Thursday, April 24, 2014
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
You got to carry the load
Thank goodness Daddy has a strong back at least most of the time. Yesterday tho, helping mouse, he twisted it wrong. Perfect time for mouse to practice her erotic massage skills.
Really must improve on the erotic part, because Daddy fell fast asleep. Maybe it wss the flexural?
Monday, April 14, 2014
Friday, April 11, 2014
A teeny bit of introspection from mouse, leaving the Master/slave thing we do aside for a moment and taking a stark moment to remember that's only part of who we are.
Last night we had to go to a dinner at a friend's home -- oh mouse shouldn't say it like that. Neither of us were particularly in the mood. It was something we just had to do.
Daddy has, mouse will joke, an internal GPS and rarely gets lost. Last night tho, we ended up on the wrong street and mouse just lamented without thinking "don't you know where you're going?"
He stopped the car, looked at mouse and just said, "don't"
It reeled mouse in quickly. It gave her pause and made her think, it also made her kinda weepy.
"Don't do that," he said. Referring to her tears. He told her not to do the girl thing she does. Not now, he wanted no part of it.
Quickly and without any sarcasm, mouse apologized. Although it did little to stop more tears. It made her nose sting. We arrived, and settled. The host was making drinks, the hostess passing around appetizers before the meal. Daddy got mouse a drink, and mouse collected some small bites for him.
One woman, mouse had never met, asked who she was with and mouse told her.
The woman said, "Him? Oh honey you have my sympathy!"
It can be hard, mouse's mind briefly wandered to our weekend recently, but in the end she replied with, "Oh he's totally different at home."
Because he is.
He likes things the way he likes them, but mouse was a bit put off by the woman she'd never met before saying that about Daddy. It turned out they work together,so the remark might have been more about that.
Shortly after the brief exchange, Daddy appeared by mouse, his hand comfortably hitting that spot on her back and she felt proud to be by him. The dinner was good. Conversation was a bit dull, but that's normal for things. In the end mouse got all the names right.
We left a bit early, using the sitter as an excuse, on the way home we talked about the party. Daddy thanked mouse for rescuing him more than once and mouse genuinely thanked him for helping mouse. The housework has never been so easy and completed so quickly thanks to him and his lists. It almost hurts a little that its better. But there's something about going down a list. It's comforting and if it's not on the list, mouse just knows its not a concern.
Here we were sitting in the car driving home after a party and mouse thanked him for cleaning lists. It sounded crazy. But mouse felt she hasn't thanked him enough for that at least recently. When we got home, after checking on the kids and sending the sitter home Daddy performed some maintenance on mouse. He began with his hand and mouse squirmed, then he switched to the belt and mouse cried. After he held her so very close.
Much later after some pretty awesome sex, mouse thought about fate and wondered if we really were fated to be together from the start.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Monday, April 7, 2014
Yes, mouse has been trying to think of ways to feel more submissive. Isn't that a silly thought? Really! No wonder mouse came up blank. Daddy has control over pretty much everything mouse does. He's even changed the lock code on the iPad so now mouse must recieve permission before using it. It's downright silly to think there's room for anymore control.
Still there was an emotional drift from our connection, both of us were kind of just moving along, maintaining what was viewed as not broken. The return to daily maintenance had taken mouse kind of aback. But it proved that we had drifted. The weekend without the kids proved it and settled it in mouse's head.
Really the issue wasn't "what" she was doing or "how," it was the "why" in it all that really was forgotten. That answer is really simple, because Daddy wants it that way. Rediscovering the pleasure in doing little things for him -- that are really for him and not really for mouse. Like picking up a bouquet of flowers at the market, justifying it in mouse's head it's for him...really that's for herself because she likes them. There's nothing wrong with that, but adding that to her 5 things she's supposed to be doing for him isn't honest.
In an ongoing effort to keep mouse honest about this, she's made her own rules for them. They can't be things she does with any regularity. Like oral service, warming his towel, placing his shaving things or most cooking. But if she prepares something solely with him in mind it might fly once.
The whole thing has been eye opening for mouse, most days she manages really one or two that are really about him. That's ok if they're truly only for him. It's not done so that he'd notice, this is really always been for mouse.
Gosh doesn't that sound odd? The things are little things to remind her of how special he is. How important he is to all of us. It's a small way of saying thank you that doesn't just include getting the brand of turkey he likes or making sure he's got beer on warm weekends or washing his socks. Those are things mouse wouid do anyway for him.
When mouse thinks of something extra special to do for him, it strengthens her connection to him and makes her feel tethered.
Yesterday mouse did manage a couple things for him, she cleaned his golf clubs and took his car to be washed so he wouldn't have to. He noticed the car but the clubs he might or might not notice. It ddin't matter since the whole time she tihought of him. In the evening he took us all out to dinner and mouse was able to dote a little on Daddy. That was nice.