The Checklist

 

Do you find the act of checking off an accomplishment cathartic? Some people do, while others find it a waste of time. Some go so far as to check off "Get up" meaning they got out of bed in the morning. That feels like a bit much but if it works for you, who is mouse to argue? There are things however, that Master felt a list would be helpful for her to do. While writing exercise isn't an issue because she'd never forget that she does frequently forget to be gentle with herself and take a moment and meditate. When Master constructed a todo list for His slave, He took into account things she should be doing such as, household chores, which vary daily, shopping, errands, etc., He added the aforementioned meditation but more surprisingly He also added that she's to "Read for 10 minutes" that's a minimum requirement, reading longer is encouraged but He knows that she's busy. This is a reminder that all things are important and even taking the quiet moment to breathe deeply, arrange some flowers, or read for 10 minutes, have a purpose in mental health. As a slave, the day is organized a certain way, with a repeating theme while Master is away from the home. The slave is driven by her list in His absence, sure some things are easier like being allowed to run the day's errands or showering and things that are to be accomplished without His supervision. Meals are planned for with His guidance, and for now, honestly driven by what we can get on sale. We understand we're privileged afford good quality meats and produce. We aim for zero waste but it's not easy since children are fickle. 

When at Home, mouse is thoroughly tethered to Him, if she's cooking in the kitchen, she will frequently check in on Him to see if His glass needs refilling, or whatever He might need. The children are kept occupied with either studies, or helping prepare dinner. Their job is to set the table and help clean up after it. With all the complaining and bickering mouse often worries that we're nothing but a bunch of ungrateful females. Taking a moment to think about others has become a daily thing. 

The children are to do something for Him, something for mouse and something for another person (doesn't matter who) or what is done. Each night our daughter will ask if there is anything she can do to help mouse with dinner. Even if the answer is no, she will offer to do something small (like ask permission to make an appetizer) or to make dessert. Of course, this can also create more work for mouse, like getting a cutting board and veggies set up or passing her ingredients to make a dip and they've gotten very good at putting together a charcuterie board (not a huge thing, although mouse is pretty sure they could), but a small board with different types of nibbles for mostly their Father to enjoy. 

Kindness costs nothing, we keep seeing this message everywhere but, we still see so many being unkind. Master has, with that in mind, cut us all off from social media. There's too much smugness and self-righteousness in the world, He doesn't believe any of us need to be exposed to. In just a few weeks the attitude began lifting. Now, to be clear we are speaking of social media and influencers (regardless of where they stand on the political spectrum). This isn't to be confused with unaware, we read news articles from sources that we trust and teaching our children to parse the opinion from the facts. The current rule being if one doesn't know all the facts, one has no business spouting any opinion. Offer deference and move on with your day because those types aren't worth any effort. 

Sorry this so brief, mouse will return to discuss how the slavery side of things factors into this. 

Much love dear friends. 

So Far Away

Master came home in a mood, a meeting a rare face to face meeting hadn't gone as planned and Master had to travel. He wasn't thrilled about this but said very little about it. He didn't watch as mouse took out His case and began to pack for Him. He wouldn't be flying, instead He would make a long drive (thankfully, He really doesn't mind driving). His case was packed with the usual dress suit, a few extra shirts and ties, and casual clothing He would need for the trip. It seemed a lot of effort He would never consider for a meeting that would only last a few hours. 

That evening He had mouse on her knees on the chaise lounge and took her from behind, He reached the spot between her legs, and told her to rub her clit. His hand over hers as she rubbed it, while being rutted from behind was overwhelming. Permission was granted to orgasm and she cried as she came. Then He pushed her hand away and manipulated the tender clit until she came again as He exploded into her cunt, leaving her feeling marked by Him. When He noticed a few drops on the chaise, Master had her clean it by licking it up. 

The following morning He loaded His suitcase, told mouse to be a good girl. He looked over the lunch she had packed for Him to enjoy on the road and thanked her. No thanks was needed but she accepted it graciously. It was dark still when He departed and mouse watched until His taillights vanished before returning to the house which suddenly felt empty. He left no devices for her waste time with. The iPad, laptop remained locked but she had access to the phone which she carried with her so she was sure to not miss a text or call from Him. Master hadn't said He would call from the road but she was hopeful He would. 

