This blog contains information that is adult in nature. If you are underage please leave at once.

Friday, June 26, 2009

I did something stupid

Really dumb, not one dumbass thing but like three. Back to back. I feel horrible about it but his punishment helped.

What bothers me the most was that I hurt Omega without fully realizing it. Had it just been any one of these stupid things and it could have easily slid by him. It was not done with malice of forethought, it was just done because sometimes I do not think things through.

In our house in an effort be "transparent" Omega logs things I do on the computer, not because he doesn't trust me but because it is something he wants to do. I harmed greatly that trust by engaging in conversation with someone he doesn't exactly approve of. Omega would never tell me who to have as a friend, or confidant. However this one individual Omega sees as a person that can undermine his authority. I was dishonest with this friend about Alpha, I was dishonest with him and with myself.

Omega found the chat log and to his credit said nothing about it, though he found it disturbing. Then as what can only be described as foolishness I did another stupid thing. So that was two. Third was my blog post from yesterday. I didn't intend to misrepresent what he said, I was rushed and felt the topic of interest. I didn't exactly proofread very well, and I meant to clean it up later. I hit publish instead of save. However when I got to work in the morning, our computers were shut off (our offices are moving to the new building). I forgot about it. In the afternoon Omega called, quite upset with me and demanded that I remove the post. I removed without questioning it further.

There was no intent to twist his words. The fact he believed I did, troubled me greatly. Omega does command me, so when he makes a demand even if I disagree with it; it is simply not my place to argue about it.


  1. *hugs*

    We have all done things that in a different frame of mind, we would not have.

    Omega must know you never meant to intentionally hurt him.

    Communication is the key.

  2. I hope you were beaten good

  3. We all make mistakes. Omega can tell when you apologize and you mean it. He's made mistakes recently as well, and admitted them. Forgive yourself. It's clear that he already has forgiven you.

    hugs to you both.

  4. Renea,
    I'm reading... I don't have any words of wisdom for you, but I guess I wanted to tell you that I'm sympathetic. We all make mistakes, I think we all offend our Dominants at times. It seems like you both want things to work out though, so ...



All comments are moderated.