Welcome Back

Did you miss us? Cannot express how often mouse wanted to blog about something or other. So many wonderful things happened this summer. Daddy and mouse remain very bonded. In the past, Daddy would leave us and return to work, this summer we remained together the whole term. We've been back since August, but we became quickly immersed in the back-to-school things that must be accomplished.

Daddy finished work and came home, we had a few days before school let out for the summer to figure out what we really needed to bring. Surprisingly enough, aside from clothing there wasn't much else that wasn't already at the summer house. Last year, we left behind some toys kid things there -- swimming gear and things like that.

Once all that was sorted and school ended, we headed out. Driving straight through, we arrived -- he snoozed briefly at rest stops and rather stubbornly refused to let mouse drive -- on Saturday in the afternoon. Daddy went to sleep and left mouse to the finer details of unpacking and getting things settled. The house was ready for us thanks to the cleaning service Daddy hired. So while he snoozed after the long journey, mouse grabbed the keys and took the kids to town to shop for food we needed. We brought along some foods, but still there's always the perishable things to buy. Daddy was still sleeping when we all returned.

Filling a vase with water for the flowers mouse picked, hydrangeas were in full bloom, Daddy slipped his hands around her waist. With her hair up, he was able to nuzzle her neck sending shivers. Raspberry lemonade was already chilling in the fridge, and sun tea outside was doing sun-tea things. He was so happy mouse already shopped. The thought of getting into the car again just held no appeal. In fact, he didn't drive for a week.

Within a few weeks we had our home so filled with friends and family that mouse was convinced the screen door would fall off the hinges from being slammed repeatedly. We had a fire pit and cooked s'mores at night. In the early morning hours Daddy would go fishing after spending time tormenting mouse. There was down time for mouse, too, hours she spent in the shady spot in an Adirondack chair. Other times mouse served Daddy without care or worry about what anyone thought.

At nighttime, after spending hours watching the stars twinkle in the sky, listening to the chirp of crickets and croak of the frogs, or listening to the distant roll of thunder, we came together in our room. We carried candles into the dark room, and he watched as she readied for him. Like at home mouse begged permission to enter the bed. He would position mouse in whatever way gave him pleasure, with mouse bending to his whim.

Daddy always takes many things into consideration before he marks his property. He also takes into consideration proximity to others, so heavy play was put off for those few times we found ourselves alone. He often forbid mouse from speaking and it grew nice to be free of words, so much so, when someone did ask a question often mouse just stared for a moment and processed mentally.

The mindfulness that had eluded mouse in recent months returned with a calmness that filled her heart. For a few hours a day, Daddy encouraged mouse the absolute luxury of writing in her journal. Pages and pages pouring out thoughts that just tumbled out even when she felt nothing would come. Sitting in the spot under the shady breeze, one thought came followed quickly by another. Here, all the while mouse felt her head was empty.

One thing, rather odd for mouse, was an odd dream that seemed to have stuck with her. In the dream Daddy was quite terse with mouse and upset. He broght mouse into a room that rather resembled his study at home, but wasn't. In the dream we were very clearly at the summer place. Daddy told mouse to lower her shorts and stand in the corner. He will do that at times, but usually mouse is wearing a skirt or dress. In the dream one of Daddy's uncles entered the room, saw mouse and said something to Daddy. Not about mouse but something completely unrelated to her predicament. As though it were perfectly natural or even expected. They acted as though it was all perfectly reasonable or maybe expected? Or maybe like being invisible or nonexistent?

When mouse woke, her face was hot, tears pooling in her eyes and her nose was stinging. It took several minutes to calm herself and sleep just wouldn't return. It took several more days for mouse to approach Daddy and recount the dream, which he explained as mouse's subconscious wishing to be freed of constraints. He pondered for several minutes and asked, if slavery felt like a weight, an unseen ball and chain that mouse had to carry?

"Yes!" it does feel often very much like that. A dark secret that no one understand or can even know about.

"I understand."