Wouldn't it be Lovely?

Or would it?  In an effort to explain, we must start at the beginning. Years and years ago, at the behest of a friend, mouse downloaded the book Outlander and probably read a few paragraphs and since it failed to scratch any itches she had, promptly forgot all about it. Equally likely it was pushed aside for something more overtly smutty. As much as Master has tried (and repeatedly failed) to foster interest in more classic literature, mouse has always gravitated toward smutty bodice ripping stories that lack any real substance (in a literary sense) but filled with steamy sexy scenes. It's also rather embarrassing when people ask, as they invariably do, 'have you read any good books lately?' 

The reply is generally no, offered without much consideration. Naturally this has led her to be, at times, sharply admonished, as though a lack of interest in reading is akin to everything that's wrong with the world. While they might be apt, mouse has never gravitated to reading much and goes through lengthy periods without even thinking to open a book. That alone is enough to give friends of her's a strong case of the vapers, as they could never imagine themselves without a book close at hand. 

Magazines are something she does actively read, mostly for the photographs and on occasion the story. Although, even those become incredibly annoying to her. Anyone who has looked up a recipe online might understand or even agree that one doesn't need a lengthy meandering tale of the writer's grandmother's kitchen and a hundred artful photographs of their perfect ingredients in their perfect kitchen that leaves one haplessly scrolling for an eternity to find the damn recipe. For a news article, honestly all mouse wants to know is the basics (who, what, where, when, how and why). One will often find a vivid destruction of how someone dressed for work when they woke in the morning, or how the cobblestones felt under their feet as they walked...all the fluff that has zero to do with the actual story. Some 20 paragraphs in you suddenly learn they heard of the event from a "friend" (or relative or second-cousin's hairdresser...), who writes this stuff? Stephen King? In her much younger years, mouse did read a lot of Stephan King and grew increasingly annoyed that sometimes an entire chapter of the story was wasted building a character one might assume some importance to the tale, then vanishes completely only to pop up again when they're killed off (probably horribly) later in the book. 

Ok enough of trying to validate the lack of interest in reading, let's simply push on before mouse becomes guilty of the very thing she truly hates, because there is a point. Each morning Master and slave exercise side by side, while Master's treadmill is a fancy one (His has a screen that shows landscapes, not only providing something nice to look at, but also influence the way the machine behaves. Going uphill, the machine inclines, or running on a beach might cause the machine create its own drag). As opposed to the one His slave uses that is quite simple and completely manual. It hasn't a screen so early exercising was a slog for her, unless you count the blob that eventually completes a circle to indicate a quarter mile has been traveled. Incline is also manual, so mouse just raises and lowers it with a touch of the button. Master decided it would be ok for mouse to watch something on her tablet. For a long while it was the show, "Call the Midwife." a very wholesome story set in the early 1960s district of London about a group of women who work as midwifes but eventually ran out of episodes and needed something else to watch. 

This brings us back around to Outlander and began watching that. Roughly 20 minutes into the first episode, it began to feel vaguely familiar, like something she'd seen before. After the workout a quick google search revealed it was a series based on...A novel. How stupid was mouse? Quick search on the book app found the book and began reading later that evening. Now with a reason to read, in an effort to stay ahead of the story unfurling on the Netflix app, mouse began to carve out time to read (of course with Master's blessing). The book and television series are both enjoyable (there are some differences but it doesn't seem too bothersome). The gist of the story is a woman living in post world war two period is somehow transported to the late 1700s. Setting aside that mouse should have continued reading this long ago, since it does tick a huge box for her. One of the first books mouse ever read on her own was Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder and long held fantasies of milking a cow before school. Escapism maybe for the little mouse who was raised in a bustling noisy city, fast forward decades and the odd fascination continued with her becoming enthralled with stories about things were long ago. Upstairs/Downstairs (which she saw on PBS) was the first time mouse remembered seeing servants and having them as part of the story (often with the focus on them more than the upstairs counterparts). Then in the early 2000s there was show (think it was again on PBS, really mouse should speak to Master about donating more) called something like 1900s House, where a group of people give up their everyday modern life to live as people would have in 1900. Each week mouse would watch and imagine her being transported to the past. 

