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Saturday, April 24, 2021

The Sounds of Silence

Fools said I, you do not know, silence like a cancer grows...

Even the unintentional silences can cause worry. Master was doing a multi-city hop with a couple days in each stop. Meeting with existing clients, who were pleased they hadn't been completely forgotten about, and hopefully picking up a new one or two. Master rarely goes longer than a few hours without sending a text or something, reaching out. On this particular trip, He decided to just use His phone and leave the work laptop at home. These meetings wouldn't be difficult, just more of a touch base thing. 

He had arrived at the hotel, walking past the pool area toward His room and a teen bumped into Him. No, He didn't fall into the pool, but His phone did. He recalled later that it was slow motion as He watched with disbelief His phone flying through air and splashing down and disappearing beneath the surface. The teen dove into the water and retrieved it, and apologized profusely. The teen's parents ran over, they felt terrible. He shrugged it off, annoyed yes, but it wasn't intentional. He returned to the business center and used the computer to contact the cell provider. He wasn't going to wait and see...He figured the phone was forever dead. Roughly an hour later, the provider promised a new phone would be delivered the following morning no later than 10AM. He wasn't completely adrift, Google had His appointments, addresses and phone numbers, that He jotted down. 

If only calling mouse were as simple. He tried several times and got sent to voicemail. He didn't leave a message but wondered why mouse's phone was down, He thought maybe she had forgotten to charge it or perhaps an update had her phone out of commission. Finally He left an annoyed voicemail and waited. Meanwhile at home, mouse was checking her phone constantly and sent Him several text messages and even called Him, leaving Him a message to call her. It was so unusual for Him to not respond and mouse was worried. Already tried to call the hotel to see if He had checked in, but they wouldn't say. They don't give out that information. They wouldn't even take message, because that might be confirmation He was staying there or something. 

Admittedly she didn't look at her phone while she made dinner, pizza which is messy with dough, so once the pizzas were in the oven, mouse looked again at her phone. There was a indication that she missed a call, but it never rang, well it was an indication that she had voice mail message and her finger hovered over the delete but was at the same time curious...What spam was it this time? The IRS saying she would be arrested? Microsoft security saying her windows are hacked? Social Security saying her number had been suspended because of fraudulent activity? Oooh, maybe the car warranty has expired? 

All those possibilities...mouse hit play and listened and it was Master sounding annoyed with her. He left the room number so this time she got through without a problem and He answered on the first ring. He was more than annoyed with her and it wasn't until He really listened that her phone hadn't rung ONCE that he began to sort out what was wrong. The spam filter He had installed on her phone had just blocked the number. His mood lightened considerably when He realized it and told mouse to not turn it off. He'd have a new phone soon enough. We chatted a little, mouse forgot the pizza in the oven, and yelled suddenly shit..several times in a rapid succession. 

Through the phone He could hear the smoke alarm sounding and mouse yelling to HOLD ON. He wasn't worried and waited patiently until she got back on the line. He felt bad the dinner was ruined and mouse said it didn't matter she was more concerned about Him. He spoke to the kids while mouse dealt with the burned up pizza. It wasn't really salvageable. He asked if we had something else, of course we did. Honestly the kids would happy with pancakes for dinner as well as pizza.

We chatted a little longer and He said He'd text when He got His phone up and running and asked for the home phone number (He never remembers it).

The next day around 1pm she finally got a call from Him. He was exasperated, His meetings had gone really well, but the phone was a nightmare, set up this, log into that and then the cloud download had taken forever. He wished there was an option to not just download everything and just select the few things He needed until He got home, but everything was now there. He wasn't unhappy with the new phone either. Crisis averted, everything had moved nicely and all was again right with His world.  At the airport waiting for His last flight that would bring Him home again. 

His flight wasn't delayed, He texted from His seat and mouse pulled it up on the computer. At the appropriate time she checked and double checked the traffic, got the kids and said we're surprising Daddy and picking Him up. We made good time, parking wasn't bad either (short term garage) and made a mental note of where we parked and received His text that the plane had landed safely, unaware that mouse already knew that. 

Master was surprised to see us waiting for Him as He walked through the exit, He scooped up little one and kissed mouse. The only other thing He asked, was if mouse knew how to find the car again. Well, even if she didn't know (but she did) her phone knew where the car was parked. We walked back to the car, and Master drove us all home where dinner was waiting. We had picked Him up and He still got a hot meal, He marveled at His slave's efficiency, well she learned time management from Him. 

