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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Sounds of laughter, shades of life

Greetings from mouse,

It's crazy mouse lost just one hour right?  Somehow she lost a day...Monday passed without a word from mouse and while she'd love to blame it on the time change...truth is she just got busy and forgot...just like she did last week too.  Please forgive her and enjoy the thoughts for today.  

Some evenings when he hasn't got a logjam of work to get through we'll sit together and just laugh.  People have ideas of what a 24/7 dynamic is like, certainly mouse has mentioned it before.  The image of the slave nude, always on her knees, waiting for a command or opportunity to please her Sir.  He's always in full Dom mode, ready to use her at a given moment.

Yes, sometimes it's like that, we spend time together in his study, while he works...just being quiet and waiting for direction -- with the outright nudity, although sometimes he will have mouse unbutton her blouse.  Sometimes he does like to objectify mouse a bit.  Like he'll tell her to pleasure him orally while he ignores it, continuing to work (not that much gets accomplished).

But it's not always like that.  Other times, we sit and talk, more often lately because of the house, kids and lots of other stuff, we're actually not feeling very talkative all the time.  There's enough, especially recently, we must discuss, we forget to laugh and be silly with each other.  Well, mouse will be silly and he'll tolerate it.

Well like the time mouse mused out loud, about sticking a darth vader helmet on Omega's penis, while humming the darth vader theme song.  He simply retorted that mouse would not be playing dress up with his "John Thomas."

Once, just recently during an argument she called him a doody head.  When he looked at her, and asked her to repeat that in much more respectful way; she restated it, Doody Head, Sir.

Tho it really wasn't intended it broke the ice between us.

We had hit the reset on the argument.  We started over, calmer and more gentler with each other.

Lately, we've been mired in this thing we do, struggling to define ourselves.  Are we Master/slave?

Part of us, easily one part answers yes, while another part wonders...

Why?

Pain is no longer a real part of our dynamic.  Maybe he struggles with that more than mouse, because she welcomes pain and needs at times to suffer for him, but because our power exchange she has no power to control that.  Still, she needs him to want her to suffer for him, selifsh, no?  On a conscious or philosophical level mouse understands why the pain can't return.  Why it's hard for him.

Yes, we both understand that pain doesn't need to part of a M/s dynamic. Many don't do pain at all.  But that's never been us, hence the struggle.  It's an adjustment for mouse.   Just something that will take time to work out...right?  

Song selection: Across the Universe; Lennon, McCartney

12 comments:

  1. The difficulty i think is who is to say what a Master/slave dynamic is? is there a set formula to follow, i think relationships change because people change, we make adaptions sometimes through choice and sometimes they are forced by circumstances out of everybodys control.

    Pain plays a large part in our dynamic although by no means is the largest part, but i think i would find it very difficult to not have it present, i crave it...i sometimes wander if i do more than he does.....im very insecure when it comes to my masochism i wander if im enough for him...he is more experienced than me.

    sorry im letting my thoughts wander.

    Do you feel any resentment (not sure if thats the right word) that pain isnt part of your dynamic anymore? if you dont mind me asking.

    best wishes
    tori

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    Replies
    1. tori,

      On a complete analytical level, we both thoroughly understand what we are....Omega is more comfortable with the situation of us than maybe mouse...

      Outright resentment, sometimes...maybe a little...Omega really fostered those feelings of wanting pain...now that it is gone and cannot return, yes mouse misses it.

      But he demonstrates hs sadistic urges in other ways...and for mouse those ways will have to be enough.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  2. This is the question I keep hitting my head on recently. What is our relationship. As in, what is fundamental to it? What does each of us need? What isn't a need but just feels like it and I should adapt? Thank you for writing about this.

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    Replies
    1. gg,

      Maybe it's good to reflect in an honest way at times about our personal needs and what our needs are as couple...then maybe reconciling the two...

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  3. "Once, just recently during an argument she called him a doody head. When he looked at her, and asked her to repeat that in much more respectful way; she restated it, Doody Head, Sir. "

    LMAO Thank you...I needed the laugh today. I've done something just like that and lived to tell the tale. Thanks for brightening my day. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. No, dear, I'm *sure* it was "Daddy Head" that you said...
    really!

    (I'm not surprised that broke the ice. I don't think I could even say it with a straight face. ;-p )

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    Replies
    1. Jz,

      Ya! That's what it was..ya...mouse called him...Daddy-head...ya that's the ticket!

      The first pass was easy...restating it with the "Sir" there was a visible smirk.

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  5. Dear Mouse,

    i love that story!

    And you sound open and happy and mostly just curious about how you will define yourself. It sounds so good.

    hugs,

    aisha

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    Replies
    1. Aww aisha,

      Thanks....it is pretty good. We also talked a little more about it tonight...

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete
  6. mouse,
    I can recall early on in my education that in my profession labels are given and easily so. I believe there is a time and place for a label if it is to help a person, to give a person an explanation to certain behaviours; however, for the most part I tend to fall under the "Labels Disable" theory.

    I have engaged in numerous debates, some rather heated about what a Master and slave relationship looks like. You know what it looks like to me? Probably similar to what it looks like to you but also different and the same goes for every other human being who participates in such an exchange.

    At the end of the day I believe I am in a relationship with Master. The titles we use could be anything really. He could call me watermelon and I could address him as Pied Piper if that were to please us. The titles do not change the connection or exchange. At the same time I could call him Master and he call me slave but I do not walk around naked 24/7 and do cater to his every need before my own. Some have that exchange and it works and they call that a total power exchange. It is individual and I respect each others differences and likeness.

    As for pain, well this I can not relate to because I actually do not like pain nor do I ever feel I "need" it but I can see the struggle as it was something you both participated in. Hopefully you will each find a balance with pain.

    We are all individuals, we are all unique and we all have our own ideas as to what this thing we do is all about.

    Enjoy the onset of spring.
    ~a

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    Replies
    1. ~a,

      Your right of course on all counts and Omega just mentioned as we read your comment, "It is a pity that so many (mouse included) expound much time and effort, attempting rather vainly to define that which the dearth of demarcation is fiercely suspect and subjective."

      As for spring,, hopefully we'll see signs soon, today it snowed and mouse is so sick of snow...

      Hugs,
      mouse

      Delete

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