Yes, we can all safely agree that mouse certainly should have given Outlander far more a chance. 

It's also possible why mouse enjoys being at the Lake House. No TV, we usually bring our own movies, the internet is painfully slow or not working, cellphone connections are spotty. We have a landline so we can make phone calls on a real phone that hangs on the kitchen wall and no answering machine. Until we more recently got a clothes dryer, our clothing was hung outdoors. It's still preferred unless the weather is dicy. Clothes last longer dried that way.  Sure we have running water, electricity and most of the creature comforts. What we don't have, we honestly don't really miss all that much either. 

The main home has all the gadgets and are highly dependent on electricity. We have no room for a clothesline and it's against our HOA. Not sure why, but it seems odd considering we're just a block away from a rural road. Yet the rules specifically state no domestic farm animals, no clotheslines and no fences in front of the houses. The semi-rural area has changed a lot over the years, going from people riding horses, keeping chickens to people...well, not. The people with the space to keep horses, cows and chickens are nearly all gone now, having sold their land, leaving us to bear silent witness to those charming homes being knocked down and replaced by more houses, apartments, mini shopping areas...

It also begs to wonder if as people look to being more "green" and seem to care more about the planet, if small changes like clotheslines might make a comeback? 

As much as we enjoy our busy modern life, mouse still at times remained enthralled with the idea of living with far less. While she has no desire to abandon all the creature comforts this modern age provides, part of her wonders how it truly would have been. Naturally, she also accepts that today time travel to a bygone age is completely out of the question even if possible. To exist at time before penicillin or before Master's insulin is completely unthinkable. 

What about the people who do it today? There's a youtube community of people choosing to live their lives off grid. They produce content that also scratched mouse's itch, until she began to notice how well produced the videos were, with fancy introductions and some even have their own theme song. How do they upload those onto the web she wondered? How much time is spent editing? How do they even edit? Do they have someone who does it all for them? Some relative or friend who records the video and edits it at their home and later uploads it onto the web for them? In other words, these videos were not shot with a wiggly phone camera and just uploaded without any edits. 

So, where does this leave mouse? Stuck in the present, grateful for whatever she has! Or right back at the beginning, with maybe a better appreciation for the written word. All this daydreaming and time spent thinking how lovely it might be, has led her back to more basic way of living and cooking. One common thread that she only just realized thanks to Master, all these things involved a more organic (by organic she means natural) cooking and cleaning. Master suggested perhaps that's where the focus should be more about. Although the focus has been more on cooking from "scratch" but there's always room for more improvement. 

Day Dream Believer

Life is certainly odd. While doing the daily cleaning it suddenly occurred that she was lost in deep thought of Master. We had a wonderful morning, with everything clip-clopping along. During His morning oral service mouse took her time pleasuring Him, long strokes with her tongue and making brief moments of eye contact to let Him know that she was likely enjoying this as much as she hoped He was.  He did enjoy it. Together we exercised going through our workout paces (although His slave is much slower than He), He showered while mouse went off to warm His towel and make the morning pot of coffee. For that morning, she didn't feel the least bit of self consciousness wearing the thin robe as she cooked breakfast. The robe, while providing nice coverage so that nothing shows through,  clings to every curve. 

Breakfast moved along nicely without a single hiccup, and it wasn't until later that the slave stood in the bathroom polishing the mirror that she realized she was completely preoccupied with thoughts of Master. Dressed in her "uniform" mouse just moved through the day with a few extra chores. While being completely uncertain what would happen next, mouse took great comfort in knowing exactly what she'd be doing for the next quarter hour and each quarter hour that followed. With each movement the plug buried in her rear-end, made its presence known. 

