Being Held Accountable

Master hasn't been thrilled with His slave lately. Things today are different, everyone is home most of the time, the quiet moments are few and far between and mouse began feeling overwhelmed. Instead of using her voice, asking Him for help, or just explaining her frustrations, mouse became mouthy, snappish and very quick to downright anger. This was concerning to Master, who first made sure mouse wasn't hiding illness again from Him, because she was nearly that bad. He didn't really think that was the problem since He noticed it building slowly over a period of time. It seemed unfair to Him to punish because of the pandemic, since He felt the added stresses, but He also couldn't take it any longer, we all are fairly used to this new version of normal. This also wasn't an all the time thing obviously. 

This wasn't about keeping house, or anything except attitude. Master told mouse, after the house was quiet on Thursday evening to go to the bedroom, undress, kneel and wait for Him. That certainly brought a shiver that went straight up her spine. Quickly, mouse removed her make-up, brushed her teeth, undressed completely, lit a candle in the corner, turned off the bathroom light and knelt down at the foot of the bed and waited. 

How we see ourselves is often far harsher than how others might see us, but this was not one of those times. Honestly as mouse did that mental accounting, it still mystified her a little as to why this was happening now. As she waited, rolling over in her mind her recent behavior and how shameful it was. That was truly the main feeling she had. Shame. Nude, exposed and impure. This was punishment and not fun. Waiting wasn't easy as she mentally ranked the offenses. In days passed the whipping would be harsh but now things are different. Wistfully she mused if this would be it. Contemplatively kneeling, reflecting on the wrongs and then discussion about what could be done better or how to handle the triggers more effectively. The next thought chilled her, would this be enough? Sure knowing you've disappointed your Master should be enough but it rarely is for some reason. 

This was taking forever as tears began to roll down her cheeks and now aware that her legs weren't happy in this position, as she began to shift her weight, desperate to find that center of gravity. Finally Master's presence was the distraction she needed, as she heard Him enter, felt the air as He walked across the room, and sat on the chair by His side of the bed. If He were interested in having a view of His slave, where He was seated wasn't the spot. Then at last Master began to speak, and hearing His side of things was worse. What He described was more akin to being a "fishwife" than a slave. Maybe it was good He couldn't see mouse since her tears might have seemed trite regardless of how sincere they felt to her? Now worry filled her. The kneeling discomfort vanished and He called mouse to Him. Not sure if watching her crawl was pleasing or not, but standing was out of the question. 

He moved the chair and offered a hand to help her stand. He positioned her in the corner, nose to the wall, and told her to not move. He was getting ready for bed and left mouse to contemplate. Knowing what would come next, He would likely ask her what she could do differently to self correct and it had better be convincing. Maybe convincing isn't the right word, she's not trying to trick Him. Master wants to know that she's taking this all very seriously. For a brief moment as mouse stood there, nose to the corner and hands behind her back, wondered if the lash would be easier? A good thrashing and the problem would be solved. 

Or would it? 

Here we go again trying to dictate her slavery to Him on her own terms, when it's not about her at all and only Him. The only thing Master wanted was a slave that didn't back talk to anyone. He also understood why it sometimes happened, but He also reminded mouse that we're supposed to be modeling good behavior. He really shouldn't need to remind her of anything, especially at this point. If it were possible deeper remorse was settling in, as Master reentered the room and told mouse to bend over the side of the bed. Feeling His fingers probe her asshole, then feeling the fullness of the plug being inserted. Then she felt Him enter her, which really hurt because He's large and the plug was large too. Any excitement she might have felt was rapidly diminishing as pain began to overtake. His large hands now grabbed and clawed at her nipples and breasts. This was ONLY for His pleasure. When He finished He simply pushed off her, pulled her from the bed, threw her pillow onto the floor and informed her that she wasn't welcome in the bed until she was better behaved. 

For now, she was nothing important to Him and only a slave, undeserving of any courtesy. The following morning an since, she has bathed in the tub with cool water (not a huge hardship since it's been so warm) and washing her hair in the tub as well. No showers with Master. And must wait in the tub until her body dries before dressing. This is after He showers and she dries Him off with a towel. During the day she is to keep a civil tongue in her head and He's definitely paying attention. Since He's working from home most days, He doesn't allow the others living in the house to take advantage. Let's face it, sharks can smell blood in the water, and so can kids. He's not letting them to take unfair advantage. 

It was sometime over the weekend that it suddenly occurred to mouse that this is what He wants. He's the authority. Such a simple thing. He did allow a few blankets on the floor for mouse to lay on at night providing a scant amount of cushion.  Everything else has been, so far, going along fine. 

Since this is ongoing, there might be a followup to this post at some point. Or maybe it really is just what it is.