Master feigning to wipe a tear from His eye and stated that His work here was done. 

Later, looking over His slave in the most humiliating way possible, mouse noted that He seemed different, tense, or perhaps harsh. Whatever mouse rolled with it. As He moved around her, it became clear that He was clearly pissed about something and the only saving grace was she was fairly certain it wasn't her. Abandoned, kneeling on the floor, she glanced up as He flopped down in the chair and said very simply He needed to beat something. He was up again pacing, between the closet and where mouse was. Despite being unsure what to do or say, mouse struggled to hold her tongue, part of her wishing He would take the belt to her. Not because she wanted the pain, she really didn't but because He seemed to really need to make her hurt and suffer. 

It's one of those odd moments where mouse wonders how fucked up we are that we have these strange desires that burn so ferociously that if not acted on, threaten to consume us? Since Master stopped leaving marks on mouse's body, there's one simple truth she did learn about her or perhaps came to terms with, she actually doesn't enjoy pain. Control or rather being out of control is what really makes her spin, enduring pain for His pleasure is wrapped up in that somehow. Master knew from the beginning (probably as much as her first owner did and Omega was aware from those days) that the threat pain frightens mouse in a way that makes it even better for a sadist. That's probably why, in Master's case, the relationships He's had with hard-core masochists never lasted very long. 

The inner conflict continued until rather suddenly He picked her up off the floor where she was kneeling and dragged her across the room where she struggled to try to remain upright. He practically threw her against the wall and pressed His body against her, it felt cold, angry and even rapey, as He unzipped His trousers, releasing His cock and thrusting it inside her and harshly warned her to NOT make a sound. To suggest it didn't hurt would be a lie, He's large, too large to not be gentle and while mouse was wet, she wasn't really that aroused and the pain there wasn't helping. It was when He groped her breast twisting and biting down hard on her nipple that  she called out His name. Not Sir, not Master, not even Daddy but His name. 

We don't have a safe-word, mouse is His slave and she knows this but this was beyond what she could handle mentally and physically.  

He froze and looked at her, still inside her against the wall and hard as a rock and in balls deep. His quick breathing slowed as He wrapped His arms around her and moved much slower. He was going to finish but He was more gentle about it. As her arousal increased to meet His (because this felt mighty good now), He held her as He came with a groan and continued to hold her after. Neither of us knew what to say. He didn't immediately apologize but He wasn't the same as He had been moments earlier. Master just needed to unleash His sadist side. 

Later when we did talk, what truly bothered Him the most was that up until that moment that He heard mouse say His name, He wasn't even thinking about her and was just lost in His own desire to control and inflict pain. Had He warned mouse.. 

We've done that before, but it's been far more orchestrated, like a scene that's somewhat choreographed between us. He would say certain things to let her know that it was coming and those clear signals excited her. There's been times where she's fought back, hitting and clawing at Him, as He overpowers her and subdues her. And it's fucking hot. It's every bit as deep, but it doesn't hurt the same way. More pleasure than pain, and admittedly, that's just the way mouse likes it best. 

Master said He hadn't meant to hurt or frighten her. In our dynamic mouse is property, yes, cherished, often spoiled, cared for, but still owned by Him. And mouse is comfortable with that side of things belonging to Him; being His 'thing" He can bring out or keep hidden away as His wishes. It wasn't one thing that set Master off. It wasn't work, which is at last going well, it wasn't home because that's fine too, it wasn't even mouse, but rather His own needs were growing until they couldn't be just swept away. While He was reacquainting her with her slavery to Him there were a few moments for Him that He truly enjoyed, probably too much, especially when He made her eyes fill with tears of confusion or forced her to drool and gag on Him had really excited the sadist that dwells within Him. We both like it rough.

Mr Hyde to His usual Dr Jekyll. 

Master is still ever mindful that life can go sideways at a moment's notice, but He also came to some level of terms with that. Earlier this month, Master posted on His Twitter account, "I often want my slave in ways that trouble me. I want to perversely unhinge her, I desire  her complete surrender, as much as I want her misery and tears, I also require her passion and lust." 

