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Saturday, May 16, 2009

One Word

There are few words needed to describe a practically perfect day. Friday, I spent the day just puttering around the house and very few work related stuff. I even took a short nap. In the evening I made pizza for dinner (yes made, as in yeast, flour combined into dough, rolled, etc). Opened a bottle of red wine I needed to use to let it breathe.

Omega came home at the usual time, and settled down with his Gin. Another really bad day for him, and it showed. I actually handed him a cool towel to rest over his eyes. Not a great night for company, but he somehow managed. He's like that. I would have called it off. Not him, he'll press through and no one will know.

Our friends arrived an hour later. They're a nilla couple we've both known for years. I'll call them Lucy and Schroeder. Schroeder is actually a concert pianist and Lucy his raven-haired bride. They've been married for 20 years and he still calls her his bride. She is just like Lucy in the Peanut comic strip. She is very outspoken, completely unabashed, intelligent and very quick witted.

When I first moved to this area, Lucy and Schroeder instantly adopted me as their single friend, once we reconnected, and we would get together about once a month. Lucy and I often have lunch or shop together. It's an easy relationship. Though Lucy never stops chatting. She loves analyzing everything and everyone. Schroeder tends to take everything very seriously and can be rather quiet however too, is quick witted and very charming. They are both very nice people and kinda fun to be around.

The four of us played Hearts, ate pizza and drank wine and it was fun for the most part. Then Omega won the third round in a row, Lucy decided we'd play different game (making everyone take a break to mess up his mojo). Lucy said using only one word, describe the most annoying thing about your mate. Now it needs to be said that she's doing this as a probe of Omega and my new-found relationship.

All eyes fell on me. I looked to Omega, and said, "well, he's a little finicky. About everything, his car, the way I keep house, what he eats or doesn't." Nobody likes their faults pointed out and Omega is no different. He looked at me and said, "I hate the intensity of her silence." He went on to explain that even when I'm upset, or yelling or crying, I'm communicating, but when I fall quiet, it bothers him greatly. Lucy clapped happily because we were playing the game. Then she looked to her husband and said that he was isolating and she went on to explain how--she's very much a social butterfly and he's not so much. He said she was flighty. He offered no other explanation, as though none was required. She wasn't put off by that though.

Now, she said one word to describe what you love MOST about the other person. This time Schroeder went first. He looked into his wife's eyes and said she was thrilling. And like before offered no further explanation. She looked at him and said he was very sensitive and she just loved that. Omega was next, he looked at me, and said without any hesitation the word passionate. He explained that I could be equally passionate about decorating a room as I could a social injustice. He said he had great respect for that kind of passion.

All eyes again fell on me. I had nothing! Could I sum up in one single word that which would take me an entire thesaurus to describe? My mind went blank, and the silence was unbearable. I had to escape but there was no where to go. I couldn't gracefully change the subject. I had to be blushing. Suddenly when I thought my fear had totally gripped me I said, 'unselfish." It was all I could come up with...it was the only word that to me thoroughly described what I most love, admire and respect about him.

Lucy and Schroeder both laughed at that since they've known Omega but only socially for years. They see him very differently as most do. I spoke up immediately, cutting them off saying that he is so unselfish with his time, energy, even money to someone that needs it. As long as it's never taken for granted or used for an advantage, there is not a bone in his body that could be described even remotely as selfish. I felt my anger rise in his defense. How dare they imply that he's selfish! I hotly got up and gathered a plate and retreated to kitchen. My friends truly pissed me off.

Omega, always polite and gracious excused himself and came into the kitchen. He took my hand off the plate and kissed it softly. I felt my anger diminish somewhat. I called into dining room using my sugar voice and asking, who wanted dessert? Schroeder never refuses a chance for sweets and replied quickly. I asked them if they wanted some coffee, and they said yes.

Omega returned to the table, chatting quietly with our guests, while I gathered the dessert, and coffee. Omega and I are similar, taking our coffee black. I served the cake and coffee, and Lucy was like nothing had happened. She had moved on; I on the other hand hadn't and remained a little quiet for the rest of evening. We played a few more hands of Hearts, which made me very happy that Omega again shot the moon and won each hand.

When they gathered their things to leave, only Schroeder whispered into my ear that he was very sorry if he had offended me. He is very sensitive. I smiled a genuine smile. Lucy asked if we all wanted to go to the movies tomorrow night. Omega shocked me by saying yes and mentioned that he knew I'd love to see the new Star Trek film. Lucy said that she's dying to see it also then went into a short story of why they hadn't seen it last weekend. Lucy always has a story.

They said they'd call us tomorrow and let us know what time.

I'm thinking I won't be answering that phone.

Omega, again reading my mind, pulled me close after seeing them leave. He amazed me by thanking me and was quick to add my defense of him wasn't needed. He reminded me that they really meant no harm by laughing and should be forgiven. I could see in his eyes that arguing that point was useless. And then he told me when they do call I will be certain to answer that phone. I guess he's satisfied in just knowing that I know he's unselfish. It bothers me that he's so quick to accept that people might think otherwise. Of course there was a time, long ago I thought he was selfish too. He's got a point and I hate it when he's right.

It's not such a bad thing, asking those kinds of seemingly innocent questions. In retrospect, I suppose it was a good evening.

1 comment:

  1. It's so difficult not to come to the defense of our Owners, Masters, Dominants, etc. We submit to them as we know they are capable of controlling and owning us, yet, somehow not capable of defending themselves. Curious, no?

    It's really hard to sit by when a person laughs at our statement. Truth be told, they are not laughing at us, but laughing at thoughts conjured up by our words. To them, you made a joke, as they don't have your perspective on Omega's unselfish side. But, that laugh feels like we've been made a fool, and we respond in anger - how could they be so cruel?!

    I do hope you come to realize that never once did either of them intend to hurt you. If so, Lucy would not have moved on in her conversations, but would be poking and prodding, trying to get more jabs in. But, she's not.

    It's really hard to understand that most people's comments really aren't about you, it's about them. Once we acknowledge that everyone is so focused on themselves, and we're NOT the main target, it becomes much easier to relax, and enjoy life, AND those we choose to share it with, including our friends.

    I hope you go to the movies, relax, and enjoy yourself, and your wonderfully "unselfish" Omega.

    Plus, honey, you're madly in love for the first time in a long time. It's like a mother bear - you're ready to take on the world to defend that which is most precious to you: Omega. Cut yourself some much needed slack.

    hugs and much positive energy,
    cutesypah

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