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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Submission v. Respect

Is it wrong to say that today's assignment sucks?


What is the difference between submitting to another and respecting someone? I guess submission is a deeper feeling. Omega often tells me he wants me to be respectful of all Dominates (or Domme's), but does that mean that I would submit to them in the same way I submit to Omega? I don't know. I guess the answer is only if he'd want or ask me to.

What does slavery mean to me? To me, it means total trust, honesty acceptance and really following. It doesn't mean that I can't complain about something. It just means that I don't always get my way or even ever--it's up to him. I should behave the way that he wants me to. After all, I belong to him.

Now Alpha let Omega use me sexually and it did make me feel horrible I guess to do that. I enjoyed being with him but it felt wrong to me. I don't understand how someone can submit everything to another and feel empowered by that. I guess the reason for that is because with alpha I had no voice.

With Omega I have to trust him above everything, which means I've learned to accept what he says as being honest with me. I also have to trust that he won't keep things from me, even if he believes it's for my own good. So, if he says nothing's wrong I have to take him at his word and believe it or accept that he's just not ready to say why he's upset. That can be unsettling but I also know if it were very important he'd probably share it.

It is a little empowering to know that I can tell those good and bad things I feel or are hidden inside me with Omega. Knowing I've told him the worst things possible, really bad stuff, and he's still here beside me and wanting to guide me. What's really weird is that I'm starting to feel worthy of that! If I'm respectful to him, and explain when I've had a bad day and let him decide what to do... Let him lead me, guide me and trust him. It really means giving up that control over myself and placing with him. Not easy for me to do, but he's shown me that he is so capable of handling it. I guess to me this is what consensual slavery is about.

It's funny but I started out dreading this assignment, in fact I've put it off all day long. I didn't want to deal with it. I didn't want to think about it because I had difficulty wrapping my head around some of the concepts. But as I started writing I realized I am different now. I do have some answers, not all and not always right but I'm figuring it out.

8 comments:

  1. On Mon, Jul 13, 2009 at 12:06 PM, Omega <> wrote:

    mouse,

    For tomorrow's assignment I would like for you, in no fewer than 500 words, explore the difference between submission and respect. Specifically in regard to other Dominates we might encounter, for example do you believe that your slavery to me, requires submission to all Dominates? What does "submission" mean to you? Reflecting on your past experiences, yes in regard to myself, and how that made you feel.

    What does slavery mean to you mouse? Did your previous encounter with slavery empower you or did it make you feel inadequate? Please include all these in tomorrow's journal.

    While, as always, I require that you send me advance copy of your entry, this time there is no time limit placed and you are not required to wait for approval to submit it. In other words, send me a copy and post it directly. I will comment either privately and/or publicly later.
    --------------------------------------------
    I am posting this here to remind you of what I said. No fewer than 500 words, you offered 475. I expect greater attention to detail. I will need to punish you for this.

    In reference to what you wrote, I do appreciate your effort. It does show growth in certain areas. It is also telling in what areas still require work. You are becoming aware. You are still only at the beginning of this journey and I hold little doubt you will get there. Baby steps mouse

    Unconditionally,
    Omega

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  2. Thank you Master. I'm sorry that I messed up the word count.

    your mouse

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  3. This flows with the thoughts i was having in my blog posting the other day. it certainly has inspired some deeper thoughts about this within myself.

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  4. LK:
    It was my mouse's response to your post that prompted this.
    Omega

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  5. Mouse,

    I think there is a huge difference between submitting to the one you submit to and submitting to all other Dommes and Doms. You can be respectful if that's what your Dom wants, and submit to them if that's what he orders, but really you are submitting to him then aren't you?

    I couldn't get at Lost Kitten's blog anymore, it's closed. :(

    Btw, I really liked seeing the comment from Omega about the original assignment and his thoughts on your performance.

    sin

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  6. Thanks sin!

    You're right.

    BTW, Lost Kitten took her blog private, if you'd like to read it, I guess you can email me through my blog, and we'll figure it out from there.

    mouse

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  7. *grins* i agree, i loved seeing Omega's comments and original assignment. i hope mouse doesnt mind that i inspired the assignment topic...but it did make me smile!!

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  8. Lost Kitten,

    No, I didn't mind it. When I got the email about the assignment I kinda figured he had seen my comment that time on your blog. I think he just wanted me to consider it more than he felt I had.

    It was a very good question and maybe I didn't think about my answer.

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