Last night, again mouse on the floor, ass up, tits and side of her face resting on the carpet with arms outstretched, He examined her, somewhat roughly in the way that had unsettled mouse before but spoke calmly to her at the same time. He had inserted the glass plug into her bottom that she has come to adore, because it makes her feel the most helpless and is the one that gives her that constant reminder she isn't free to simply do as she wishes. When Master lifted her chin to look at Him, He knew her head was swimming in the deep water of her submission. He removed His belt and doubled it in His hand and brought it down hard enough on her backside to make her squeal and instinctively try to shield herself. Now, He told her that she must be as silent as a mouse (that made her giggle) as He rubbed softly her bottom. He had her resume the position and told her to not move or make a sound, as He brought the belt back down seemingly harder than before and several more times in rapid succession. Silent tears feel as she tried to bite back the screams. 

He removed the plug leaving her feel empty for a few moments until she felt Him pressing against her. Burning ass and the feeling of Him was nearly too much but when He moved His hand around to manipulate her clit her body wanted to explode. He growled that she would wait and not cum, but even He wasn't sure she could control that. Quietly she begged and pleaded with Him to let her cum. Without mercy He fucked her ass and manipulated her, making her feel like His puppet on a string and engaged in a dance that felt endless. Finally, He told her to cum for Him, and her body shook as she let loose. This was the kind of orgasm that left her knees weak, that weird feeling is this love or polio? 

He eased off her back, knowing she'd be flattened if He stayed there. He rolled off and pulled her close to Him, right there on bedroom floor, He kissed and spooned His body against hers while she continued to tremble and quiver mentally unable to make words, but kissing and sucking His fingers rather instinctively, never mind she was tasting herself on that hand. The whole room smelled like sex. After He slid the plug back and kissed her back. He looked over her ass, seemingly pleased. Still red but didn't seem too bad. By this morning He said most of the redness was gone and there wasn't any bruising. In fact, He chuckled that her knees were more red than her ass. Rug burn.  The bruises He'd left behind from the other night were fading, her arm was turning more faint yellow, a 3/4 length sleeve covered it nicely, (her inner thighs and back as well were fading)  but her pussy still hurt and is probably bruised inside but feeling better than it was. 

One thing is true, Master didn't like hurting mouse that way He had the other night. He didn't like or enjoy the bruises He had caused and while He noted their presence, He hasn't really acknowledged them. Except He did ask if He had hurt her with that deep fuck and she struggled to be truthful and not diminish it because that's her first instinct. Master reminded her that she needs to be honest with Him even if the truth might unsettle Him. In the end she admitted that it had hurt and was still tender -- that He accepted and has avoided touching that area. 

As for us, Master and slave, we're doing just fine. 

8 comments:

claire said...

Good evening Mouse,

I am so happy I found your blog, in the few posts of yours I have read so far there is much that leaves me nodding away as I'm reading, and leaving me with a lot I would like to say, apparently I write in the same way I talk, which is far too much, I disagree but then it's a matter of opinion but yes well his opinion overrules mine. I should like to when time allows (my internet use is limited) to read back through your blog, gosh you have been blogging some time it might take me years :)

Do you make the pizza dough yourself? Fair credit to you if you do, pastry of any sort is not something I have been able to master and I do buy it fresh, I love cooking from scratch and perhaps it's something I should try more often, practice makes perfect as they say.

I'm not a masochist, yet my Master is a sadist, in the very beginning I naively as it turned out, thought that it would be something I would learn to enjoy, much like cooking, goodness I was a terrible cook many years ago, I was more of a out the freezer and straight into the oven kind of girl, and he was not having that, and consequently over the years I learned and consider myself a confident cook, so I figured why shouldn't enjoying pain or more specifically being aroused by it be any different? if I could learn to cook from scratch then I could learn to enjoy his sadism.

But that's not what happened, I don't enjoy it, well most of it rather I should say, and this has in the past caused me great upset, it hasn't deterred him from taking what he wants from me but yet I'm keenly aware that he holds back at times which leaves me conflicted, I'm relieved but yet also frustrated that I'm not able to give him all that he wants in those moments.

I was thinking mouse, you write so well of the intimate moments between you both you could write your own bodice ripper books that you like to read :)

best wishes
Claire



























Roz said...

