Lined in Pain

Good morning friends, our temperatures today are expected to be little warmer than usual but still quite chilly in the evening, with no snow or rain in the forecast.  We're all looking forward to a quiet weekend, but there are a few things that need to be done around the house.  Last week a shelf broke in our bedroom closet, of course Daddy told mouse that there was too much on it.  He'll repair it.  By all account mouse's favorite ritual is the one where he comes home at the end of the day.  Greeting him, taking his coat and briefcase and seeing him settled in his chair.  It's mouse's time to dote on him a little.  A tall glass of iced tea, or if his days has been particularly trying, a cocktail or glass of wine.  Then mouse kneels and removes his shoes.  It's probably the most special time to mouse.  

On Wednesday night, mouse got fucked so hard, so deeply by Daddy that she waddled to the bathroom. Seriously, normally he's rather careful not to hurt mouse down there. Yet, the need in him was strong, and just as strong was mouse's need who stupidly egged him on.

It felt so good, his body slamming into her sweet spot, repeatedly and her orgasm was huge.

On Thursday morning when Daddy came at mouse again, she shuddered -- oh crap not again! He was gentle and it felt incredible. Still mouse was walking a bit funny. A long hot shower, a couple ibuprofen later mouse felt fine.  Thursday evening, mouse was in his study and he went through the demerits she garnered during the past week.  

Even though her offenses were small, Daddy felt they still warranted correction of some sort, so he went to the wardrobe cabinet, and took out the cane.   Not sure when he decided the number, but felt ten would suffice  The difference with this punishment, he didn't want mouse to make a sound.   He cleared off a portion of his desk, held out the cane for mouse to kiss and had her bend over the desk.   He instructed mouse again to not make a sound (if she did more would be added), and to stretch her arms out before her.  Then he spoke, asking her questions about the demerits, forgetting important items at the grocery store, over-spending on her allowed budget (there were a couple "impulse buys" that she hadn't asked permission before).  'What will you do next time?' Daddy wanted to know and mouse replied that she'll work harder at making a proper list and if she sees something that isn't included she will ask his permission before buying it.  

The first blow hit and it sent a ribbon of pain surging through her.  "No lip biting mouse," he warned.  

The second blow felt harder than the first and by the fifth blow, mouse was straining to keep from gasping.  On blow number eight. mouse was barely able to hold herself together, but he announced only two to go and told her she was doing well.  There was noticeable trembling at number nine,  and ten landed around her thighs with a sting that just about sent mouse screaming.  

After her held her for a few minutes as tears finally were allowed to fall.  He rubbed her red, hot bottom and told her that she did a good job for him and he knew it was going to be hard.  

"Punishments are never easy." 

Then he did something different, he had mouse stand in the corner of his study.  To contemplate her pain and errors.  

"Lift that skirt slave, so I can admire the view." 

With her back to him, she could hear him replacing the moved items on his desk, then the shuffling of papers, the familiar creak of his chair as he moved it and sat.  

"I hope your carefully pondering your punishment slave." 

The pulse of the throbbing seemed to match her heart beat as mouse tried to focus on the punishment. Tears fell from her cheeks as she began to process the whole thing.  Remorse, lots of remorse...not that she'd be caught but because this is such an old problem.  Will mouse ever really learn this lesson?

The caress of his hand brought her back, as Daddy stood behind her.  He whispered for her to drop her skirt and go wash her face.  Wordlessly mouse obeyed.  In the glaring light of the bathroom, alone she cried, splashed water on her face and returned to him with her head lowered in shame.  

"Time for bed mouse.  Go ahead and ready yourself, I'll be up in a few minutes." 

The long trek up the two flights of stairs to our bedroom, mouse choked back more sobs of regret.  As she undressed, she caught a glimpse of her striped rear, bright red, with rising welts.  They reminded mouse of her error.  Usually when she sees the marks left behind from him she feels they look pretty.  

His mark.  

This time it was a reminder of mistakes.  Already mouse wished them gone.  Looking at her reflection in the mirror, mouse wondered if when she's 80 will she still be getting the same punishment for the same mistake?  When she looked up after washing the makeup off her face, she saw Daddy standing behind her watching.  