Of course she wasn't alone, in a really empty house, instead the house was full of morning excitement that He was missing (and to be honest probably glad for it). By noontime, He had phoned and mouse felt better. He was making excellent time. It seemed almost silly but mouse felt such a pang of misery because He sounded happy and she was sad without Him. As mouse cleaned she thought (and she knows she's not supposed to do that) about how different she is now. How much Master has really changed her in the best of ways, her mind is so much settled, focus is greatly improved, of course He is the center of her universe. A cold chill ran down her spine, her mind went dark, and those horrible "what ifs" played in her head. Was this what death is like? 

It sounds silly but while it's not expressly forbidden Master prefers that mouse not pester Him a lot. If He has a meeting outside the home she isn't to bother Him. If He contacts her then it's fine, but not really the other way around. As mouse can attest, it's annoying to get a text message while driving. Still these thoughts wouldn't leave her and she fired off a text to Him that she more or less instantly regretted. He called a few minutes later. He was fine, and as we spoke she calmed down, only to ramp up the moment we got off the phone. 

Long after dinner He phoned again saying He had arrived and was settling into His hotel. He didn't regret in the least making this long drive. That evening mouse fell asleep hugging His pillow wearing nothing but one of His old tee-shirts and feeling silly while doing it. His meetings the following day went well. He could hear the stress in mouse's tone and assured her He was doing well. He led her through some breathing exercises and spoke gently to her. All that made her feel even worse. Reminding her how very broken she is without Him. 

Master returned home the following evening He carried with Him some truck-stop flowers and gifts for the kids. As mouse removed His shoes she cried a little from the joy of having Him home. Also that evening He allowed her to pleasure and love His body. In the morning we had a more difficult discussion. It was the if anything should happen to Him talk that mouse hates thinking about. Since mouse has been thoroughly tethered at least mentally, if not physically to Him -- there are things He doesn't want her to worry about. We should live in the moment and not worry about the future -- but trust that He's thoroughly planned for it. He made sure, once again that mouse knew where all the important papers are kept. The number of His attorney and everything else needed. He left instructions for everything. It's something every year or so He must remind mouse of and He will endure the choking sobs from His slave until He's finished. 

Master is never harsh about it. He knows it's something He must do for His own sanity, knowing how dependent the slave is on Him for practically everything. It's important to note, He wants her this way He loves her this way. As much as He needs to control her, He also needs to be pragmatic about His control. He held the slave as she cried and was soothing -- it was what she needed from Him. 

Undeterred Master quickly changed gears and reestablished His control over mouse when she was prattling on and on, a quick slap to her face reminded her that she was again property, her body was ruthlessly examined and was fucked soundly before enema that He administered personally (something He now does infrequently -- allowing mouse a teeny bit of agency). It's humiliating to endure, especially the end, with Him there. A big reminder that the only privacy mouse is allowed is because He allows the privacy. He went through the questions noting her discomfort about who owns her and the like. Reaffirming that He does own her made her body quiver. 

When He said rather casually that He does love her, she let out a sob and splintered into a million pieces that He rather calmly put back together. Then He showered with her and had her dress for the day. Master kept the day low key not wanting to put extra stress on her and watched her as she went about her chores. Even the ironing. Cooking the evening meal was extra wonderful because Master sharpened all the knives and cut up the vegetables, lifted the heavy dutch oven into and out of the oven and watched as the table was set (the kids handled that and the clean up after). Family movie night was a success and later we were back in the master bedroom, 

He watched as mouse undressed, brushed her teeth and went through the evening rituals, then had her wait on the floor, arms behind her back, waiting forehead pressed to the carpet until she heard Him approaching. The quiet swoosh of the flogger connecting with her backsides, caused her to jump but she didn't cry out. The good girl He clucked swelled within her as another blow fell followed by 5 others to redden her flesh but nothing to last. He did have her spread her legs wide and caught her pussy twice more, bringing tears to her eyes that fell silently. Then He moved her to the bed and fucked her ass. No lubricant, He knew it had to hurt and wanted her to suffer. Rarely mouse cums from anal, but that night, she most certainly did and it shocked, as much as it debased her. He deftly inserted a plug into her bottom and readied for bed, inviting her beside Him under the covers with her head close to this cock she worships and needs. 

