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Saturday, October 17, 2009

I'm frustrated

I'm angry, I'm hurt and I'm mad as hell that I can't go into any of the details.  For the first time I feel stifled by my blog.  Seriously stifled.  I feel as though my hands are tied and I can't say what I want.  And it's just making me angry.  I don't know how many blog posts I've written over the past couple days and I can't publish any of them.  I can't even wrap my head around my feelings to express them.  I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, I just feel like in doing that I'm ignoring my own feelings.  

I'm just trying to release some of this frustration I feel.  I'm just tired.  

I know eventually Omega will make things right again I'm just tired of losing my place in line.   





10 comments:

Katia said...

Sometimes when I am frustrated I blog my entries, but just don't publish them. Just working my feelings out on paper relieves the frustration.
Hope you feel relief soon.

Katia

nbs said...

Ahh mouse!
Hang in there.. keep writing and maybe just don't print them out.. my "draft" file is full of such things.
You will feel better.. i am sure of that.
hugs~~
nancy

Jz said...

:-/
I know what you mean. Sometimes I just want to snap, "Just ONCE can I come first, please??" But I can't and what sucks is that I know that 95% of the time, he has his priorities right.
I just don't like the results.

I doubt this is quite your situation but I suspect the feeling is similar.

{hugs}

Anonymous said...

Mouse, I am sorry you are having such a rough time. I hope things work out for you soon.
Ally

Indi said...

Oh dear a blockage in the cyber air ways... it will clear to blue skies eventually. When this happens to me, I put what I feel to the furthest part of my head, cover it with some thing a little less interesting, leave it to stew a few days, maybe a week, if it lasts that long, then one day out of the blue, you'll suddenly realise what the problem was and it'll go because you'll start to write again and you won't be able to stop... hope that makes sense? It works for me

schiava said...

Just a hug and some empathy and the offer of an ear and a waterproof shoulder (no details desired, much less needed).

*a big ole southern hug*

greengirl said...

Mouse, I am sorry things are so out of whack for you right now. I have always found that eventually I have to either believe that the reason for putting others' feelings before mine really justifies doing so, or I have to do what needs to be done to have my feelings addressed. I hope a resolution comes sooner than later.

turiya said...

*hugs* I know exactly how you feel. I hope you and O are able to figure this out soon.

spirited

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, I almost had a date tonight. Almost. Something happened, and today because I am with friends and baking, I stepped aside. Ues, I get tired of stepping aside. It isnt a good feeling for me and very quickly I find myslef pulling back so that side-stepping has no effect means nothing, because I do not care. There is more to you and Omega than me and anyone I am moving aside for at this time. Keep writing, he is reading. Have faith, he will respond.

mouse said...

To Complicated kitten and ronnie...

I'm sorry there's a reason Omega moderates comments because I hit the wrong button and rejected accidentally your comments...

Complicated kitten wrote:

mouse, I'm sorry to hear that you are frustrated and can't blog/vent the details of what is making you upset. I am sending some positive thoughts and wishes your way my dear friend. Please know that I'm here if you need my support!

Big Hugs,
kitten

And Ronnie also took the time to write:

Putting my feelings down on paper helps. Sometimes I keep them and re-read, other times I wrote and throw them away.

I hope your feeling better day.

Love.
Ronnie
xx

I'm so sorry to both of you....

mouse