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Monday, January 16, 2012

Catch the Wind

Greetings from mouse,

The house was unusually still one evening, Daddy and mouse were whispering, playing the do you remember game. Back in March 2009 Daddy, sent mouse an email. Just a few words with a link..

He said he'd been awake during the night thinking of mouse. We weren't together at that time, but moving toward, erratically that end.

The link he sent was a to a YouTube video of Donovan. The song was Catch the Wind.

Here are the words...

In the chilly hours and minutes,
Of uncertainty, I want to be,
In the warm hold of your loving mind.

To feel you all around me,
And to take your hand, along the sand,
Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind.

When sundown pales the sky,
I wanna hide a while, behind your smile,
And everywhere I'd look, your eyes I'd find.

For me to love you now,
Would be the sweetest thing, 'twould make me sing,
Ah, but I may as well, try and catch the wind.

When rain has hung the leaves with tears,
I want you near, to kill my fears
To help me to leave all my blues behind.

For standin' in your heart,
Is where I want to be, and I long to be,
Ah, but I may as well, try and catch the wind.

Now at the time mouse didn't think much about it (Ya she can be that dense) but later after we did become a couple mouse realized what he was trying to tell her. Music has always been mouse's poetry, more than once she accused him of not getting or understanding that...

Omega was effectively telling mouse he wanted her and she MISSED it...

That was the only musical cue she missed.

Another time we had a whole discussion, while he was away using nothing but music.

We've had arguments too, using music, horrible quarrels, even.

For a long time we thought expanding our family would be like catching the wind...

In November mouse mentioned that she had a secret she wasn't ready to share and faithful readers have noted changes.

Normally, we keep personal stuff off the blog, and originally intended to keep this private.

Then mouse read this...mouse wanted to say that she completely understood those feelings! That she was going through it...right now...It's life altering and's scary too.

We have a baby! We're over the moon with happiness. It's a lot of work and tons of changes...for all of us here. We thought we were prepared, really we weren't. But we're adjusting well.

The baby is gorgeous and is nursing well, waking every couple hours or so.

Daddy is adjusting without his morning oral attention that he's come to enjoy and mouse misses like crazy sleeping at night with him in mouse's mouth.

We have had wonderful moments together after the baby is tucked into bed. But then exhaustion on both our parts takes over and we opt for short play or loving (or just talk), in favor of longer sleep.

Our lives are ever evolving, and mouse does her very best to still make home Daddy's refuge from the world. It doesn't always work out that way now, but he has said more than once he appreciates the effort.

And even tho it doesn't need to be said, Omega is a wonderful and doting father.

Our friends, the ones that know us in real life are being supportive and have been throughout this process. But they think we're crazy too (at least they must). After all, we're settled, life is good, why on earth would we want to upset the cart???

Then this mom looks into her baby's eyes....

None of that matters, the crying, the serious lack of sleep...those first really rough nights...thinking mouse isn't qualified to do this...we seriously need someone waaaaay more qualified.

The baby roots around and latches...looking up with those squinty eyes...For that moment, all is right with the world.


  1. congratulations, although I am many years removed from having a newborn and have no wish to relive it I do remember that time fondly. It is very, very special indeed, enjoy.

  2. Omega and mouse,
    Congratulations! I love that song, and in a lot of ways raising children for us has felt like trying to catch the wind. But it is the sweetest joy. I wish you all the best - and some sleep.

  3. Congrats to you both!! That is so wonderful!


  4. Awwwww congrats!!

    I feel like I should have put tow and two together. Youe heavy scenes stopped about conception time, diaper play and then quitting work! All makes sence now.

    Really giggledy happy for you guys! Hugs!

  5. Congratulations to you and your family, that is just beautiful..

  6. Congratulations! Mazel Tov! This explains a lot (like why you aren't interested in politics right now or why Omega didn't want you to prune the trees!) I was curious when I read on your FAQ that there were "children" in the house. You sound like you have everything you want and need. Your post really made me happy.

  7. That is wonderful news. I can feel the happiness jumping at me through your post.

    Mazel Tov!!


  8. Congratulations!
    Babies do turn the world upside down, but it's an incredible kind of upside down isn't it.

  9. I've been reading the blog for a long time and this is the first time I've commented. I just had to because this post made me really happy. I was a bit surprised about the baby news because I thought you were older 40+..sorry about that! How old are you of you don't mind me asking? This post made me happy for several reasons. Firstly I've had baby on the mind non stop latey, and second because I was in a similar situation as you were with Alpha and It was so bad that I was afraid he scarred me forever and I couldn't have kids. Now that I am with my "Omega" who rescued me from the previous D, and sat with me through coUntless PTSD sessions, I am excited to start a family. Your story really gives me hope that someone as scarred as me could find happiness. Your blog Really impacted my life. Thank You and Congrats on the little one :)

  10. I am over the moon happy for all of you mouse! When that baby larches on and looks up at you, that is the best feeling in all the world isn't it?

    And Honey? You are eminently qualified to do this, because you understand love.

  11. Congratulations mouse and Omega! What a wonderful surprise; thank you so much for sharing with us. :)

  12. Congratulations on the addition to your family.These are both happy and exhausting times. You two are going to be great.

  13. Thank you for sharing this private part of your life with all of us. Congratulations and ... you sound so happy right now! I remember some sad times and the fact that both of you have worked hard to come from a mixed up, confused place without each other just shows that it can be done, if you really want it to happen.
    Now you have some more hard work ahead of you; just as fulfilling and rewarding as the M/s relationship. Our children are 27 and 18( yep I am old!) and sometimes it's hard to remember the " no sleep" times but now, looking back, it was so worth it.

    I guess this rambling is to say that you both sound so happy and what a wonderful present you both were given.

    ~ mairi

  14. Oh Omega and Mouse, I'm so happy for you both. Such wonderful news.

    Love and hugs,

  15. How wonderful! Welcome to the new little one, and much happiness to you all.


  16. Holy moly I didn't see that coming AT ALL but I did wonder why your post yesterday said "Children" but I left it figuring u would explain then BAM I see this
    Mazel,,, I'm very happy for you and your family:)
    A baby is you and Omega wrapped up in one:)

  17. O, YAY!!!

    Congratulatons!! I'm soooo happy for you!!!

    {doing the happy dance...}


  18. That is SO wonderful, congratulations to you both. I'm so happy for you :)

  19. Children are wonders...congratulations to you both!

  20. OOOPSS! I meant WITH each other!! arghh 'My apologies for the typo! the fact that both of you have worked hard to come from a mixed up, confused place "without" each other just shows that it can be done, if you really want it to happen.'

    I wish my fingers worked well! ( along with my brain, sometimes)


  21. Congratulations! So happy for you both.


  22. I return from a long weekend and read this! How did you keep this secret?!
    Congratulations to both of you! What a beautiful blessing!

    Much love,

  23. That's how I felt when I had son.
    All the sleepless nights, the constant exhaustion was all worth it for him.
    I know I'm a few years late on this but congratulations!


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