Master mused that it was good for her to remember that cock is her Master (specifically His). Twice during the night she took it gently into her mouth and sucked the head. Not so much as to wake Him fully, just as an expression of her devotion to it and to Him. The second time, His body began to respond so mouse continued to lick and suck it, to her knowledge Master never woke but claimed to have had a really dirty dream (He mentioned it during His usual morning oral service). Feeling so very open and much like a vessel for Him to use as He feels fit, is the most exciting part of being a slave. It just deepens that connection to Him. 

Have We all Become Comfortably Numb?

 Hello? Is there anybody out there? Just nod if you can hear me, is there anyone home? 

Have we reached the point of complete apathy? Late February and early March brought some terrible news, our planet is is crisis (Covid might be just symptom), a country invaded. Master couldn't shield the slave from all the terrible news. He had to explain it. For once He simply lacked any words. He patted mouse's head and told her, "We can only do the best we can." 'Safe,' He reminded is a relative term. 

Our home, or rather Master's Home is His sanctuary or used to be, but that was before He was home all the time. He struggles now, silently, at first enjoying the free time to read whatever He wished. Then He began taking on a small project (something fun to work on He explained), which led to another. His semi-retired self isn't so semi retired now. He took on a bigger project. Nothing He can't handle, but very time consuming. The book He had started reading was abandoned because He doesn't have time for fun. Master is who He is. When we'd summer at the lake, He would need to pull himself from work. He'd work so hard in preparation to take that much time off and work just as hard when He returned to it two months later (really it was about 5 or 6 weeks but it was supposed to be two months). He just couldn't unplug from it for that long. Still, very much like this pattern, He eased into lake life, eventually forgetting to constantly check His phone (probably because also cell service is spotty), relaxed, lived nicely in those moments before restlessness kicked in and He found Himself, once again looking at His phone. 

How does sanctuary evolve into just another space? For Him, it's been difficult to transition to working exclusively from home. Not that an office away is an answer, it seems many people found working from their homes to be more productive. Maybe they'll eventually suffer a similar burnout? For parents with youngish children, mouse can certainly empathize with that. Once children reach a certain age they can (more or less) be ok to fend for themselves on a sick day -- providing they're not *that* sick. A parent working from home can certainly have greater flexibility with schools and young children. That's never been anything Master has needed to concern Himself with. This isn't to suggest He can't step up when He needs to and has many times. 

The apathy though is harder to shake. Still, we try. Master, just a few evenings ago, shook things up a little, in the privacy of His space, He called slave to Him and had her pleasure Him as He watched an old movie. He thoroughly controlled all her action, mostly nonverbally, slowing her down with a tug of her hair, applying pressure to one side her head or sending her deeper down His shaft. Time seemed to stretch out, not that mouse was bored, but rather obsessed with being pleasing to Him. Was He happy? Did He enjoy it when she swirled her tongue a certain way more than another way? The clues were absent but this was a marathon not a sprint. He controlled her, then had her pause and tossed her the bolster pillow on the chaise, and said to hump that as she sucked him. Cock deep in mouth mouse awkwardly rocked on that pillow, never having it quite hit that one spot. The clit just throbbed with want as she tried to focus on His pleasure but found herself constantly losing the battle. 

After what seemed to be forever, Master finally concluded sending a nice stream of cum down her opened throat, then held her fast and a second stream, followed. He asked if she had orgasmed at any point, and she truthfully answered that she hadn't. He extended His leg and told her to hump that until she came. He returned His attention to film on TV and ignored the slave humping away on His leg, as her face just burned with humiliation. 

Yes, orgasm happened but it took a bit, then of course, she had clean His leg, hands are forbidden so...Once again her mouth was useful. Sated, she remained close to Him, almost afraid to move. Once again that invisible chain bound her to Him and the rattle was loud in her head. 

The night that followed was nearly a repeat, except when the pillow brought her no pleasure He said nothing, just returned His attention to whatever sports event was on the TV. Yet, maybe hopeful, maybe just tired herself, mouse remained close to Master, her head resting on His knee, until He suggested that she go into the other room to read and unlocked her iPad. Still on her knees she took the device and thanked Him. 