It would be another hour before lunch and since she'd already checked with Master, who was working from home this day, to see if He needed anything. He didn't and that was slightly dismaying. Naturally, she understands that there are many ways of being useful to Him. Children were busy since Friday is cleaning day in preparation for our weekend, no "work" of any kind is done until Sunday. The homeschool schedule lends itself nicely to this four-day study arrangement. While Master said He's undecided to continue homeschool once the virus is controlled, He has noticed that the children are doing quite well with this arrangement. Also, they're far more helpful now around the home, often performing tasks they know should be completed without being told to do them. 

Moving through the chores the slave found her groove, prepping the evening meal with the kitchen bustling and music playing. In truth we have settled into a great routine and things are just humming along. It's been wonderful. It's been nearly a whole year since all this began and Master hasn't been busy for a long time now and honestly mouse has gotten used to calling on Him when she needs something at the top of the cabinet.  Now, work at last is picking up for Him. He's grateful for it and mouse is happy He's happy. Cocktails at 6, dinner at 7, in bed by 10:30 and up at 6, rinse and repeat. 

It was when delivering His lunch (turkey sandwich with lettuce, tomato, mustard, a little red onion, salad with cherry tomatoes, red onion, diced red pepper, field greens and homemade vinaigrette. Iced tea served in a tall collins glass with fresh mint and lemon slice) mouse noticed Him. Master was seated behind His desk reading a file, then leaned back, took off his reading glasses tossing them on top the open file and ran His fingers through His hair. Frustration? Anger? Probably the former, but since He tends to maintain a tight grip on His emotions, it's often hard to tell. Yet, mouse has seen that look maybe a million times (some of those actually directed at her) and each time she marvels at it. When He looks up, seeing her standing there, tray in hand, He always gives the same look, bashful with a slight smile, as though caught.

We discuss the meals, shopping and daily routines. It scratches all the service related itches the slave could possibly have, with benefits. Letting Him know that dinner will be on time, which chores are completed, and what's left to be done. Not sure He cares as much as He claims to, but mouse always informs Him.  Begging Him to enter the bed is another odd pleasure for the slave-wife. Reminding her that her position isn't just a given ordinary thing but rather dependent on Master. 

More open displays of her submission are far more frequent, not only because we're homebound, but because He also believes it's right. These aren't overt or bothersome but little things that feel very natural to us both, like mouse seated on the floor by His feet, or fetching His beverages. In bed, of course, there are times where Master will whisper to the slave that she will surely suffer tonight and takes her roughly as He pleases. It is usually painful and extremely hot. As much as mouse might protest or even beg Him to stop, telling Him it hurts, her body every single time betrays her and the orgasm is usually explosive. 

"Slave, tell me again how you did not enjoy it." He'll say with a grin afterward. The bruises left behind aren't bad, muscles ache but it always feels amazing the next day too. Damn Him. Naturally, she smiles and thanks Him. After, wrapped in His arms we talk a little about our day. Usually, we're so contented that sleep claims us both quickly.  

We'd like to say that weekends are different, but Friday begins much like every morning, with oral service, exercise, lots of cleaning, a good meal, early bedtime and lengthy sex. Saturday, no cleaning, no exercise, usually some sort of outing, like a drive or trip to a park (if we can social distance). In the evening, we watch a movie. Sunday mornings usually includes a fancy breakfast and big family style dinner. The week's meals are planned, shopping, errands and chores are all laid out for the upcoming week. 

Crossroads

Welcome to February!

We have settled into a pretty decent winter routine. It's surprising for us all and still not. We've been actively trying to limit our time spent staring at screens -- this includes TV. Oddly, we're also trying to use less, which seems to be our personal theme for Wintertime. it probably sounds a bit odd, but the point is not only conserve energy, but to also increase our family connection to the past and building a bridge to the future. 

