Choices

Life is full of them, some easy and some hard. Some merely difficult. I've known for some time now that our firm hasn't been doing well. We've lost clients, and mostly because of the economy. We're also smaller with fewer than a hundred total employees. Our sister firm, seems more stable, larger, maybe cheaper with better people. They employ roughly over a thousand people, strewn out across the country and the world. We've always a collaboration, and recently merged in the legal sense. It made sense for us since we do the same type of work.

So, we knew that eventually the axe would fall. There is a certain amount of nervousness that occurs when people know they will lose their jobs. You don't want to exactly jump ship but you don't want to be left playing Nearer My God to Thee either. You wait and see if they give you a lifeboat.

Next month our firm is closing it's doors. Certain staff will be moved to the now main firm. Mostly the high level people, their secretaries, admin assistants, research staff and support. Lower people, like reception, facilities, purchasing and accounting will be let go. As will a lot of management.

That's where I am, as independent contractor and manager of research. This places me in a good position. It's not like when I first worked Alpha and Omega, and was branded the corporate whore. I know I've made my bones. And this firm knows me. I used to work for them back in the whore days.

I've been offered a job by them. They tendered the offer Monday. It's nice. More money than I make now but as an employee instead of an independent contractor. If I don't take it, there is another offer, where they buy me out of my contract, and add severance pay. Together they add up to more than a years worth of salary. Or 11 months of new salary.

The point is I'm not worried. Omega was worried that I was worried, but I'm not and I'm not sure why. Naturally he likes the idea of working with me again and I'm rather hesitant about that. I know it's different now. No one will think me a whore for sleeping with a partner. I do kinda think however that people will assume that because I'm sleeping and living a partner, my job is secure. Or more secure and perhaps they'd be right in that.

I'm not sure but still I'm not worried. Even though I've lost most of my retirement, along with a lot of other people over the past couple years with the stock market tanking so badly. No worries.

Omega has assured me that no matter I do, I have his support. He said if I want to quit, I should quit and take the money. I could invest it for the future. He said for me not to worry about money--I think the implication there is clear.

That worried me. Omega knows I've always been financially independent. Even when I was with Alpha, I maintained my own bills and accounts, I had an apartment I never went to--well, until he made me go. Do I want to put myself, say a year from now, in a position of possible financial insecurity?

Omega, to his credit, was being supportive when he said that. He wants to help. Let's face he's a man, he wants to fix it. They always want to fix everything. Isn't like placing all your eggs in one basket and running?

It's like either way, if I take the job or not, I'm thoroughly tethered to Omega.

Maybe I should be worried just a little bit. I know he'd feel better if I were.