I had a long talk with Master yesterday, a very intense, long talk, and he did his usual; he listened to me without interjecting or trying to finish my sentences. He didn't tell me how I felt, he just listened. Then he did the most amazing thing, he validated my feelings.
I felt the world come off my shoulders, no longer did I feel last. I dunno if I'll ever completely feel first in all things but I'm much closer than I was before. I didn't need him to "fix" everything I just needed to know that what I was feeling wasn't wrong. He also suggested that I start another blog, one that will be more a of a daily journal of my thoughts and feelings that will only be kept between he and I. Kinda of what he does in his own blog. He wants it updated each night before I go to bed or first in the morning.
He wants all my thoughts documented even the ones that I feel I can't post about in this blog.
He explained he never meant to stifle me in anyway and that made me happy. I am also to keep this blog as my main voice and continue my weekday postings. I don't need to share with him every single thought I have in my head every minute of the day but he'd like to know at the end of day, which thoughts were most important.
Sometimes they'll make in this blog, but other times if they're too heavy they'll be put down into the other for his eyes only (then I also don't have to worry about accidently publishing the wrong draft here--after all, I am blond).
It did get me thinking more about the power exchange, and how I believe trust and responsibility are the two main parts. I believe I do need to trust him that he will do whatever is the responsible course of action. He has to also trust my good judgment, and know that I'll behave accordingly within his guidelines. Not too shabby!
9 comments:
not too shabby at all - pretty damn nice in fact.
sounds perfect. I am glad you resolved your issues it seems this past weekend was a good one for talking.
Trust is based on wise decision making of the one you trust. In your case, based on what I've read, your Master deserves your complete trust. This was a wise way of dealing with your frustrations about being unable to blog some of your thoughts, yet still allowing Master to control what you do post. Very wise indeed, IMO.
wow, he is very engaged. My wife is more of a goal setter. What goes on between my ears is really none of her concern. She wants to see expectations met. If I feel off, I report it in my evening journal times, but most of the time, just duly noted.
I love when Padrone and I talk things through. I always feel so special afterwards, and I know that, even if there is no overt signal or sign that anything has changed, it really has because my perception has changed.
Not sure that makes sense or not, but all I was trying to say is that I am really glad that y'all could talk things through, and that you will have a "safe" and private place to type thoughts not meant for public consumption. That really helped me quite a lot when I needed it badly.
So glad y'all talked!
Yay! for losing the weight of the world!
Can't say I'm too surprised you guys worked it out, tho'. You just ooze that "this really works for us" vibe!
I'm gonna eat an extra brownie in celebration! (You're far too busy blogging...)
hugs
Sounds wonderful, keep writing, communicating :)
I'm so glad to hear that you and Omega were able to talk and workout things.
Hugs,
kitten
Oh, I'm so glad you guys talked and that things are worked out for you. You're absolutely right... sometimes all we really need is our feelings validated.
*hugs*
spirited
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