This morning in my blog Briseis said...
The words "self protect" has had me thinking, how can a slave keep this from her Master? Isn't it His body mind and soul, the fact you are called a slave to me means you have given up the self protection and to place trust in the hands of your Master, a slave might hope that He will see you but then trust that He loves His slave enough to care for her as a valued girl. My Master would never accept the term "self protect" I know, but that is what I feel is so special, He controls me, all of me and I offer no resistance to Him, for he is my true Master. I know He would see this as bratty behavior on my part and a excuse for having a limit. Just my thoughts. I love how our blogs and ideas makes us all think and examine this wonderful lifestyle.
hugs,
~briseis~
I'm trying to work out a reply to your comment that doesn't sound defensive on my part, because I truly mean no disrespect to you or to your Master. However I'm not sure you understand that I went through immense psychological and physical torture at the hand of Alpha, who was also a close friend of Omega. My need to self-protect was irrational but at the time, I believed it was needed because I was afraid that if Omega understood how perversely damaged I was he would leave. I would be too much work, too broken. It occurred to me he might not believe his friend was capable of such abuse...if he did know then where was he when it was going on? If he knew what I basically allowed to be done under the guise of submission and slavery, he would NOT want anything to do with me--I WAS TOO BROKEN and unworthy! I would hope that any slave placed into a situation that creates, by her Master, a feeling that she is just not submissive enough to submit to real mental and physical torture, would run, not just walk from that relationship. Nor would they just give in and submit. I was very young and told NOTHING about this lifestyle, I was told I had no voice, no choice or limits and I believed him -- yes in the beginning I trusted him and by the time I realized what was really going on I was afraid to leave. I was completely isolated by what seemed my own choice from everyone in my life. I believe it was a self-imposed exile, but it was really at his hand. I was afraid that I would lose my job; the way I made a living. Yes, he had that power over me and though he never said he would use it, I still feared it. Had I left could I just continue to work for him? If I found another job and the new employer called for a reference would he be the one given the phone????
These are very valid questions that abused women (and men) all over struggle with each day. His grooming of me started two years before he ever fucked me in the ass. My submission to him was NEVER in question. When it started getting really bad, YES I did take measures to try to self-protect, since he was VERY unpredictable when he drank. I knew I couldn't leave him but I did what I needed to do to just to survive another day. Twice in our relationship I believe I would have died, once Omega was there to save me, the other time the police were called by a concerned neighbor. I never once pressed charges or considered it because I couldn't. There were no laws in place at that time for the police to proceed without my testimony. Plus he knew all the police and was friends with the local DA, so yeah if I had that courage, it is still a good ol boys network.
So, yeah I do believe that all consensual slaves because lets face it, there are NO real slaves in this country, since Lincoln freed them, have a right and I'll say it, obligation to self-protect. Not every Master thinks about the future, or life without them in it. Not every Master has his property's best interest at heart or considers the long-term ramifications of his slave's mental health if god forbid she is forced to go on without him. I know for a fact, I would NOT be here today if Alpha wasn't diagnosed with cancer and I still deal with the feelings of guilt because I actually felt some relief when it became clear the cancer was terminal. To pick up broken pieces of her youth and wonder how she could ever put them back and become despondent that she simply can't alone. Therapists going on about battered woman syndrome and not understanding thoroughly I was not just abused some vanilla but a Master who should have known better. Not all Masters out there are like Omega and Sir J, who actually deeply care that their slaves and all their property is well tended. There are some that have done horrible that would shatter trust, all under the guise of submission. I certainly know Omega's character, and I think I have decent understanding of Sir J's from his blog and I know neither would consider doing what Alpha did to me or anything like that.
I know this is sounding very defensive on my part. I do understand that you feel very blessed by your relationship with your Master and that is wonderful that you do and for anyone reading this who is bless that way. However there are women and men out there who do need to know that it is okay to self-protect. I can only scream it so loud, so I use my blog in the hopes that if someone in trouble comes across it and reads it, they will have courage to stand up and say no more. This lifestyle is not about diminishing a person, but lifting them up. If it doesn't lift them, something is definitely wrong! If a Master puts a slave or sub into a moral or ethical dilemma then something is wrong! It becomes perverse and almost Charlie Manson cult-like with this blind worship that says I can ONLY follow. Where the little voice inside is ignored until it's completely extinguished and eradicated.
I'm sorry but I think I'm going to take a break. I don't mean to say that I'm questioning Omega, but suddenly I find myself overwhelmed with these emotions--my inner feminist which was supposed to be the light-hearted topic for today is screaming and for once I'm listening. I'm feeling very emotional and even a bit hurt though I understand there was no intent of harm.
--mouse
In fact this is so important that I've started two new categories called abuse and self-protection.