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Monday, February 20, 2012

Full Circle

By Omega

It would seem that mouse and I have ventured full circle, quite by accident. Our sojourn into the past brought up some issues I had not anticipated. Needs she has that went unmet and most surprising to learn, how difficult it is for her. How difficult I made it for her.

My expectation was, when we began our second time around, that she suddenly would have normal boundaries, her issues vanish, her past banished from today. After all I had "fixed" her ability to orgasm. All her issues regarding sex and touching being painful were gone. Mouse is better off than she once was. Everything else must have vanished as well. Not true, I was simply versed at ignoring what I did not wish to see, while riding high on the ego boost. How deeply foolish and arrogant I was.

In most other areas of our life, she is unchanged, she is still a wonderful and doting mother, a loving wife, and an obedient slave.

We are all flawed. We made a joint heavily concerted effort to save our marriage and possibly our Master/slave dynamic but latter only if possible. We, together with our children are more important than anything else. While I remain deeply conflicted if this course is correct for us. I know for now, it is being done for the right reason.

Tomorrow mouse will return to regularly journalling her thoughts for all to read. However, she is still feeling rather tender and extremely vulnerable. It is for this reason I will close comments until her comfort level rises.