I think many on the submissive/slave/pet/whatever side of the power exchange at some point find themselves in codependent situations. I did with Omega. I didn't want to rock the boat. Last year right before he went into rehab many things in our relationship were very wrong. In fact I'd say the only thing right was our love.
He used his position over me, that was the truth. But he also blamed me for his lack of sobriety or made me responsible for his failure. Had I just done this or that everything would have been fine, and no harm done. That seems to be the heart of codependency where someone else becomes responsible for making another do what they should.
Of course the whole nature of our power exchange revolves around Omega telling me what to do, so how is this different? I'm not sure how it is, but it feels very different. It feels healthy. He controls me and I'm happy with his control. He doesn't use it as a tool against me.
When I was in that codependent mode, I couldn't handle it. At first it wasn't so bad, I could feel that I was helping him but after a while the weight of it all proved too much, too heavy. Things got broken beyond what seemed repairable. Finally, Jim, his sponsor, got through to him and he went to rehab for a few weeks (they called it a refresher course). During that time he realized where he went wrong before. He came home with rules he had to follow, but the only people responsible for him adhering to those rules is himself, his therapist and Jim. When he needs them, they're the ones that he turns to. The professionals that have seen and heard it all and not so easily convinced.
I gotta admit, I'm glad it happened the way it did, because with all the weirdness of this year, problems with his son, my issues, I don't think we would have made it through. I don't think we were strong enough to make it through.
Now we're stronger than we were before. Together we're balanced and strong. We're happy. Ya we make mistakes both of us but they're not fatal to us. We come first.
I know I could explain a lot more, and if anyone has questions I'd be happy to try to answer them. It's just not an easy subject to delve into.