Master wants learning to be a family activity, not just something that children do, to get an education, learning should be continual throughout your life. As always, Master wants to model good behaviors for our brood, so we're turning the clock back a little. We're not living without anything, but rather exploring ways to improve family our family connection. More time spent reading, writing and less time staring at screens. We brought back the family Saturday meal, which is more a formal affair, where we dress up, and spend hours eating and talking. Everyone can bring up a current event that interests them. Together we're certainly learning about new things. 

What We're Watching

Master splurged on a subscription to PBS Living, which gives us access to great cooking, travel, and home type stuff that we've been enjoying immensely. The cooking shows alone (lots of Julia Child), are worth the price. All the shows, Master enjoys the car shows and we both like Antiques Roadshow. It's a winner, since all the shows are fairly kid friendly. We're also doing an odd dive into shows that demonstrate (often by doing themselves) the difficulties of life long ago. While, as a child, mouse used to dream of living on a farm, waking at the crack of dawn to feed a milk a cow, living that lifestyle probably wouldn't suit her very much. Especially for women, it was very hard work. Who wants to spend a full week doing wash? Victorian Farm on Amazon Prime, scratched the itch nicely where a historian and archeologists tackle life as it used to be during the Victorian age. 

What We are Reading

Master has been reading more for fun, which is a bit unusual for Him. While mouse still reads smutty or bodice rippers on her kindle app, Master has been reading more mystery stories. Our local library, while mostly closed does allow for the taking out of books. You tell them what you want to read and they bundle them up and He picks them up. 

Games We Play

Each evening it seems, we are spending time together playing a game. Inspired by the Victorian Farm show, mouse dug out an old Christmas book that shows you how to make your own gift wrap, Christmas Crackers, and includes a chapter on games to play for parties. Games like Charades, and other guessing games have become a family staple, right along with a few board games, and of course puzzles. 

All these things, while a mostly snowless winter continues, have served us well and improved our family connection and interactions. There's a calmness over the house that's bursting with people, yet we're all getting along just fine. This is to contrast the previous summer and fall when everyone seemed to have their nerve stretched so thin that anything would set off a powder keg. 

A year ago, mouse was struggling with depression and while medications have been stopped for that, she needs to keep herself focused and mindful about her daily "feelings". Often there's no reason for feeling sad, nervous or whatever, but she has learned to accept it when it happens and go to Master. Not to have Him fix her feelings or even validate them, but so that He understands that mouse might go a little quiet, or seem to just be going through the motions of the day. Of course, if the feelings persist longer than a day or so or if they intensify, mouse can schedule a therapy appointment. 

That being said, there hasn't been any of that so far this winter (which traditionally is hard on many of us). Also, Master has stepped up a bit in His expectations where His slave is concerned, as we settle into a more service oriented life, where Master extends even more control over the slave's daily life. There is even less room for personal decision making and more emphasis on how He wants things done.  

Welcoming

 

Well, it's here. A new year is underway and so far it doesn't look too different from most of the previous year. We welcomed the new year with a tidy home. This time there was something almost sad about putting away the holiday and our New Year's Eve was quiet. Master gave a special blessing to our family, reminding us all how fortunate we were, the only disappointment was missed travel. We will continue to think of ourselves quite lucky. 

In the final post of 2020, keywords were lightly mentioned, including the process we used to get them. To mildly recap, we opened a dictionary and pointed to a page. To be fair, certain words were dismissed and it took us several tries (although "Service" was the first one and naturally just kept because it was completely appropriate). The other words were, Hope, Purpose and Connection. 

Funny enough we almost rejected connection, but then as we paused Master decided it should stay. We wrote the four words on sticky notes and arranged them on a mirror to remind us and to keep them in mind during our daily tasks. We did already have our first light argument of the year. Well, it wasn't much of an argument as a disagreement over a word choice. Master refers to the lake house as the lake cottage, while mouse calls it a house. Technically He's probably more correct, because the place is small, it's just something mouse never thought much about until now. That's what Master always does, He encourages mouse to broaden her thoughts and think differently about commonplace things. 

