Things have been good lately, really good, the kind of good that gives you pause. Last year things were good and then they weren't. That's life, though isn't it? Most recently there's been a recognizing that she wasn't the slave she thought she was. There's been some gains in becoming His perfection, and overall Master is satisfied with the ongoing progress. It's not exactly his fault that mouse remained stagnated in her slavery -- the outside world seemed to do that for us both. While the shift in focus from the outside to a more inward has been huge, it's also helped immensely with her outward focus as well. That was sort of unexpected for mouse.
There's an apparent calmness that wasn't there before, and it's made mouse wonder if she'd had those feelings, as she does now, then, would last year have turned different? Would she have stayed at the lake and just patiently waited? Master said there's no way to know and he doesn't regret mouse returning -- considering how terrible the winter has been and how difficult travel has been (all that complicated by the family issues).
To be clear, mouse isn't trying to validate in anyway what she did, but really at this point trying to make sense of it. It's really about perspective, and avoiding a similar error in the future.
Master did announce that we'll be returning to the lake for spring break. It will be a week of work, but worth it, since we'll be able to get the place more or less settled for our summer return. In the meantime, mouse has discovered a peaceful mindfulness here that usually only happened at the lake. It is making her excited for the short return. In that compare/contrast way. Will she feel even more relaxed there? Or will it just continue?
Daily now mouse is wearing the plug, nearly around the clock, and it's helping to keep her thoughts from wandering too far. The corset is a little tighter than she'd like, but she's getting used to that constricted feeling and is beginning to welcome it. The jewelry also helps, in an odd way. That is a bit surprising but being told to wear earrings and the pearls Master gave her, is rather like outward signs of His ownership of her. Whereas the plug and corset are inward displays of his ownership.
One thing is for sure, while Master will (hopefully) continue to encourage and guide mouse, he's simply not "Daddy" anymore. He is of course, but at the same time, he's not. There's been a shift to being more Master-like in guiding mouse's slavery to him rather than the focus on her personal growth. Now, it's more about her growth as his slave and property. It's also a bit fascinating to mouse that her personal growth is very much tied to her slavery. They're both connected.
There's an apparent calmness that wasn't there before, and it's made mouse wonder if she'd had those feelings, as she does now, then, would last year have turned different? Would she have stayed at the lake and just patiently waited? Master said there's no way to know and he doesn't regret mouse returning -- considering how terrible the winter has been and how difficult travel has been (all that complicated by the family issues).
To be clear, mouse isn't trying to validate in anyway what she did, but really at this point trying to make sense of it. It's really about perspective, and avoiding a similar error in the future.
Master did announce that we'll be returning to the lake for spring break. It will be a week of work, but worth it, since we'll be able to get the place more or less settled for our summer return. In the meantime, mouse has discovered a peaceful mindfulness here that usually only happened at the lake. It is making her excited for the short return. In that compare/contrast way. Will she feel even more relaxed there? Or will it just continue?
Daily now mouse is wearing the plug, nearly around the clock, and it's helping to keep her thoughts from wandering too far. The corset is a little tighter than she'd like, but she's getting used to that constricted feeling and is beginning to welcome it. The jewelry also helps, in an odd way. That is a bit surprising but being told to wear earrings and the pearls Master gave her, is rather like outward signs of His ownership of her. Whereas the plug and corset are inward displays of his ownership.
One thing is for sure, while Master will (hopefully) continue to encourage and guide mouse, he's simply not "Daddy" anymore. He is of course, but at the same time, he's not. There's been a shift to being more Master-like in guiding mouse's slavery to him rather than the focus on her personal growth. Now, it's more about her growth as his slave and property. It's also a bit fascinating to mouse that her personal growth is very much tied to her slavery. They're both connected.
I wish there was a like or love button.
ReplyDeleteIsabel
I am also in a state of Him turning from Daddy to Master. I miss His Daddy side but I understand why His "Masterness" must be present right now. When I begin to pout or get upset, I think about how lucky I am to have Him know what is needed and the strength to do it. I also think about the belt and disappointing Him... that helps too with wanting to pout, lol. Hugs mouse, so glad things are going well - Hilary
ReplyDeleteI love this post Mouse. Happy to hear you are such a good place :)
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
The undulations of any relationship are difficult to explain.
ReplyDeleteGood to read this post.
hugs
DF