What is the difference between submitting to another and respecting someone? I guess submission is a deeper feeling. Omega often tells me he wants me to be respectful of all Dominates (or Domme's), but does that mean that I would submit to them in the same way I submit to Omega? I don't know. I guess the answer is only if he'd want or ask me to.
What does slavery mean to me? To me, it means total trust, honesty acceptance and really following. It doesn't mean that I can't complain about something. It just means that I don't always get my way or even ever--it's up to him. I should behave the way that he wants me to. After all, I belong to him.
Now Alpha let Omega use me sexually and it did make me feel horrible I guess to do that. I enjoyed being with him but it felt wrong to me. I don't understand how someone can submit everything to another and feel empowered by that. I guess the reason for that is because with alpha I had no voice.
With Omega I have to trust him above everything, which means I've learned to accept what he says as being honest with me. I also have to trust that he won't keep things from me, even if he believes it's for my own good. So, if he says nothing's wrong I have to take him at his word and believe it or accept that he's just not ready to say why he's upset. That can be unsettling but I also know if it were very important he'd probably share it.
It is a little empowering to know that I can tell those good and bad things I feel or are hidden inside me with Omega. Knowing I've told him the worst things possible, really bad stuff, and he's still here beside me and wanting to guide me. What's really weird is that I'm starting to feel worthy of that! If I'm respectful to him, and explain when I've had a bad day and let him decide what to do... Let him lead me, guide me and trust him. It really means giving up that control over myself and placing with him. Not easy for me to do, but he's shown me that he is so capable of handling it. I guess to me this is what consensual slavery is about.
It's funny but I started out dreading this assignment, in fact I've put it off all day long. I didn't want to deal with it. I didn't want to think about it because I had difficulty wrapping my head around some of the concepts. But as I started writing I realized I am different now. I do have some answers, not all and not always right but I'm figuring it out.