We are going through a bit of the winter doldrums, which is downright ironic since we will miss the short days and chilly nights beside the fire during the often oppressive heat of summertime. This year, going forward we will be doing things different, regardless if the pandemic slows to a crawl or not. Most of our meals will be at home, mouse will continue to perfect her cooking, baking and housekeeping skills, and remain mindful that she exists for Master's pleasure. One thing Master does wish mouse to explore more of, is cooking more from "scratch", which mouse finds a silly term that's basically meaningless today. The spirit means to not buy processed food in the form of canned or packaged foods. It makes a lot of sense for us too. Last summer mouse had gotten some gorgeous berries and made some jam, almost every few days and everyone loved it. The berries were so packed with flavor that very little sugar was needed to sweeten it. 

Well, that's enough of cooking and housekeeping, what's been going on in 'kinky town'? Not a whole lot, it is a matter of acceptance that we are in a deep well, not by our own making but as the situation has dictated. The situation is a home bursting with people. Master has often joked we just need a larger home, with separate wings, and our wing is soundproof. A case could be made for that but it isn't practical at this point. Laying on the sofa, with slave on top of Master, watching an old movie on television, we were constantly aware of people wandering in and out of the kitchen. A flash of light, sometimes the sound of fridge door, sometime and more often, a more glaring flip of a light switch. Rarely heard before entering and incredibly jarring. We have light-footed children it seems, well some are more light-stepped than others. One sounds like a herd of elephants coming down the stairs, while others move stealth-like. At the lake we usually get advance warning, as there are more floor creaks. In fact, at the lake the floors can make sounds when no one is walking at all, it's a bit unsettling late at night and alone. Roughly 120 steps from Master's home study/office, is the place where children do their daily school lessons.

Carving out private time is difficult but it hasn't affected our sex life, only the kinky side of things. Sex is as it's always been, sometimes rough and bitey, sometimes slow, often fast and intense, while other times tender and sweet. Maybe it just is what it is? The big question is that is does mouse miss the kinky stuff? Not exactly, because she wants whatever He wants, and right now, this is what Master is offering. Maybe we'll get back or not, whatever happens is up to Him. There's a quiet peacefulness that covers like a quilt. 

A Time For Peace

 

Yes, we did ponder to not bother with a year-end wrap-up, but an extraordinary year requires at least a few words of reflection.

What a wild ride 2020 has been, something akin to Mr Toad's Wild Ride in Disneyland, which has also been closed since what, March? At some point, we were all smacked by a train and felt like sentenced to hell. Well, that's how the ride goes. It is well and good that we should pause a little and maybe contemplate the good and bad the year has brought. We're safe at home and reflecting on all the changes that we've all be forced to endure. It hasn't been easy and for many it's been downright impossible. There's a bit of privilege that we have to acknowledge that allows us some of the comforts of home staying. Master can work from home, the children can learn from home, while we can't exclusively order groceries to be delivered we have the money to pay for them, unlike so many this season. So many are struggling under the yoke of this pandemic and for many in this country its a truly losing battle. Many trying and struggling to do the right thing only to have those opportunities slammed shut. 

We have witnessed people claiming this pandemic and illness it causes isn't a big deal, but when does anyone ever recall seeing refrigerator trucks being brought to hospital parking lots to house the dead until they can be buried? We volley back and forth between trying to do what's right, chaffing under the restorations and hoping for a better tomorrow. 

Quite naturally, in the middle of this writing the laptop being used decided it needed recharging, so mouse paused writing and hoped she'd be able to mentally pick up the threads of what she wanted to express. It was then it occurred to her the short pause was a benefit, since it gave offered a bit of time to collect the thoughts. This year has been odd for us all, as mentioned Mr Toad's Wild Ride (for those unfamiliar with the ride, here's a link). 

