Keep Up"

Master decided to take mouse to lunch one winter day, and had mouse dress very warmly for the occasion. The wool pencil skirt that hobbles mouse a little, so Master added a thin string to bind mouse's knees together to further restrict her movements after she came downstairs. Then He had her wear the boots, with the high heel and made mouse walk about the room. Master smiled saying she was walking like Morticia Addams. He helped her on with her coat and escorted her to His SUV, opened the door and watched with a look of complete enchantment on His face, as mouse struggled to figure out how to get inside.

The determined mouse hopped and gyrated herself trying to propel herself upward finally using her arms hopped, twisted and lifted herself up onto the seat of the vehicle. By this time Master was chuckling as He closed her door and walked around. Sliding behind the wheel He said He would have gladly given mouse a boost. Now that remark left mouse feeling not bad, but more embarrassed that she hadn't thought to ask for Master's help.

He drove to a favorite place of His and parked. Watching Master parallel park is always a pleasure, as He usually gets it on the first try. Then He walked around the car, opened the door and helped mouse to the street. Master is tall with long legs, and mouse is restrained, effectively hobbled from walking very fast. It took five her tiny steps to equal one half of His normal strides. He paused, waited for mouse to catch up to Him a few times before saying. "Keep up!" and swears she saw Him smile as He turned away from her.

At the restaurant, we were seated, Master held the chair for mouse, as He usually does. There was an older man seated with His wife at a nearby table who gave Him a slight nod of approval. Then He began looking over the menu and quickly settled on lunch. A sandwich and salad for mouse and a different sandwich with salad for Himself. He told mouse she wouldn't be disappointed and she wasn't. He had said for her to eat all the salad, which was large enough and but the sandwich was amazing and somehow managed to stuff half into her tummy.

He asked for a box for the other half, paid the check and we slowly made our way out the door. Being downtown is a rare thing for mouse so we walked around a little, before He lifted mouse up onto a retaining wall of sorts, and reached under her dress and pulled the string binding her knees. Really mouse could not thank Him enough for that. The skirt still slowed mouse down but nearly as bad now. We went into a bookshop and had a short look around, Master found what He was looking for and purchased that, and saw mouse looking at a film history book, which He also offered to buy but mouse slid the book back onto the shelf and said it wasn't for her.

We looked around a little more, mouse looking at various cookbooks, which always makes Him chuckle because she rarely follows a recipe. It's just to get ideas, of course she has the internet for that and feels a cookbook that just takes up space is a bit useless. When did that happen? Back at the car mouse did ask for a little help, she didn't want to raise her skirt too high to get in, so He did give her a gentle boost up and kissed her.

As we drove out of the downtown area mouse circled back mentally to the idea of the cookbook being more obsolete and thought how different everything was today. Are we too dependent on on the  internet? Back at home, mouse looked through many of the old cookbooks she already has and began sorting them. Some only had one or two recipes in the whole book she ever made. Were these recipes also online? Yes they were. When was the last time she opened a cookbook and actually used it to cook something?

How does any of this relate to her slavery?

It probably doesn't, honestly, and yet there is a heavy suspicion it does correlate but mouse lacks the ability to see it in a clear way that she can express.  Master defines her slavery and gives her purpose and agency to be who she is underneath the surface, what she is at her very core. The slave that thrives under His control, has been disquieted lately about that very slavery.

Like the volumes of cookbooks she owns and rarely looks at, yet somehow refuses to part with, maybe the idea of her slavery is similar? An idea that she simply refuses to let go of?

When Master read this post, He zeroed in on the "disquieted" part.  He only wished to know why. The why was hard to get out. Words flew from her head and she felt emptied. Finally after a long time, mouse said simply, "What if I'm wrong?"

A first person sentence, regardless of length is always taken serious from Him. It's like when Master begins a sentence with "Honey" usually means He's frustrated or concerned that she's not getting something she should be understanding. Master closed His laptop, took His glasses off and put everything aside, pulled mouse into His arms and listened as she struggled to explain how different she feels.  Since the hospital, and Master decided to stop using mouse in certain ways, it's been a struggle to her. Maybe it was the fear of physical punishment that helped her toe the line more? Now that's been removed and mouse is finding it difficult.

"Is your slavery to me tied intrinsically to physical pain?"

It was a very fair question Master asked and mouse truthfully answered she was unsure, part of her did want to scream yes it was, and part felt it wasn't. Maybe the part that felt it wasn't, just wanted to believe that? To just give the right answer He wanted to hear, instead of the truthful one.

He said it's not coming back, the physical punishment in a way that leaves behind a mark on her body. He has reminded her that He isn't opposed to a quick slap to her face or ass to get her attention. Since the hospital He has had His struggles that He admitted to mouse. He's been worrying about her a lot, and didn't want to push her too hard. Now Master wanted to know if she was asking for a bigger push from Him?

The yes flew from her mouth before her brain could weigh it.

He nodded, removed His arms from around mouse, put His glasses back on, opened His laptop and resumed working. Then, when mouse didn't move, and completely bewildered by His response. Then He glanced up and asked, if she didn't have something she needed to do?

Ah the cookbooks, yes, she did have a task, after asking Him if there was anything else He needed, and Him just shaking His head no, she went back to work and began culling the cookbooks.

When she glanced back at Him, she saw Him smile.