Hi Mouse,

Sounds like some very intense moments with contrasting feelings and outcomes. I do get what you said about had you been warned in the first scenario.

Hugs
Roz

mouse said...

Claire,

You’re very kind! Yes, mouse does make her own pizza dough, it’s easier than trying to bake bread or anything else. Like you, mouse over the years, by necessity, developed some decent cooking skills. Baking and breads are not quite as developed (cookies and things like that aside).

Wouldn’t worry about your Master holding back, it’s His choice and it seems you’ve been together a long time, so He should know where the lines are drawn, and when to start pushing out the lines.

As for writing...no, it’s not for the lack of trying. Here, our life, is easy to write about. It’s us and who we are. It’s just like a stream of consciousness thing. Remembering the sensations...

Thank you for reading!

Hugs,
mouse

mouse said...

Roz,

Yes that exactly. It’s rare (especially lately) that mouse would ever attempt to top him from the bottom, but he really did sorta have His slave a bit freaked out.

We talked about it since it was published, so we’re very good.

Hugs,
mouse

julie said...

Glad things are good again after all of this. The opening bit of the post had me remembering a couple of years ago when Master dropped his phone into a canal during a boating holiday. Next thing he was in the water trying to retrieve it! Sadly he couldn't reach it and getting a new one was quite the saga.

mouse said...

Julie,

Master is usually very careful with His phone. Many years ago, one of His brothers and He were fishing on the lake, they may have been arguing about something, the boat was a small rowboat, anyway it capsized sending them both into the water, and His precious Blackberry was in His pocket.

Since then He rarely takes His phone out at the lake and never by the water. Maybe pools will be added to His future safety measures.

Hugs,
mouse

willie said...

Over the years our house has been quite different than both yours's and Claire's. B discovered his sadistic side because of D/s. He has had quite the time adjusting to it, and controlling it. It has been challenging for me to embrace ( definitely NOT the right word) the pain aspect in a way that allows him to grow in an area, I'd rather not explore if I am to be frank.

I to hate the pain, and often disassociate myself from it, or internally fume while going through it. BUT after I am extremely submissive (most times ;) ) because I managed to provide him with what he desired/needed at the time. I also feel a certain amount of pride from my 'war wounds'. For me the war is often far greater in my head than the pain at times, because in our case I know I could say something and it would bring him back out of that headspace, yet I try so desperately not to. He doesn't often check the bruising if it is somewhat unintentional, though he does love to look at his marks he has left. That novelty seems to wear off within the first 12 hours for him though. He said they are in his mind so he no longer has to look.

I LOVE being submissive, but most days I think I could certainly be that way without the physical aspect. Rituals, protocol, rules, limitations, submissive exercises can often bring me where I need to be without pain, because as you said, it is the power exchange or loss of control that gets the juices flowing. Sadly my body betrays me and I too wondered for a bit if I was a masochist. A Sadistic friend of mine explained to me exactly what you discovered with your Master, that a Sadist wouldn't be content with a masochist long term ( though I know there are exceptions to every 'rule') however life is still complicated here as I said because I have to be the one to encourage something I'm not so sure I'd have in my life by choice. LOL.

Okay I'm prattling on and on here. Sorry about that. Maybe some day I'll be brave enough to write on my own damn blog about it! I enjoyed reading this post. Not only was it well written (as usual) but it reminded me that regardless of where B is at, my mind is not so different than some who have been doing this for years from a Dom instigated dynamic. It made me think, but also made me feel not so much like my usual fish out of water. So thank you.

willie.

PS. @ Claire, I do make my own pizza crust as well- not that I enjoy it overly, so maybe I am a masochist . lol

mouse said...

Hi Willie

Thanks for your wonderful thoughts! It's darned confusing at times, Master knows that mouse for the most part enjoys everything He does to her, but He knows that she's got a mix of balking and surrendering that He finds especially pleasing. He knows when He say slaps her face to get her attention or whatever, He can clearly say how much she hates it and yet accepts it. Most women He's been with who were more masochistic types, would love it or pretend to hate it while they really loved it. He wants her to fight him a little, to cry and whine that whatever hurts but in a real way and then that moment of surrendering to Him is especially intoxicating to Him. Because He knows she will give up to Him every time but it's never simple.

Big hugs,
mouse