There have been moments, we played games with family miles from us via the internet, we cooked over Zoom, even shipped food overnight, with a video watch party invite. In some ways, almost oddly, we're more connected to family and friends because Master suggested we're putting in more effort into creative get together ideas. Ways we can be together, without physically being together. in that respect the pandemic has caused us to slow down and reevaluate what is truly important in our lives. The things we do miss, like movie theaters or taking our children to see the Nut Cracker Ballet, restaurants, walking around downtown and popping into a restaurant, Or the chaos of a busy morning, running behind and having to get the kids off to school. 

One thought that is somewhat perplexing, are we addicted to being busy? If anything this time has shown us that we probably are. We've also learned, oddly, that all that running around we used to do we spent a lot more money than we are now. While we did eat most meals at home, there were plenty of meals or even breakfasts out with the family, add to that cost, movie tickets and we'd drop a couple hundred bucks on a day of fun easily. If Master decides to take mouse out later that evening, or we host a fancy dinner at our home, and the price goes up. There's a rhythm of chaos, excitement, birthdays and other social gatherings that have all just stopped because of the virus. We've been forced, like many, to reevaluate what's truly important to us. 

This year has also brought to the surface and forced us bear witness to civil unrest, a real tempest brewing, as opposed to the fake outrage one finds frequently on social media, where privileged individuals complain endlessly about minutia when there are real problems others are facing, like discrimination and abject racism. Even Master has noticed an increase in the lack of tolerance and that disturbs Him. George Floyd, Breonna Taylor forced many to deal with inequalities, and we've also seen the swastikas spray-painted on Jewish cemeteries. Shouldn't we be beyond this? While we were satisfied with the election result in our country this past November, many were not. We have decided that we can't worry about that. We have to worry more locally, what our state representatives and county people are doing, to be better informed at our local level. To do better all around and help bring about positive change (at least we hope). 

Many people filled their time with home improvements, we weren't that ambitious, but did manage to do a few things around here. Birthdays were delivered by Amazon, and while it bothers us, there wasn't a lot we could do and in the drone of each day running into the next, Master forgot mouse's birthday all together. Yes, He made up for that. Just another sign that 2020 isn't a normal year. It's true many times we just wished we could fast forward through this, the worry would settle, what if we fast forwarded too far and discovered we're not here. That's a morose thought, isn't it? Going a bit beyond the middle age years makes you think that way. 

Looking ahead there is some light in the tunnel of darkness, a vaccine, which we are all grateful for, as that can certainly help end this madness or at least diminish much of fear surrounding it. 

It does lead us to an equally interesting question. What do we want 2021 to look like? 

Will we continue to stay home more or slowly let this odd time slip into the past and resume our old ways of doing everything? 

What lessons did we learn from this and do we want to carry those lessons into our future? 

As mouse looks out the large picture window and sees the cherry holiday lights on our neighbor's homes juxtaposed with the lifeless landscape, we can't help but to pause, reflect and perhaps, just let it all go. 

Master who is all about keywords, after discussion said we might choose three or four words to reflect what we want most for 2020, as something to focus on. Randomly we opened a dictionary and pointed to words on whatever page, it took several tries to get words that were appropriate (the word, Word was dismissed and others like that) The final words were: Purpose, Hope, Service, Connection. 

Maybe, going forward we'll incorporate those words into thoughtful posts in 2021. 

Happy Changes At Last!

Not sure the real title of this post, for now, we'll just call it sniping because that's what we're doing. Things got so bad, Master felt the need to punish the slave. Corner time in our room. It was difficult. It was also humbling. The larger point is that we're all under tremendous stress right now, as the pandemic rages on. Master is frustrated because He can't work (in a meaningful way at least), and mouse is frustrated from everyone being home and we're just climbing over each other lately. The punishment wasn't really a big deal but more a reminder that the slave was again failing in her purpose to serve. 