Turning,  mouse sort of crumbled into his arms tears streaming down her cheeks.  He held her for several minutes, then took the towel, and wiped the tears away.   Then he undressed and climbed into bed, waiting for mouse to beg permission.   Honestly, mouse wasn't sure she could form words but she did and the ritual was complete.  The need for that ritual seemed extra important.  Sure, he could have just as easily offered her permission to just go to bed or commanded that she just do it.  The art of making her ask him, made her feel comforted.  

Despite the punishment we're still the same.  All is well.  

It'll Soon Be Here

 

Not much to say today friends. Everything has been relatively quiet, Daddy busy with work, and mouse has kept busy in the house. Made a lovely banana bread, and the coffee's hot. Not much sun shining today; it's rather dreary out. It's really been a good time to get into those dusty nooks and crannies -- clear out some accumulated clutter.

Monday night Daddy got home from work, and mouse greeted him with a cocktail (he had already forewarned mouse his day was awful). After removing his shoes, mouse remained at his feet for a few minutes. Daddy touched mouse's head and this unseen wave passed through her. It wasn't a warm feeling of submission, exactly, but it was this feeling of contentment.

Later, in his study, mouse made herself useful to Daddy by spending a long time sucking him. Cannot say enough how much mouse loves that feeling of him inside her mouth. The taste, his musky scent just fuels mouse. Knowing its bringing him pleasure and helps him relax doesn't hurt either. It gives her a rush that she can't explain. It might be the most selfless thing she could do for him.

Later in bed, mouse tried and failed to put those thoughts into words that made sense. Wrapped safely in his arms, he still gives mouse time to talk, to share with him her thoughts, which are all too often disjointed and incomplete. Daddy doesn't mind when mouse clicks off subjects in a rapid fire pattern of thought vomit. Sometimes he'll pull her closer, other times he'll very quietly chuckle -- but without fail, he validates her feelings.

Daddy always reminds mouse that if she feels something -- it's already valid. It was a difficult concept for mouse to grasp. It's not about being right or wrong, that's discussed later. But he's careful to never diminish the emotion. It mouse feels slighted in some way, it's valid. It might not be as big of a deal as she will build it up in her mind, but it's valid to Daddy.

 

Bring Back that Loving (submissive) Feeling

 

Good morning friends, our weather is much the same as last week. It's like an endless loop of winter weather that can't quite decide which direction it's going. In an odd way the weather and inability to decide. is echoing what mouse feels at the moment.

There are times when mouse feels extremely submissive, and it probably shows in her writing. Lately those feelings have been a struggle to mouse. It's not as though she's not submitting to Daddy's wishes, or even failing as his slave -- or in the realm of household duties. It's more that she doesn't feel submissive. It's like there is a struggle to get herself into that mindset of feeling submissive.

When mouse feels submissive, slavery to Daddy is easy and even now, feeling as mouse does, it's not hard or difficult, but there is an odd internal struggle going on when she sits to write. We enjoyed a lovely weekend with plenty of opportunities to serve and service Daddy. Yet it felt, like just another day, there was no resentment about what she was doing, it was rote. Sometimes when the submissive feelings prove elusive, mouse will become a bit cranky. Stand toe to toe and do something to utterly piss Daddy off. Upon reflection, maybe it's to elicit a response from him, to somewhat force his hand to take responsibility for what goes on in mouse's head? This isn't what mouse is feeling. If anything there's a numbness to it all -- or maybe just apathetic.

Whatever it is, it's becoming quite annoying to mouse. Yes, she realizes its not a huge issue, it's not affecting her life or most important her service to Daddy or our family. It's just unnerving to feel so disconnected. It begs to ask if anyone else has felt like this? Did it just resolve itself on its own?

Come Rain or Come Shine

Good morning Friends, it's been very chilly the past few days here.  We were treated to some snow flurries that danced around the breeze on Wednesday night.  It's been a rather green winter here, not that mouse is complaining at all about that.  Daddy continues catching up from the days he was out ill, and mouse has more or less been left to own devices in the evening time.  

Snuggled down with a throw blanket, mouse decided to watch a movie.  Not going to mention which movie it was, because they're all kinda the same.  Someone always lights a hundred or so candles to woo the other person.  As mouse watched it occurred to her we don't have that many candles, and mouse certainly is a big fan of candlelight, but how long would it take to light that many candles?  

