, can you save this comment and paste it on my blog next time I am complaining?

    Thank you so much for sharing.

  2. I was hospitalised with pnemonia 2 years ago and its scary, usually im a fighter when it comes to feeling unwell....i soldier on but that knocked me out for days and took a good month or more to recover from.

    Im chuckling because reading this reminded me of what my Master was be frank he was a pain in the ass (still is when im feeling unwell)although yes its nice that they care but as i improved the more irratating i found his fussing, i dont like being fussed lol

    Looking forward to the next part.

    best wishes
    tori x

  3. Oh, this is incredibly romantic.

  4. Lovely story, lovely man to care for you so much! Lucky mouse. Casn't wait for the next installment...
    Thanks for sharing

  5. I know you end up together, but it reads like a cliffhanger . . . I can't wait for the next installment . . .


  6. *warm smiles at mouse and Omega* Such devotion shows his actions, rather then words. One can say many things... but it is in the actual doing of things where the proof of it lies. This is a good part of your history to remember and hold close I'd say. Its much like my current tooth infections and Paladin's insistence at attending to me and being sure I take good care of myself on many levels. While we are reversed power wise, our partners still show us with their actions how much they care.
    We are blessed....
    smiles to you both and the little one...

  7. Oh my word! This is so sweet! I just had to smile reading it and I want to re read it again!
    Poor mouse though, that sounds terrible that you fell so ill! What a guy to take care of you so well. Makes my heart melt!

  8. Mouse,
    You are such a lucky girl and this all before you were even a official couple!!! Love the story ... thank you so much for sharing!!! Looking forward to reading more!!!

  9. I can't put this book down! Oh wait it is your life.



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