We put most of our family efforts into decorating the home for the holidays, now this is something that brings a lot of joy to the slave, but this time it just feels different. The house felt cluttered, boxes still not put away, things feeling out of place. Maybe it's us that feel out of place? It's been a long haul since mid-March when everything changed and yet things aren't that different. There's still no toilet paper on the shelves here in our corner of the globe. Paper towels are even more scarce, but we've been weaning ourselves off those (it's been a slow process that involves lots more laundry). 

While mouse still shops weekly at the supermarket (every other week is a far larger haul), trying to plan out baking and mailing gifts is the new challenge. That's all the normal stuff that everyone is probably going through to some degree or another -- and many more probably have it so much worse. On a more personal Master and slave level, we're languishing. Maybe that's not the right word, but there hasn't been a whole lot of trips to kinky town. We were just finding our footing when the pandemic hit earlier this year, the depression that had gripped the slave was finally diminishing into memory. We were optimistic about the year ahead. Still there hasn't been much sexy fun for us. Sure, mouse still wakes Him with her mouth, warms His towel, serves Him coffee, cooks Him breakfast. Noontime, mouse serves Him lunch in His study, sometimes He will bend her over His desk, making quick use of her holes and then returns to His day. 

Nighttime, after brushing her teeth and begging permission to enter the bed, He again pulls her close, and we take our time. He's more careful now to balance things. He has kept His word to express in a verbal way His feelings. In that regard things are great, but there's no screaming going on.  You know, sex screaming. No orgasms being ripped from her body, in fact precious few orgasms (which she understands she's got no right to anyway). Punishments are few and far between, which is probably a good thing, and speaks to her good behavior. Everything feels routine, rote, awful dull these days. 

Yes, Master did completely forget mouse's birthday, which honestly she didn't give a lot of thought herself until He went to bed and still had said nothing. 

But, she mused later, it is the perfect description of how our life is. Each day seemingly blending into the next, even weekends now hold little value to us. 

It led to a discussion between us one evening that stretched out to dawn. It began very light, but then slowly shifted to more serious, as the discussion morphed, Master took over and mouse listened to everything He said. He was feeling much the same way (a huge relief) and had a strong desire to forge a newer path. Master succinctly laid out His thoughts. While we can't control completely the others living in our home, He can take more control over His slave. He rifled through the closet and pulled out her skirt, and blouse and informed her she was back to wearing this with an apron, unless she had to venture to the market for groceries (then different clothing was allowed but He would pick it). No shoes inside the kitchen unless she was cold and then she could ask permission but she could consider first if being uncomfortable wasn't just part of her lot. 

Now, all this talk had an effect on mouse and she has to admit that it made her insides bubble and her clit pulsed as He spoke to the point where she felt distracted by it and struggled to maintain her focus on Master and His words. He noticed her odd disquiet, and paused the conversation. In that Master tone of His told her that she had 5 minutes to masturbate to better improve her focus on Him. The humiliation of that moment as she parted her legs and rubbed her clit which was flaming hot, stroking it, moving her fingers round and round, tapping it, rubbing harder until her body just writhed and released. 

"You took 6 minutes 42 seconds, slave." He said in a tisk-tisk tone. "How many seconds is that slave?" 

Now she just stared at Him, how could she math right now? He supplied the answer, 102 seconds and pulled her over His knee. New humiliation gripped her as He smacked her backside with His hand, and told her to count. Ever-so-often Master would pause, rub her between her legs, probing her inside parts with His fingers before continuing and mouse struggled to keep count (which she lost twice adding 10 more spanks each time to her total). With her head spinning He pulled her close to Him and held her for a long time as tears rolled down her cheeks. 

"Be a good slave and brush your teeth, ready for bed." 

