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Monday, February 13, 2017

(Barely) Bad to the Bone


The other night, mouse was talking on the phone to a very old friend, commiserating and reminiscing about our shared past experiences.  She asked mouse about the time when we were kids and mouse would pick the flowers out of Mrs. H's front yard.  Now, mouse hadn't thought about Mrs H in years. A cranky older woman who hated that the neighborhood kids had worn a path across her lawn with their bicycles.  The older woman grew poppies in that yard and mouse hearing from someone, probably another child, that it was illegal to pick the poppy plants mouse decided that was exactly what she'd do.  Why is it illegal you ask?  Because it's California's state flower.  So each summer the flowers would bloom and mouse would ride her bike, through the path us kids created and grab flowers.  It's being bad, but only barely, although that was stealing and that poor woman's lawn never really recovered from us kids...hmm

It's like flipping your middle finger at someone or challenging authority, in some ways mouse is every bit as much as she once was.   Yes, she will drive 26 miles per hour through a school zone that's designated for 25.  It makes her happy to do this.  Even if she cruises passed a police car, she will refuse to slow down.  For some odd reason she can't fathom, it makes her happy.  

Later mouse was driving Master to the car place to pick his vehicle for service, mouse recalled the conversation about the poppies to him and admitted the 26 mile an hour thing too.  

"I had no idea that you were such a wild woman, mouse." Master said, watching mouse roll through a stop sign, "You only stopped for two seconds instead of three."  

"You don't know the half of it." mouse said behind the wheel of her Prius.  "At the grocery store, when we need grapes, i taste them before buying them. If they're terrible they're just put back but if they are sweet enough that people in our house will eat, they go into the cart and when checking out, I don't tell anyone." then continuing in a hushed voice, "sometimes even eating three because sometimes you can't tell with just one." 

"It is a wonder you have never been arrested." Master replied after mulling over the new found facts he was learning about his slave.  

"Yep," mouse said with an air of pride, "Just bad to the bone." 

At this point Master is trying hard to not laugh.  

"Once while driving at night, there was a duck in the road." 

"Oh god." 

"Yep nailed it. It was by the cemetery at the pond." mouse recalled matter-of-factly.  

"The Cemetery?" 

"Yeah, we used to drink beer and smoke dope there." 

"At a cemetery? Were you driving high?" 

"Oh no, on the way to there."  

"Of course." 

Finally we arrive at the dealership, and Master gets out.  He tells mouse to drive carefully on the way home and stay away from ducks that live in cemeteries.  

"That won't be a problem, but the store has a special on grapes."   

4 comments:

  1. oh mouse, you've blown it. I'm crying into my hankie. I'll have to unfollow you on behalf of ducks everywhere.
    *wink*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, see, barely bad to the bone. It actually it was a bit distressing at the time...But really you have no idea how many suicidal birds and squirrels there are in the world. #mousetruthisms *winks back*

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  2. Love this happy post! I giggled after my long day, thank you☺

    Isabel

    ReplyDelete
  3. LoL Mouse, you bad girl you :) You and I are alike in the car, speed limits? What are they?:)

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete

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