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Friday, April 15, 2016

Dark Clouds Roll Away

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"

"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to."

"I don't much care where –"

"Then it doesn't matter which way you go.”

― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

 

Our unplanned trip to the lake, set off a chain of events. Daddy, while keeping mouse distracted inside with cleaning and quiet submission took his time looking around the house. He determined it needs serious updating. This set off a chain of events -- all very unsettling and exciting to mouse. He wasted no time checking out options for renovations and even hired a architect to help figure out our options.

After lots of discussion with all involved we decided to relocate permanently to the lake community later this year after the renovations are competed -- work has already begun on some parts. Even though it's a heavy tourist area, it's also has year around residents and not too remote from real civilization (like Costco, Target and Whole Foods-like market). We have talked endlessly about how much we love living there and really do get along fine without cable and Internet. Just recently a cell tower was installed so we do (sorta) have cell phone access. But data access is still spotty at best and far better in town.

Like mouse wrote, it's unsettling and exciting -- it's a lot of change. Sure we've talked about this in the past but it was when Daddy retires. He's still more than a decade away from that. We'll be doing on a permanent basis is what happens during the summer months when he returns to work early. He'll arrange his schedule to arrive on Friday evening and leave early Monday morning or Sunday evening. He said that's really the easy part for him. We're working out all the other details. It's going to be hard on us (mouse and kids) being away from him during the week.

Yet, people seem to manage it.

One thought that has occurred to mouse is that she'll have to work very hard to not make him feel like an outsider in his own home. A good friend who's husband travels sometimes for months at a time, pointed out that she developed a routine for the children and when her husband was home, it was hard for him not to feel like he was a visitor. During some extensive discussions we spoke of ways to not let that happen. Daddy is honest enough to realize there might be times he will feel out of place, but also promises to discuss those times with mouse. It will require a change in our demerit and punishment schedule.

Then there's the blogging issue, and what that will mean for mouse. Not blogging or even being able to read blogs.

It's lots to think about.

6 comments:

  1. Wow mouse. I am always amazed at how strong and secure you are in your relationship no matter what. What a great place to be that I strive for.

    My initial response to this would be anger and insecurity. One of "So I get to take care of the kids 24/7 all week while you work and come home to an empty house to relax and maybe even play?" It's not a feeling I am proud of.

    Of course in the end I would probably work through SOME of that but I have to admit I am in awe of your outlook. This will be an awesome change for your family because of your outlook.

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  2. I applaud your positive attitude and it sounds like a great place.

    We had the opposite for about a year where we were at our home base and he was away Monday thru Thursday, it was not a good experience for us but we don't live in a relaxing lake community. :-)

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  3. WOW! That was a lot to take in!

    Kudos to your positive outlook! My brain would immediately go into panic mode with the thought of losing my support system - my husband, friends, job, etc. You are a very strong woman.

    I will be so sad if your blog posts stop. I have been a lurker for years. All the best!

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  4. I did this with my husband when the girls and I lived on the Island and he was working a project up near the Canadian border for 4-6 months.
    It was tough.
    and the girls and I did get into a routine during the week, that's true.
    I'm not sure if he felt like an outsider when he came home for extended weekends.
    but I certainly felt like the schedule would get screwed up when he'd come home.
    We had to work at that part so the girls schedule didn't vary too much when "Daddy" came home.
    I know you guys will be able to find something that works for you.
    hugs mouse,
    mg
    xo

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  5. Hi Mouse, wow, what a huge change! I love how positive you are. Wishing you the best with the renovations and eventual move.

    Hugs
    Roz

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