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Monday, July 6, 2009

A new name

Omega has been talking for sometime now about giving me a new name. Not that there is anything wrong with my name, it's just that he wanted something of a pet name I guess. At some point he stopped calling me his lady and started calling me "mouse." Saturday he asked me to change the name on my blog to reflect the name he has given me. I'm hesitant to say this out loud but I don't like the name mouse very much, though when he says it, it's not too bad. It is a name he call me anywhere, even when his family is around, like they were this weekend.

I also finally told Omega everything about my time with Alpha. He understands now why I am sexually wired the way it appears I am. And, he has taken on the task of changing it. Sexual conditioning he is calling it. It scares me. I know he's doing this for my own good and I know it's going to cause me a lot of frustration. I've been hiding things from him and that had to stop. It wasn't fair not telling him, and hiding the truth.

He also wishes since this is kind of a new beginning for us and in some ways my blog, he wants me to start using labels.

He also asked me to write about two good things that came out my time with Alpha.

That's even harder than being called mouse. I've been dreading Monday because of this. I suppose the first is easy, my job. Alpha got me into my career. The second thing? Maybe just the times that Omega was with me, in his Beta capacity. He didn't know the ultimate purpose, but had he, he certainly wouldn't have and Alpha would have just gotten someone else to be Beta.

11 comments:

  1. I love the name mouse. It is so endearing.

    I am also very glad you told Omega everything. The only way to move forward is to do so.

    *hugs*

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  2. A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.

    mouse I am sure you know that I have had my own struggles of late on the meaning of names and I have no wise words. I believe Omega had a reason for his choice and I am sure somewhere in that reason you can find the beauty of it and embrace it.

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  3. Thanks Gray, it was so hard to trust him that he wouldn't be angry with me (there was a lot of hiding). I have slept well for the first time in years now. It's amazing!

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  4. I understand why you don't like the name mouse, but sometimes that makes them like it even more doesn't it?

    sin

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  5. Oops, me again, I posted too soon. You said "He also wishes since this is kind of a new beginning for us and in some ways my blog, he wants me to start using labels."

    Could you say more about what that means?

    sin

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  6. Sir J,

    Thanks, though rose would be nicer...LOL. Actually the name is growing on me. When he says it (even when he's a little frustrated or upset), I find, I love it.

    mouse

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  7. hi sin,

    Omega wants the labels so when he needs to go back and reread something he can find it easier than trying to recall a date. He often likes to go back and reread to compare or contrast how I am doing. Now he believes this is more important than before.

    Regarding the name, I know exactly what you mean and had the same thought.

    mouse

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  9. I'm glad you cleared the air. I'm also glad that Omega has instructed you to find positive things that Alpha brought into your life. I hope he insists that you continue doing this, and doesn't have you just stop at two.

    In recovery, I learned that it's important to be grateful for good experiences as well as bad. We must go through these tough times to learn what we want, as well as what we don't want. I also learned that if I fight these lessons, I will be required to go through them again, and again. It's where I get the phrase, "what we resist, persists."

    It's important to be grateful for all the experiences, good and bad. For until you appreciate what you have, why should you be given any more?

    Not only that, but all of our experiences make us who we are. You wouldn't be the wonderful "mouse" you are today for Omega to love and cherish, had you not experienced your time with Alpha. You have him to thank for helping to make you the awesome woman you are today.

    hugs,
    cutesypah

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  10. cutesypah,

    Thanks a lot for your comments! Yes, Omega is trying to help me find the good things in my past, with and without Alpha. I'm letting Omega thoroughly lead me and I willingly follow his lead.

    mouse

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  11. rat is still a better name.

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