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Monday, October 28, 2019

You are Here and Warm

...All of the things that I said that I wanted
Come rushing back in my head when I'm with you...

Slowly mouse has begun to accept her new self. The new closeness has nearly made it worthwhile.  Only nearly because mouse finds herself wishing that we hadn't needed such turmoil in order for these important talks to occur. We hadn't had anything close to sex since September 14 and mouse isn't sure but suspects Master has never gone so long without it. Not a word of complaint has passed His lips. Master also wanted to know why mouse edited her recent post and said she because she felt she was being incredibly unfair to Him.

We went out to dinner a Cajun place He'd been wanting to try, just the two of us, a rare occasion to be certain, something we haven't done in a while. Words can't express how much it meant to mouse, to just be out with Him. We talked through the dinner, sharing bites that were incredible and He laughed as mouse tasted the first bite off her own plate and her eyes rolled and proclaimed it the best thing she'd put in her mouth ever. Then He said that He'll have to plan a getaway for us to New Orleans, because if she thought this was good, she'll lose her mind there. He said it's hard to find a bad meal.

After the meal, we walked back to the car and He noticed mouse trying not to yawn. He put His arms around her and helped her inside. He slipped behind the wheel and soon mouse was leaning against the window and nodding off, feeling so beautifully contented. Occasionally, His hand would brush against her cheek and she'd just lean into His hand, like don't take it away.

We got back to a very quiet house, mouse slipped out of her shoes and walked to Him, kissing Him sweetly. After an awkward beginning we found our groove together and making love with Him was tender and loving and it made mouse shiver and she wept after. Just that overwhelming feeling of happiness and love that swept through her.

Then after, wrapped in His arms, He asked that mouse not write about the details. "Save it for us," Master said with an extra kiss.

Sunday morning she was finally able to give Him pleasure and worship His body, and she loves sucking Him, tasting and smelling Him. Then she corrected herself after saying that was the best thing she put in her mouth. Since we woke so early we spent a lot of time lounging in bed, until we absolutely felt it was time to move. He talked a lot about New Orleans and mouse listened avidly.

We showered and He gently touched the scar and tracing it with a finger, and remarked it was such a small thing that caused so many huge problems. He lifted mouse up to Him, and soon right there in the shower, His excitement became very evident. Feeling the water, His body and her legs wrapped tightly around Him, her back pressed against the side of shower wall and feeling nothing but Him inside her.

Tears fell from her eyes again and He paused, asking why and mouse tried to explain it. We haven't kissed or touched like this in so long. It's like thinking you don't need that, it's fine the way it is and suddenly it returns, and you realize that you did need it. Badly. Saying the words out loud made her sob harder and hold onto Him even more tight.

Now it felt like mouse was shattering around Him as He held her, so tightly it was like He was holding her together. We used up all the hot water. It was as though mouse's heart just exploded with love for Master. 

6 comments:


  1. Dear mouse-
    that post made me cry. So happy for you and your Master. May you always be this happy and loved. Andi

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  2. What a beautiful, sweet post Mouse! How wonderful to take time out together, just the two of you.

    I'm so glad you are communicating and feeling even closer and even more glad your recovery is going well enough to allow some intimacy:)

    Hugs
    Roz

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  3. dear mouse,

    This post made me cry. Thank you as always for writing so honestly and openly. Sometimes things fall away and we convince ourselves or unconsciously think we don't need them when in truth we do. Of course actions can always speak louder than words but sometimes it's nice to feel and here it more than see it. Sometimes we need vocal reassurance more than we realize. I'm so happy you both have grown even more together and continue to evolve and love and be. Here's to more sunny and warm days ahead, even if it's almost winter :)

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  4. To love and be loved is all that matters. Also excellent medicine for you both.

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  5. "It's like thinking you don't need that, it's fine the way it is and suddenly it returns, and you realize that you did need it. Badly. "

    I understand this way way too much.

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  6. This was wonderful to hear about!
    Fleur41

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