Probably too long, but mouse did light a few of her pillar candles and then settled back to enjoy the rest of the movie.  Daddy came through, saying it was time for bed and began to blow out the candles, and treated it all like it was perfectly normal.  Romance is certainly lost on that man.  

Yet, mouse made absolutely no effort to light the candles in our bedroom either.   As pretty as our bedroom looks with the candles all lit, mouse knows they'll be used against her.  So instead she kneeled beside the bed, as though a child contemplating prayer, and begged permission to enter it. This business of asking permission to enter the bed is a bit surprising to her.  Honestly, mouse never thought it would go on for as long as it has and maybe more strange is that mouse actually likes the idea of asking Daddy permission.  

Sometimes he'll go to bed earlier than mouse (it's pretty rare), like when he was ill or must get up early for traveling, and he'll just offer 'blanket' permission by saying, 'Don't stay up too late but just come to bed when you're ready.' There have been times when mouse has gotten involved in something be it a book or movie, and just lost track of time.  He'll be in bed pretending or really asleep and mouse will be at a loss.  Those times probably really define if the rule is important or not, and for some reason to mouse it is because she will often kneel or sit beside the bed and rest her head on it until Daddy notices.  

Now mouse has never asked if the unspoken rule is actually a hard and fast rule that must always be followed.  It was something he mentioned once a few months ago, but never stated exactly how important it was to him (or even if at the time it was important that it be followed each and every time).  Still those times that she hasn't asked for permission and spent many hours beside the bed, he's always clucked about how proud he was and what a good girl mouse was.  It's probably good she's never asked him about all that -- really she doesn't want to know. It might spoil something in her head.

In truth, it could very well be that there would be no reprimand at all from him if she did enter the bed without asking.  Yet the fact that she is willing to sleep on the cold floor, and rest her head on the bed because she hasn't received his blessing, counts for something else.  This, it has occurred to mouse is the essence of submission.  Doing something not because you are afraid of a consequence but because you truly want to do it.  This has become something that mouse truly wishes to do and willing sit on the floor only reminds her that she's given herself to him.  

Holding Hands and Spending the Hours Reminiscing

Good Morning friends, our weather here is still deciding which way to go, we seem stuck in an endless loop between rain and snow. Not always cold enough for snow, but an odd mixture of ice and rain. Thankfully the ice really doesn't stick to the ground, but leaves its mark in icicles that grow longer from the rain gutters.

As Daddy got a bit better, he decided to spend a little time reading some of his old journals that he's dutifully kept over the years. He's rarely without one -- in all the years mouse has known him. There's a level of dedication in him that's somewhat surprising. He's got a few older journals that describe other parts of his life -- parts he wouldn't want the kids or his mother to read. The devil is in the details, as you flip through heady torture device designs and vivid descriptions of scenes from the Dom point of view.

There are some dedicated to former slaves he's known -- going into some detail about how they were trained. Each were different and trained in a completely different way. Not sure why this surprised mouse but it did. When asked, he simply replied that each had different strengths and weaknesses. Matter-of-fact that man is -- he went on to explain that each responded differently to various stimuli. He sounds like a scientist at times. The Hypothesis (what he thinks might occur) The experiment (the scene or situation). The subject (slave, sub or bottom). It was all kinda mind blowing to mouse.

Eventually, he put aside the old journals, settled back into bed, and mouse snuggled close to him, asking why he didn't train her the way he'd trained the other girls. He just replied the question wasn't appropriate and gave mouse a task to suck him.

"Hands behind your back slave."

It's more challenging for mouse while he's laying down to keep her position, but she settled and began to lick his shaft, and smiled as he grew more hard. He commented that he likes it when she makes eye contact with him and smiles as she sucks -- it shows that she loves what she's doing and enjoys it as much as he.

Honestly, it's something mouse never really thought about.

Tuesday morning was a back to routine, with mouse waking him with more oral attention, then we exercised and showered together. He had mouse wear her sexy corset with a sheer blouse. He allowed mouse to pick out the skirt. Running errands feeling exposed provided the right erotic mix. A thought occurred to mouse as she left the dtycleaners with Daddy's suits, she was hungry and thought since she only had a few dollars left she would call Daddy and let him take her to lunch. Bold of mouse, don't you think?

We met outside his work, and walked to a nearby restaurant. He ordered for mouse and then for himself. We made idle chitchat and left. On the way home he instructed mouse to stop at the florist on the way home. The florist who knows us both beamed and handed mouse a lovely bouquet of her favorite flowers.

