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Friday, January 27, 2017

Should Be So Easy

Can there be a detour ahead...

It's no mistake that mouse posted on Wednesday after an absence from the blog. While the time away wasn't long, it was because mouse was working on the distance she's been feeling lately and where was it coming from.  Was it just an illusion, projection or something tangible?  Master read the post on Wednesday, but didn't say anything about it, until Demerit Thursday.  He said he understood the reason mouse would post this before, rather than after Thursday.  

Sir said this realization was a show of growth on mouse's part, something he hadn't seen a while from her.  He wasn't angry but, upon some reflection of his own he had felt neutered by mouse's return.  He wasn't in a place to deal with it properly and admitted that had he been, he would have brought us back and accepted failure himself. Having his slave (who yes is also his wife) take it upon herself to correct a mistake he wasn't yet capable of seeing was a bit off putting as much as a relief.  The distance that we both feel is a real consequence of that action.  

By this time mouse was in tears and having a hard time concentrating on his words so he stopped and let her blow her nose, splash some water on her face and calm down before he continued.  He explained carefully that the error wasn't fatal to our relationship, but trust had been harmed -- and that was on mouse -- he didn't place it there, instead mouse agreed that she broke the trust.

Then he asked how long she's realized all this, and mouse spilled the whole story to him, crying and choking it out about how terrible she felt but also felt she couldn't bring it up because of everything else that was also going on.  Now that storm is passing, the skies are beginning to slowly clear it was weighing ever more.  After sending her again to the bathroom to splash more water, dry the tears and blow her nose, he pulled her into his lap and held her close.  He said he decided that mouse had punished herself more harshly than he ever could.  It explained a lot of her behavior, the mouthiness and defensiveness, but he hadn't pieced the puzzle together yet.  Instead he sent her to the corner and told her to hike that skirt up.

Master watched as his slave went about her bedtime routine, and when he finished his own routine, found her kneeling beside the bed.  He had her get on the bed, and kneel with her rear toward him and took her from behind.  This was for him alone.  After she cleaned herself up a little and licked him clean, he pulled mouse close and held her for the first time in such a long time, he held her all night long.  This time the tears that fell weren't sadness or remorse, but pure happiness.  Joy.

This morning things are different, he invited mouse to shower with him and her arms were held above her head as he washed her body and allowed her to dry off with a dry towel.  He snapped his towel at her when she made a comment about feeling spoiled by being able to dry off with her own towel.  It felt playful though and light -- something that hasn't been around in a long time.  Dressed in her bathrobe, mouse cooked him breakfast and found her dress laid out when she returned to the bedroom after he left for work.

Are we back? No, but it feels like we're finally moving closer.  

7 comments:

  1. Big smiles for you here. hugs abby

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  2. Hi Mouse, I'm so happy to read this. So glad you two talked and are heading back to where you want to be and feeling closer. Good on you both, it was a difficult but necessary conversation.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. It was totally Roz, the 8 hundred pound gorilla that everyone ignores. It was also a timing thing -- had mouse pressed and brought it up earlier He wouldn't have heard it. Maybe...

      Hugs,
      mouse

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  3. I'm there right now. I tell myself He knows my heart and we will eventually get back. The patience getting there is so hard but I guess that's what submission is all about. Hugs mouse you will be fine. One dry towel at a time ;)

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    Replies
    1. Yep! One dry towel. One small step and soon you've gone miles from where you began right?

      Hugs,
      mouse

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