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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Confusion

It was warm today, and Omega came home from work, we did our non-sexual healing thing, and took the dog for a long walk through the woods by our home. We talked, holding hands and exchanging glances. His day wasn't so great, but he was feeling better about it. We walked home talking about dinner options, and I cooked while he did some work.

We talked later about trust, and how to get it back. He worries about the next time we scene or engage in heavy play. If I feel overwhelmed or terrified, will I safe word? The bigger question we're discovering is was I even capable of safe wording at that moment? I don't know if I was. That's a scary place to be for both of us. He kind of suspected as much, but wasn't sure. This weekend we're going to try some play and we'll see how it goes.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Have you considered the possibility of creating a scene or two for the which the objective would be for you to practice stopping it?

Just a thought.

Omega said...

J,
Your thoughts are similar to my own. I'm considering a scene on Friday evening, with similar elements though not exactly the one that bothered her so. Going according to the scientific method, is it an element of that scene or amalgamation or something else entirely? I want to break it down and see.

She is not keen to do this, but wants to know too. I am hopeful that we can figure it out together. Maybe it is something that would not happen again anyway. It will have to be harsh enough to make her want to safeword, I must use great caution to that end.
Omega

Anonymous said...

i wish you both the best!! i hope the scene goes well this weekend.