When she returned in the nightgown He laid out He clucked that she was a sweet girl and watched as she knelt beside the bed to beg entrance. He lifted the nightgown and slid His full length into her ass and made her groan. He whispered into her ear to finger her clit and cunt while He ravaged her ass. Oh gosh when was the last time we did anything close to that?  Honestly mouse can't even remember except He made her watch her reflection in the large stand up mirror in the corner of the bedroom. He gripped her breasts until they turned deep red, as her body quivered. The orgasm was huge. His cock pumped its seed deep into her asshole and mouse squirted. 

This wasn't an one-off thing either. It's good to feel back to basics. 

 

Handle with Care

Been beat up and battered around

Been sent up, and I've been shot down

You're the best thing that I've ever found

Handle me with care -- The Traveling Wilburys

Time moves quickly as we age. Children often feel that time never moves, like mouse watching a clock on a Friday afternoon waiting for Master to come home. Each minute stretches out. You look at the clock, and it reads 5 minutes to 3pm and you wait and look again, certain at least 15 minutes have passed only to discover barely another minute has ticked by. Master has been back at the office, limited capacity but still for the most part working from home. Yet, each morning He wakes, exercises, showers, shaves, and dresses as though He's headed into the office. 

When asked, He explained He felt more inclined to work when dressed for business. 

It makes a lot of sense. Although, His slave who hasn't bothered with much of daily routines of putting on makeup, styling her hair, but has been dressed acceptably most of time. More often than not now, her uniform is jeans, a nice tee shirt, and the ever-present apron. Makeup and masks don't mix well which is the large part of the reason for this alteration. 

It has been such a struggle for everyone. This new normal we cannot really escape. We can only hope to look back on it and smile recalling the time we all stayed home for a year? What lessons have we learned from this experience? 

Our family communication is higher than ever. We spend far more time together watching movies, playing games, doing puzzles, of course, cooking, cleaning and all those things that go along with keeping a functioning home. Master and slave feel more connected than ever, and surprisingly, the slave feels grounded. That's despite the shuffling of the cleaning schedule, which used to be handled rather like clockwork now is far more flexible. For example, mouse cannot run the vacuum as often as she feels is needed for our home or even on a specific day or time, because our lives aren't centered that way. Children need a space to focus on studies and Master is working many days from His home. Extra noise is forbidden now, for good reason. 

Over the past several days, we dropped drown the "Big Little Lies" rabbit hole. If you're unaware, it's a miniseries that ran on HBO and was based on a novel of the same name, as it became incredibly popular they added a second series with the blessing of the book's author. It is one of those "women led" casts but the story is actually very good. That's really all we care about -- the story. 

It does deal with the heady topic of domestic violence, which was particularly triggering to the slave. 

It wasn't until last year, while recovering from surgery, that mouse began realizing how much damage the distant past had caused her. Nicely treading water until she just couldn't any longer. So much of the lines spoken by the character resonated with mouse and could be applied to childhood and early adulthood. Of course she didn't realize this was happening at the time, all the bad, awful and terrible things began to surface and left mouse feeling very broken and Master helpless, compounded with other issues sent her spiraling into a tailspin. Being trapped in survival mode, and not focused on anything else, isn't the same as dealing with the past trauma and extreme PTSD, the slave scarcely recognized were there. 

Intense therapy, medications and life changes followed, which helped mouse find peace with the past and even that continues to be a work in progress. There's far more gratefulness with the beginning of each day. grateful especially to Master for being a kind, patient guide. He lavishes praise on His slave that's embarrassing at times for her because she doesn't feel that much progress has been made, yet at the same time, she does see it. One thing is for certain, Master always and without fail, has her back. 

The mini series did help mouse put into words some of the things she'd had difficulty to express to Master. He listened and as always validated her feelings and encouraged her to speak with her therapist about it. Surprisingly she did just that. The game plan for now is for mouse to engage in more meditation to quiet the thoughts and focus on positive mantras or daily thoughts to help her along the way. 

“It's being here now that's important. There's no past and there's no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can't relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don't know if there is one.” 

― George Harrison