It's strange how protocols evolve. Thanking Him is rote (yes He also says the words Thank you frequently but never following something He believes is His right) and often she can't help but to gush over Him with words of love. However the latest protocol seems to be when the slave is dismissed she doesn't simply rise and walk away. but rather she rises, thanks Him again and takes a few steps backward before turning (putting on the bathrobe) and then leaving the room. 

Eventually Master did poke His out of the room and said He was going to bed, this was a signal for mouse to stop what she was reading and join Him but she was nearly at the end and really wanted to finish the last few pages. Well the end was a bit further than she realized and she while she did finish the story nearly an hour had passed and Master was fast asleep. Not having His permission to enter the bed, mouse went to the "bad girl" spot and curled up there as best she could. Quietly snuffling because she was foolish, mouse eventually fell into a troubled sleep. In the morning she woke before Master and rushed to ready herself, make the coffee, fix His breakfast and served Him in bed. Yes blatant attempt to make amends for the wrong she had done. 

The guilt because she had missed the chance to give Master a proper goodnight, because she was selfish was a bit overwhelming for her. When had that begun? Before she would have simply accepted that sleeping on the cold floor in the bad girl spot was her punishment -- now she needed His forgiveness or punishment to feel complete. He might have just enjoyed the extra showering of attention He received because He never said a word about it. He might have even punished mouse on that evening when she again found herself on her knees pleasing Him with her mouth, the only absent was the pillow.  Of course that could have been in her head. 

When He again unlocked the iPad and handed it to her, but this time she stayed put and looked for a new book to read then made note of them to ask Him to take a look to approve. When it was time for bed, she closed it at once and followed Him into the bathroom and at the bed, she knelt and begged permission to enter. It felt wonderful being near Him in bed, not feeling so very exiled and yet not fully contented.  

*Note from Omega -- Mouse is frustrated with me. As I read her account, I simply scheduled it for publishing (note: we routinely do this in the event she wishes to add or take away from a post, then it returns to me for approval and so on until it is published or discarded). No comment was or is forthcoming about her feelings of 'exile' or remorse. This journal's purpose is for mouse to voice her views on her slavery and I feel no such compulsion to clarify further. 

Letting it Go

It’s been a weird stretch, hasn’t it? Are we really at the end? The Magic 8 Ball says to "Ask Again Later." Maybe that silly ball is smarter than everyone? Spring is in the air, sort of, at least mouse is ready for it. There's been this district lethargy of late, we've all felt it since the end of the holidays. Maybe it's just been the pandemic wearing us down to a nub? Everything feels untidy and disorganized, even if technically it's not. In January mouse hit a wall where cooking was concerned. Everything felt like "this again?" We spent a week or two with simple meals or big meals that provided too many left overs, so the weeks cooking became a queue for the microwave. The breakfast/lunch table became a hub of things that needed putting away and the dining table became the place an overly ambitious project was started when our weather turned bad, but the poor weather didn't last long enough to complete it. Little by little when the weather is poor, or mouse finds herself with nothing else to do (which is incredibly rare) a bit is tackled and then abandoned. The thought was that even a little progress is progress however, that was simply a lie she told herself. 

Now, it's been weeks and mouse is tired of it, so after spending Sunday sorting through a lot of it, mouse put all away. At least, it's partially organized so it can easily be started again. At least now, the dining room table is cleared off and can be utilized again. So, where have been we been eating? Mostly on the fly, as mouse mentioned the queue forming for the microwave, everyone has been eating more of less on their own schedule. The next step was to clear off the breakfast table and other dumping grounds and then she devilishly set the table so it couldn't be re-cluttered up. 

The Little Things We Used To Do

Remember those things? One evening mouse began looking through the blog and recalling that she used to make scones, now to be sure it's been a while since mouse last made those. It was so easy, just make the dough and freeze it, defrost it overnight in the fridge and bake. Add a little homemade jam, and it's a wonderful thing. Yes, making homemade jam...is another of those things. Not the kind where you have a crate of fruit and spend hours canning (although you can) but this is just made as needed, couple cups of fresh berries (whatever look and taste good -- we like assorted berries. As they begin to cook down, add a little cinnamon, lemon (zest or juice or why not both?) and whatever else. Add the sugar (or honey) if you feel it needs it, this time of year the berries tend to be a bit tart. 