At home after putting the flowers in water, and putting everything else away mouse had a few quiet moments, it's very unusual and had time to read more of the Lauren Bacall book. There was more time for reading after dinner. Daddy had a lot of work to catch up on, so mouse settled at his feet. At bedtime, he watched as mouse undressed, brushed her teeth and asked permission to enter the bed. He made her wait until he had gotten himself ready and was already in bed, then she was invited. It was a good night. A very good night.

Nothing to Say

Good morning friends, we all seemed to survive the bug we acquired. Thankfully, despite being awful, it only lasted around 10 days. Slowly we're all recovering. Daddy is back to giving orders and arranging mouse's duties. Also he's back to giving mouse some much needed maintenance spankings.

Also, mouse learned Daddy's man cold was nothing to sneeze at, as she earned herself some corner time this weekend. A boundary was pushed by mouse just a little too far. Daddy reminded mouse that her purpose to him is to be pleasing, and chiding him wasn't doing the trick.

That was also the instance where mouse stopped worrying about him. If he's strong enough to rebuke or punish mouse he's well on the way to feeling better. We did make up for the days we felt too sick to screw on Sunday. So his record of at least eight orgasms per week remains unblemished.

Bugs

Everyone here is sick -- either it's a bad cold, flu or Ebola we aren't sure.

Today's agenda includes grocery shopping -- because we're running dangerously low on Fruity Pebbles and Apple Jacks. Yes, mouse is a surely sarcastic one today -- because we all know, one person in the house isn't allowed to be sick.

Daddy said mouse can skip the chores as he asks for the DVD remote and to have mouse put in Apocalypse Now. He also announced he would like some soup. Was that mouse growling or the dog?

 

Casual Friday

Good morning Friends, it's finally Friday. The week has been super busy. Lots going on, nothing bad. Weather has been very cold. No snow, just cold. We're looking forward to a hopefully quiet weekend.

Hopefully next week will be better or at least less busy!

 

That's the Story of Love

Good Morning Friends! It's gotten quite chilly this morning and our schizophrenic winter continues. Mid-week blues, much to do still before the weekend. Today's agenda includes putting away the final remnants of Christmas and later maybe a trip to Michaels to see what they have for St Valentines Day next month. Want to do something in the entryway -- it looked so pretty during Chanukah, thought it would be nice to do something different for Valentines.

Last night Daddy came home from work and after dinner he had mouse settle in his study after dinner at his feet. Been reading the book by Lauren Bacall, Myself, how in love she was with Bogart and he with her. Later, we watched an episode of the Ken Burns documentary on the Civil War. What struck mouse was the letters read that demonstrated genuine affection and left mouse sometimes in tears. Yes, Daddy thought the tears were amusing.

Later we snuggled into bed, talked a little, he listened politely to mouse's rambles about a few decorations for the entry. He even said he'd give her a little extra money -- well that was nice. In that hurry-up way of his -- like it was his way of ending the discussion. He laughed when mouse asked him about that. Then he mused that we could certainly use our time differently.

"You mean sleeping, Sir?"

Not moving he simply suggested better uses for her mouth.

As she moved, he reminded, "hands behind your back slave."

Pretty Please with Sugar on It

Good Morning friends it's really good to be back! As mouse wrote in her last post of 2014, Daddy surprised her by whisking her away following the big holidays. The very best part, it was just the two of us, with the kids and animals ferried off to relatives. It was wonderful since everything was still all Christmas-like. We stayed at a nice hotel and is it terrible to say we hardly left the room the first night? Maybe because of the travel or excitement, or whatever mouse felt snippy and snapped at him more than once.

He wasted no time, once we unpacked correcting mouse with his belt across her bare bottom. After, he had her stand in the corner of the room, with her skirt hiked up. In the privacy of his study, or our bedroom it's not a huge issue for mouse, but in this strange place, it made mouse embarrassed. Throbbing rear, which had to be so bright red, he could read by it. What if's played in her mind. Things like what if room service showed up or housekeeping came to bring more towels, pillows or turn down the bed (did they even do that anymore) and the humiliation of the moment filled her. Other thoughts also entered her mind, like what if they did show up? Would they even notice or care and finally wouldn't it be kinda hot? Trying to maintain some level of composure mouse pretended to study the paint on the wall.

