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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Too Real to Feel

Monday after blogging and Daddy left for work, mouse got the baby situated while mouse began to tidy up the house...doing all those things everyone hates and sat down to make a shopping list. We need lots of staple stuff...yanno mustards, pickles -- that kind of stuff. Daddy is particular about a lot of things, so mouse made notes about brands.

All too soon Babygirl was awake, so we went outside to let her crawl around out there, where she tried to catch butterflies and dragon flies. Soon after lunch, Babygirl is again snoozing and mouse sent a text to Daddy saying how much she missed him. Dinner was so blissfully simple, just heat up and plate.

After babygirl's bath, mouse found Daddy in his study, quietly she sat on the floor and unbuttoned her blouse, then picked up of all things a cook book to read. Daddy arched an eyebrow seeing mouse's choice. It's an old joke. There are things truly mouse cooks very well, but there are other things...well not to much. Flipping through and looking at recipes to try, making notes in margins...

Daddy called mouse to him...playfully mouse crawled to him and watched all wide-eyed as she placed her hands behind her back and went to work on him. Smelling and worshipping him. Daddy, pulled on mouse's hair as she sucked him. Then he told her to release him and had her stand. He bent her over the desk and took her from behind.

After mouse cleaned him off with her mouth and thanked him for his attention, then he sent mouse to clean herself up. After mouse settled again the floor and tried to consentrate on the cookbook, but found her mind drifting. Daddy can use mouse as he wishes -- it makes her feel happy to be of use (this way) to him. It made her ponder how much she needs his control...at times more than his love. Of course she has both, in abundance and suddenly mouse was overwhelmed with a flood of thoughts. How her behavior has been. Normally, once she's been punished its forgotten and mouse tries hard to do better, but this time was different.

Tears welled and spilled down her cheeks and Daddy pulled mouse to him, held her tightly and asked what the problem was. Suddenly, mouse went through everything she'd done recently and felt terrible for each time Daddy had to lecture or punish recently. Daddy held onto her tightly soothing her and reminded her it was ok.

I love you Daddy!!

Song selection: Because the Night; written by Bruce Springsteen, performed by Patti Smith

4 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh that is exactly how i feel at the moment ... mistakes and more mistakes. I'm glad that Omega was gentle sounds beautiful ava x

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  2. Really lovely, thank you for always sharing.
    Chasing butterflies & dragonflies, so cute at that age!
    <3
    mg

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  3. mouse,
    I really appreciate the way you write about the good things - i know it's not all good - but i love that you focus on the positive so much.

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  4. I love the emotional side of you. It's very touching to read.

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