Pre-pandemic from around March until November, mouse would schlepp herself to the farmers market nearly every week for fresh fruits, vegetables, eggs and cheese. Then when lockdown occurred, the market was shuttered and honestly mouse forgot all about it. Since the grocery store prices have been unbelievable lately, mouse decided to check out the farmers market scene again. Can't say that mouse was impressed with the prices there, maybe a little better on some items but far worse than others and quality in general better than the grocer, not so great that it justified the extra money. Food wise mouse has settled into a rut of pasta bakes, which aren't the most healthy things even if you try to healthy them up by using a wheat pasta...it's still pasta. There's been a lot of apathy and lack of interest in daily cooking. Adding to that the high prices and lack of inspiration it's been a huge struggle. Is that how we're going to divide our lives, pre and post pandemic? Like when Grandma used to talk about before the depression. Not sure if this that kind of life altering event, but it sure feels like it. 

Whatever it's time to shake off that apathetic mouse and return to a more cohesive business as usual. 

We'll see how that goes for us. 

It Goes to Show, You Don't Ever Know

 

Since it cost a lot to win 

And even more to lose

You and me bound to spend some time

Wondering what to choose -- Deal; Robert Hunter, Jerry Garcia 

It was warm today, like short sleeve warm. Just stealing a few moments as mouse sits looking out the picture window into the bleak winter backyard. During the winter months we can see clear to the other side of the canyon and creek beyond it. During the remaining months, which amounts to most of them, the view is only trees teeming with wildlife, squirrels, rabbits, possums, raccoons all find their way into our yard, birds fill the trees, crows caw and even the pair of ravens with the gravely tones. We see owls when the weather is decent, hawks and even eagles. 

The house is loud today, not with music but with the sounds of disgruntled people who are angry about chores. While we try to remind them, we need to be kind to each other, as we are all we have...Well, as they say in the car commercials "Your mileage may vary." Off they go ago, on to the next squabble. 

Don't misunderstand there are moments where they cooperate, even are helpful so we suppose that hope springs eternal. At least that's what we would think, once the shock wore off. This morning was typical, the alarm woke Master and He pulled mouse's head to His cock for some morning attention, we showered together, Master having slave hold her arms above her head most of the time as He inspected and washed her body, He turned the water to cold, as He exited to give mouse the opportunity to wash her hair. Warm water is His privilege that He shares often with His slave, as are showers. Drying off with His discarded damp towel mouse hurries to get ahead of Him, pulling on her bathrobe and quickly brushing her teeth, before heading to the kitchen to rattle those pots and pans. 

We grind our coffee beans, recently switched to a crank machine (yes coffee we determined is too important) loading into the french press. We've had power issues in the past, but the gas range can be lit with a match if needed. This morning the breakfast consisted of eggs, oatmeal and fresh fruit (oranges, apples, banana and blueberries). Honestly, these past couple years, mouse has gotten pretty darn good at wielding a knife and the fruit is cut up in no time at all. Likewise the oatmeal is done, that gets some dried fruits, nuts and seeds. One child takes all the fruit and dumps it into the bowl with the oatmeal and other just likes the nuts and eats the fruit on the side. Everyone gets a cup of fruit, growing kids get oatmeal (and often slave) Master gets an omelet, usually with cheese and whatever meat is left over. He's really not very picky. Everyone sits together at the breakfast table (that's a rule). The day is discussed, chores divvied up, arguments thwarted (about the aforementioned chores) and then after thanking mouse for breakfast, they depart to begin their day. Master remains and He goes over the agenda for mouse. 

While mouse was just about to write that there's not been very much BDSMy fun of late, that just isn't true, since every moment of mouse's day is dictated by Him. From start to finish, what is done, when and even how is outlined by Him. Now, this isn't as daunting as it seems. The tasks are more or less rote. One thing mouse must do daily is get at least 30 minutes of exercise. That began as outdoor walks with Master and when the weather turned miserable, changed to mouse just walking on the treadmill.