Was that a knock? No, it was Daddy placng a glass on the table, but he chuckled noticing mouse jump a little. He clucked praise for holding her position, still mouse felt somewhat mortified, put in her place and aroused all at the same time. Confusing? Very the raw mix of emotions.

Eventually the punishment concluded and he instructed mouse to kneel, marking the spot with the toe of his shoe. He hadn't said she could lower her skirt so she simply let it puddle on the floor. The heat from her rear coupled with the coolness of her feet made her shift a little. Eventually room service did show up, with a tray of food, which Daddy had them leave by the door, and they were followed by housekeeping, where he took the extra towels, pillows and blanket. Noone saw anything untoward.

Then he arranged the food on the small table by the window, and sat down to eat. He tapped his thigh to call mouse to him like a dog and fed her from his fork while she remained on the floor. Once Daddy was sure there'd be no more interruptions, he told mouse to undress and return to that spot on the floor as he continued to cut up bits of food and feed her. He didn't speak.

Later he again took his belt her to body, and pulled out of his suitcase his riding crop. The angry welts rose quickly as he marked her flesh, ignoring the muffled cries from mouse. No part was deemed too tender for the crop, and mouse buried herself into a pillow to let tears flow. The change in her whole demeanor however was profound, and quite lasting.

We did venture out to sightsee, meet up with friends and eat some amazing food.

New Years Eve, mouse was thoroughly pampered, bruised and ready for the night. Hair was in a up-do, little black dress, black pumps, silk stockings (the kind with a line up the back) garter and corset. Daddy looked quite dapper in his tux. We went to a fabulous restaurant with some fantastic friends and then back to the hotel, where we drank, ate, and danced (yes Daddy danced) the night away.

Seriously, mouse became quite tipsy. Slutty mouse came out, as she always does when alcohol is added. Daddy didn't mind it (for once).

Then he whispered to mouse, just about 30 minutes to midnight, "I want you to finger your clit while I fuck you."

With wide eyes mouse moved quickly toward the elevator doors. We got back to the hotel room and didn't pause to undress, he just lifted the back of mouse's dress. He slapped her rear and said to finger her clit. When he entered her, mouse was already ready to orgasm and begging for it. It was fast, furious and full of lust. It was surprising how quickly it all happened. Still there was something fun about it.

We had just rejoined the party as the revelers counted town to 2015. He was as calm and cool as James Bond, but mouse looked like she'd been fucked. We returned to our friends and enjoyed the rest of the evening, with more dancing, more drinking and honestly mouse doesn't know what else.

The next morning however, o m g, the hangover was tremendous. Both of us were hurting. Daddy ordered room service which took forever (honestly we have no clue how long it took, but it really did feel like days). Meanwhile we're sitting in the empty bathtub, because it felt good with towels. There's a reason neither of us drink that much (and so many different things Oy!), anymore.

We stayed in the room with the do not disturb, hanging on the door until Friday morning, when it was finally time to check out and fly back to reality. Our flight was good, the drive home, thankfully long, Daddy didn't pull off or detour, which was a bit surprising to mouse. We ran errands downtown, reality really setting in, we dropped our clothes at the dry cleaners and went grocery shopping for the first Friday dinner of the new year. Then we finally hurried home, and mouse began cooking, ran the washer (thankfully the housekeeper had already been there so the house was clean) and later showered. Kids came home and hugs were handed out. Just 24 hours earlier and we were so hung over we could barely move after a super fun New Years Eve party. And now here we were dropping off the dry cleaning and shopping for dinner at Whole Foods.

Then it hit mouse, a whole new year had just started that will be full of new adventures for us. Our only resolution is to live well, which means for mouse finally kicking a few bad remaining bad habits.

Friday night, dinner, family returned, some stories were shared of our adventure and Saturday was blissfully quiet. Saturday night began the whole going through everything to see what was needed for Monday. Meals had to be planned for the week. A myriad of things to plan for -- it felt overwhelming mostly since it felt like it was all left to the last minute. Still there's a calm in our house that's very nice -- for now. Soon, kids will be grumbling, Daddy will be down trying to seem chipper but quiet, it's a Monday after all and who likes those? Especially ones that fall all too heavily after more than a week off.