Feeling Adrift

While away Master arranged for our housekeeper to begin the process to ready the house for Passover, which is at least to mouse a horrible process of cleaning from top to bottom removing every speck of dust and possible crumb from every carpet fiber in the house using only a candle for light and a pair of tweezers. Ok, that last bit was bit of hyperbole, but you probably get the idea that it's an intense process. 

It isn't easy this year for any of us. Especially for Master (and our whole family), so that's why mouse is going the extra mile even though we aren't hosting, but it's hard since mouse isn't Jewish and wasn't raised with this idea. Now more than any year, mouse feels adrift and wishing she'd kept notes on what to do and when. it's the realization how heavily she relied on her mother-in-law for guidance.

As though he saw mouse breaking down, Master stopped the obsessing mouse was doing and told her to relax. He even sent her to bed early one night. He said we'll get there slowly. Just like that mouse felt him pull her back to where he is. He said he should have asked one of his sister in laws to send over a guid of sorts but really that was mouse's fault (although he didn't blame her). There was this arrogance she felt that she could just do this. It'll be easy she thought -- she's done it before, but that was always with the guidance of his mother and never fully on her own. Sure there are resources like books and youtube videos, but getting advice from someone who's done it many time is different. There are plenty of videos but few go into any meaningful detail. Most focus on the spiritual connection they feel with the holiday, which isn't wrong except that mouse needs details.