It helps to clear her head and help her to concentrate, and as a bonus she can watch something on Netflix as she exercises.Mental health wise, mouse has been much better. The world infringes on our home more than we'd like. We added a resolution that we're going to try to waste less food. The most expensive food is the one you throw away, so we're trying to buy only what we'll use. Nighttime, we watch a little, very little TV, usually something kid friendly at least somewhat (they're growing up). After they go to bed, Master and slave retreat to our room, and mouse undresses and prepares to be useful to Him. Master might discuss issues that mouse needs to keep working on and might punish her if truly needed. 

Most evenings He will watch something on TV in our room, or work in His study. If He's working mouse remains in the family room within earshot if He needs something. In our bedroom, mouse undresses and remains nude and will wait to be useful to Him or whatever else He needs. If semi-retired means working less, then mouse doesn't see the point but He's thrilled with this. The pandemic is unending and we're just doing what we need to do to keep ourselves safe. If that means hiding in our cave for a while we'll gladly do this. 

We hope everyone is healthy and doing well.  

Welcoming 2022

Let's just hope that this year is even better than last year. Ok, last year wasn't so very terrible. So, looking ahead to this year and the hope. 

Home will be a keyword this year. Master is semi-retired, our children are homeschooling until at least September of this year (we'll decide mid year if they're returning to a regular school) and mouse is just plugging (ha) along. Master will continue to control mouse and guide her in all things. 

Last year, mouse was guardedly optimistic about what '21 would bring, but also unsettled. This time, she's not nearly as unsettled and feeling more contented in that "we got this," sort of way. Yes, the new variant is unsettling (not completely unexpected though), but so far, we what we do know is that masks work. We live in a mixed bag area where masking, while the state says it is required, however, largely unenforced, so Master secured a supply of better quality masks. Masking is only effective if everyone does it but a better quality mask can mitigate some of that. That said, we'll continue to occasionally ordering take out and probably not resuming dining outside the home. Until at least we learn more about this new variant. We did, out of an abundance of caution choose to not attend a few parties, and cancelled our Nutcracker plans (pre pandemic it was a highlight of our holiday season taking the children to see The Nutcracker Ballet and later it was officially cancelled). We also cancelled (this was far more reluctant) our Christmas Eve party we had planned. Turned out everyone was feeling very similar anyway so it wasn't a big deal. We did have some neighbors over, as they decided at the last moment to not travel to visit family themselves and were alone (they are fully vaccinated, boosted and work from home). 

It wasn't the celebration we had planned but it was fun. New Years Eve found us remotely catching up with family, we shipped goodies and organized a watch party of the Charlie Chaplin Classic The Gold Rush. 

Again, not the New Year we planned for, which was to include a night's stay at a fancy hotel. We can live without that. We cannot fathom existing without each other. 

Not too much kinky fun but rest assured Master is keeping mouse in line. 

We Blinked

 Life just often catches you off guard. Minutes, turn to hours, those hours to days, the days to weeks...

So it goes. 

You blink one day and realize that months have passed, in our case, half a year. That last draft post that was begun (and later abandoned) in early October, rife with apologies for going so very quiet and writing of our first family vacation in a very long time. There was nothing 'new' to report. No, thrilling blog-worthy sex to speak of (nothing that hasn't been spoken of a million times already), and it's not as though that we've become bored with this space, that said, the moments where mouse thought, "ooh, this should be a blog post," have long diminished. 

As mentioned we did finally take a family vacation. As mentioned on Twitter, we gathered for Thanksgiving and that was so successful we continued celebrating through Chanukah with several family members opting to stay with us. We found the action of making room for the extended family members for a longer holiday, a blessing. After, we decked the halls and trimmed a tree.  Our spirits are bright. 

So why now after months of silence to finally post? A couple we're well acquainted with stopped by one afternoon, they're Master and slave as we are, except since they have no children they are able to enjoy a far deeper relationship dynamic. Obviously while they isolate themselves from the world (much as we do) the slave isn't allowed to leave ever without permission, has no access to clothing, and is basically kept nude save for the collar that is never removed (a lovely piece by the way). In many ways, despite being so different, their lives mirror our own. 

