Leave a Message with the Rain

Thursday night, as she has many times before, stood in Master's study awaiting absolution from the misdeeds and errors. In those moments, she realized that she was far more better off than even a year ago. After years of fighting against what she needed and her mind in conflict with what she felt she should have, suddenly the stillness was unsettling. The moments where she wanted to run, scream and cry were suddenly released. Master carefully walked through the past week of demerits as mouse focused on his words to her. There was continued growth, but there were also areas of stagnation. "Hesitations," he called them and for those mouse would suffer punishment. 

"Who is your Master, slave? Who commands you in all things?" Master questioned.  

Of course, mouse replied that he owns and commands mouse. Twice over the that week mouse had lashed out verbally to Master over something honestly trivial. Several times when he told her to get something, she paused instead of acting and during the week had a rare early-week strapping. He understood the internal struggle she was going through before and more timely reminders are required so there's no backsliding. The punishment she received was far harsher, the strap stung of course, but after he removed himself from her for a day and that was worse.  Master barely spoke to her, refused to let her touch him and refrained from using her sexually or at least in a way that mutually gratifying.

Now, inside the study, mouse was afraid, not of him or his authority but if she had again failed horribly and that he would reject her again. Inwardly as he spoke, she silently begged for physical punishment. Anything was better than not allowing the closeness she craved, and had given herself away the tell was completely revealed to him now. When he asked if mouse recalled why precisely she was punished on Tuesday mouse told him that she had lost control of herself and her emotions and lashed out angrily at him, adding quickly that was truly sorry again for it.

It had been stupid and completely unwarranted. He asked about something and mouse, having already told and explained it twice before blew up at him. Wasn't he listening? Wasn't he paying attention? Isn't that his thing to pay attention to every detail? He wasn't angry that she challenged him, he was upset at the volume of venom that came with it. Had she handled it differently and used her grownup words, not the ones of a petulant child that feels defensive; the punishment might have waited or been not warranted at all.   

He quickly slapped her face to stop the trade, then took her upstairs bent her over the bed and took off his belt. No ritual of kissing the strap, no counting the blows, no discussion - just the strap on her bare bottom. That evening at bed, she knelt beside the bed and begged to enter it. He said nothing in reply, so she took a blanket we keep on the chair and slept on the floor. In the morning he rejected the oral service, but did urinate on her in the shower. The only words spoken that morning was that she could use shampoo and take a cold shower.

He left for work that morning and did kiss her cheek, as is the custom, but said nothing else. No messages were sent from him throughout the day. Wednesday evening he returned home, ate his meal, spoke to the children and went to the study to work. That evening again mouse knelt by the bed and again begged to enter it, and he said to enter it but kept to his side of the bed and Thursday morning, he didn't refuse his oral service.

Now, here was mouse awaiting punishment for everything else she'd done wrong, the hesitations. He spent time catching up on how her meditations were going, which until recently were much better. He said he understood and then had her bend over his desk. His hand touched her bottom, then felt the sting of his hand against her skin, after he had her stand in the corner with the dress hiked up exposing her bottom. The humiliation she felt was great and quietly as possible she cried. Not only had she let him down again, but herself too by failing in her slavery.

When he felt enough time had passed her had mouse kneel before him. and he spoke rather candidly about his disappointment and felt mouse was better than this. The weight of letting him down felt heavy. He had mouse remain close to him the rest of the evening until it was time to ready for bed. He used her body then, taking her from behind. After granting permission to enter the bed, he wrapped his body around his possession, and whispered gently into her ear, asking what was going on inside her head. Words tumbled out about her fear and regret over her recent behavior and then begged him to help her.

Friday morning, mouse woke, pleasured Master with her mouth and tried extra hard to be pleasing for him, warming his towel in the dryer, being extra attentive to his needs. As he shaved he asked mouse to kneel in a way he finds very pleasing, with her head down on the carpet and arms outstretched with her bottom lifted upward. He calls this the second position. He said that breakfast could wait a few minutes  and told her to listen carefully to what he said.

"You are compensating for the punishment last night. This is no longer acceptable behavior, your slavery should be natural and not a way to gain my favor."

Then he walked into the closet, took out the large plug, added some lube and inserted into mouse's bottom. He then used the cane on her thighs causing fresh tears to fall. He handed mouse her bathrobe and told her to prepare breakfast for our family, who would all be up soon. After asking to splash water on her face, mouse hurried downstairs. Breakfast was hurried and slightly late. When everyone was gone, mouse pondered about the punishment. He was right, mouse was trying too hard.

He wants her slavery to be as natural and as pleasing as the breaths she takes, not something she's got to work at or try hard to achieve. During that Friday as she cleaned the house, prepared the meal for Shabbat and ran her errands, she found herself going back over what she did and recalled the last thing she'd spoken to Master before falling asleep the previous night, she had asked for his help.

Suddenly she felt lucky to have such a man in her life. Children arrived home from school and slowly the house came back to life as the table was set, candles laid out, the match to light them, beside the metal dish for the match. Master got home, quickly showered, inspected his shoes (the children are supposed to polish them on Friday's). Soon it was time, the prayers spoken, children blessed and the meal was eaten with the candles left to burn down. For the next 25 hours mouse remained attentive but quiet and made herself available for Master's use. Sunday we went to an outdoor market then to a museum, which was having an exhibit Master was interpreted in.

Sunday evening after the kids were in bed and observed mouse's Monday morning prep, he led her upstairs and watched as she shaved, filled the enema. Master inserted the tip and controlled the water flow, then watched mouse squirm until he gave the command to empty her bowels. After he inserted the medium plug and toyed with her. He impaled her with his sex, penetrating her deep and making her gasp. He jostled the tits that hung free with weights attached to the nipple rings and thoroughly used her for his pleasure. He allowed an orgasm for mouse that evening. A reward for her honest behavior, which hit mouse like a wave and she shook and trembled. After as she licked and kissed Master's body she thanked him profusely for the pleasure of that orgasm. He was pleased, taking out a favorite vibe that he used it on mouse bringing more orgasms until it turned into this blend of sweet torture and left mouse a mentally vacant mess. That night mouse fell asleep with Master's cock in her mouth. As usual, at some point during the night it falls out, but she usually remains close to it throughout the night, which makes Master's morning service even more pleasing.  

The Monday that followed was surprisingly easy, despite the grumpy children. There were no extra corrections needed during the following week, and mouse seemed to find her stride. The mindful meditation had returned to her, as her mind quieted again. It was during this time that mouse noticed the difference between the pleasure of service and the service done to score a point or three. That Thursday back once again in Master's study mouse spoke freely about that and told him she was happy that he brought it her attention, but at the same time wasn't sure what she could do to change that behavior. Together Master and slave spent a little time brainstorming on ways for mouse to understand those moments and recognize them when they occur.

After all this, mouse is happy to report there were no demerits (practically unheard of). Master did remind mouse that over the next several weeks he will be increasingly distant as he gears up for his summer break from work. He reminded mouse to be patient during this time -- and most importantly to use her grownup words when she feels too neglected.