Gotta say, today was just one of those where everything I touched either turned to shit or was sneezed on! I dunno but my energy level is nil, and I'm tired of waking up during the night with a stuffed up nose. My back hurts and my head has had this dull throbbing right around my sinus area, my friend suggested that I get a neti pot. Okay at this point I'm willing to try anything, so I get one...follow the instructions and think OMG this is gross. My nose is completely clogged at this point and I'm cranky. I put the liquid into my nostril and the idea is it's supposed to come out the other one (which the basic thought of skeeved me out anyway). I tip the thing and NOTHING happens! My nose is sooooo clogged it won't work. NOTHING came out or went in, I mean it was like the thing was corked or something (my nose, not the pot).
I reach for the afrin and in just a few minutes I can breathe again, in fact so well I forgot all about the pot. I can breathe again and that's really all I cared about. Maybe tomorrow I'll try the neti pot. Fortunately for me, O has this a few days longer and seems to be feeling better now each day after feeling stagnant for days. So, I'm hopeful to be feeling better by New Years Eve tomorrow. Though both our colds have kinda put the kibosh on our big plans. We were supposed to go a big party at a hotel but we've cancelled out, since we're both just aren't feeling up to it.
So, I guess it will just be a quiet evening at home, followed by a New Years Brunch with O's family and some friends. Then I suppose it will be a day of football for O and the guys. Maybe Lucy will be around and we can hit the mall. Sounds like a good New Year to me.
Aside from that Omega went into the basement and came up all manly smelling and covered in sweat...gotta admit I do like that sweaty man smell he has. However I'm just not feeling up to doing anything, which really sucks--for both of us. We are working on ways to bring me more into a balanced state, first by working on what I eat and since I'm a notorious meal skipper that is no loner allowed. It's not like I don't know how to eat healthy but I guess I just don't like to. I know it's hard because I'm so cranky already and moody and let's not forget snappish. O sat me down and we had a talk just a bit ago, and he asked if I was testing him, and I was honest, saying no, but now I'm wondering if I'm not just a little bit.
I'm really not sure.
In my comments from yesterday's post sin asked a great question and it's one I'll probably be answering in the coming months little by little.
For now, O is doing well, going to his therapy sessions and SA meetings, and we have therapy together twice a week for now. It's good because I can ask questions there that I'm afraid to ask him when we're not. Today's session was really hard, lots of Kleenex and with my nose it just wasn't a good thing, but we talked long and hard about the past and mistakes that we both have made along the way. One of the biggest mistakes was just our mutual silence and the fact we started living more like fuck buddies rather than a real couple. Now, we're working on ways to improve this so that it doesn't happen again. One of those ways is to spend more time together doing normal things, instead of me doing something and him off alone doing something else to integrate things into something we can do together or at least in the same room.
This doesn't mean we don't need quiet time or time apart, because we do, but those now have limits. Weirdly enough it's working nicely for the both of us.