We too, rely on protocol and mouse, while having access to a car, cell phone, and clothing, doesn't have the autonomy to use those things without approval of Master. He no longer decides daily what she will wear, but does check each piece of clothing to make certain it is appropriate and not too worn. Master allows mouse to wear jeans to do chores, but also maintains the caveat that in His presence she must be presentable. This means, to Him, she be dressed with her holes open to Him. If He wishes to bend her over His desk, her skirt must flop over her back, with nothing hindering His access. He has also returned to making her wear the large glass plug that protrudes to keep her from sitting when she could be doing other things.  

To contrast the other couple, the slave is kept tethered at all times and never allowed to sit on furniture, she is instead kept on her knees all the time and takes her meals from a dish on the floor. Master has done these things with mouse and honestly they're all humbling as they are sexy but He's not not interested in maintaining that forever. He's been there and done that (He says) and likes the more relaxed way our life is today. 

Yet, this couple came to visit (yes the slave was fully clothed) and we welcomed them into our home. Unexpected guests are often a challenge and mouse straight away prepared a small platter of cheeses, crackers, olives -- essentially whatever could be found in the refrigerator and pantry -- along with small plates, napkins, forks and whatever else she felt appropriate. We caught up a little (well the Men spoke and we listened), then they adjourned to sample some scotch Master has, leaving the slaves alone to speak a little. 

Permission was given to speak by our Owners but our silence was awkward -- what to say? Speak of weather? General things? Our lives aren't that distant. Suddenly words came bubbling out in a hushed tone about the importance of waiting and following commands. We commiserated around the kitchen table, while mouse made pot of tea. No children were in the home, so we spoke somewhat freely. 

At first, mouse felt a teeny bit unsettled the old paranoia setting in that maybe she was brought here to discuss a failing on mouse's part? Was mouse not being useful enough to Master? Had He said something to His friend? As much as mouse wanted to quiet her insecurities they came forth regardless but not in an audible way.

"We don't see things as they are, we see them how we are" --Anais Nin (Master also says that phrase in the Talmud but since mouse knows little about that, she takes His word on it). Yet, the point is valid because everything is filtered through the lens of what we know, rather than how it is.While we spoke, the other slave and mouse, we were speaking of ourselves and what we struggle with at times. One thing was clear, the visiting slave felt that mouse has too much freedom. This wasn't suggested in a mean-spirited way or even in a 'our life is a more pure slavery than your life is,' it was subtle and matter-of-fact that the other slave wouldn't like the freedom that mouse has. A long silence remained when mouse asked -- how much freedom should a slave have? The obvious answer is only: however much or little the Owner desires.

After a maybe couple hours we parted ways with smiles, and mouse was left to reflect on the visit. Their dynamic, while being different and borders on things that mouse wouldn't like, if Master required those things of her, would she? Yet, there are things in our dynamic that others might find interesting on a certain level but would never want such things for themselves, but maybe would go along with if their partner demanded it? Should slavery be egalitarian, insofar as everyone agreeing all the terms and conditions? Initially, in our dynamic, Master gave mouse great leeway and what He considered input on how her slavery looked before taking those options away and directing instead how her slavery to Him would be. With that in mind, she's miles away from her slavery to Master would be. The slave she is today is because only Master wishes her to be this way. Whatever she has or doesn't is mostly because He wants it this way. Over the years, she has learned to beg for things she'd like and if He agrees He will indulge her (He demands now to be clued in on such matters). 

We are really seemingly light years from where we began, our children are growing up almost too quickly and there is often a distinct pull to try to slow things down, make those moments stretch. In the last post, mouse mentioned that Master was traveling more. That all abruptly ended mid-summer when the cases and numbers began to steadily rise again and cities decided to mitigate (the smart places did this) with masks, limiting capacity, etc. 

Now, once again, the holiday season is upon us, with vaccination we are gathering more freely than last year and so far we aren't too concerned about the new variant, Omicron. Work for Him as returned to mostly remote, so He's spending much more time at home, and that doesn't bother mouse in the least, except when she needs to run the vacuum.We have our routines. 

We will be back! We aren't quite finished with this blog yet.