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Friday, October 25, 2019

You'll Always Go Along


Defend Him when He's wrong, And tell Him when He's strong
He is wonderful
He'll always need your love, and so, He'll get your love
A Man who needs your love,
can be wonderful.

Those first few days that mouse was home from the hospital, Master slipped behind her when on the couch and we watched movies, when He wasn't busy with other things. One of the musicals we watched was The King and I. He chuckled a few times at mouse as she watched it. Then the tears fell listening to this song. The tears baffled Him but He gave her a kiss and wiped them away.

We talked a lot between the movies, or during them if He found them dull. We had an entire discussion through Dr Zhivago, it's a movie He freely admits is dull. Well, it is a little long. All mouse remembers was us talking and that love theme, whatever, playing in the background. The music.

<Segment removed -- by mouse because she's stupid>

Years ago, when the blog was new, He would often remark that He sometimes felt a little blindsided by mouse after reading a post she wrote. Now, she kinda gets it. When she read His post about His past drug use on Tuesday it left mouse a little unsettled. Like somehow reading His words suddenly made it feel differently to her. He's always been quick to believe that mouse only sees the worst in Him? Master has been a little down lately, like the discussions highlighted for Him areas where He feels He's failed mouse.

Never once was mouse ashamed of Him or felt that He failed mouse and never stopped trusting or loving Him either. Master was the Man who picked her, through His strength and His courage, she saw He was completely right when He said that she needed therapy too to cope with her past issues. Just like Master bravely tackles His own issues with the same level of commitment that He used to encourage mouse to get help.

It angered her when she learned of it initially a long, long time ago and told Him then that she wouldn't hang around to see Him blow up His whole life. And didn't. He was in rehab and mouse quit her job, sold her home, and was packing up to leave by the time He got out back then. Phone disconnected, without even a goodbye. A clean break from Him and the past.

Or so she thought.

Maybe the universe wasn't finished with us? We ended up together, it's been a wonderful ride so far and we've only just begun (yes another song). Plenty more pages and chapters to fill in our book (or blog) and she trusts Him completely to guide her and if He'll allow it, to help Him too along the way. Whatever He wishes for us to be or for mouse to be, so it will be. Etcetera, etcetera..

Sometimes taking a curve in the road a little too fast, the car fishtails a little and for a moment you hope that letting your foot off the gas will be enough to regain control.

For some reason Master didn't find that analogy (not sure if that was even the word He used) very comforting, did mouse see our life as car careening out of control? The reply was more an indifferent shrug because it just happens. One day you wake up and find out instead of a few hours passed, you lost a whole week. It's just life.

Of course, mouse added with a hug, she doesn't have to worry about regaining control of the car -- that's His job. 

2 comments:

Omega said...

My lady,

I have never meant to belittle you, far from it, often I am astonished by your complexity. I suppose I did not give enough credit to you and imagined that song lyric you quoted with ease was an exception but in looking through some of the band's song catalog, I find it more a rule. I apologize for my laughter, it was wrong to make such an assumption. I often forget music can be poetic, even with schmaltz.

I believe you when you wrote about your trust. I suppose like most going through a rough patch, I was quick to believe that I was unworthy now of that confidence.

I do love you my lady. Since I have your faith, I only ask now for your patience as we move ahead. You know me, I worry far too much about you and our life together. For now I ask you to focus on what I expect and the future will just unfold before us both. I will never ask you to become something I do not value.

Unconditionally

mouse said...

Thank you a lot Master and will really try to be patient.

Love you so very much!