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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The good life...

Yes!  Live!  Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!
                       --Auntie Mame, 1958
Life really is a banquet and there are a lot out there who don't know how starving they are.  They play pretend and think they understand but they don't have a clue.  When I was a little girl I used to play dress up in my mom's clothes, it didn't make me a grown-up, and it certainly didn't prepare me for life--at least the life I was going to lead.  Omega is my touchstone and I'm grateful to him.  He doesn't tell me what to think, many of our views are different but some things we do agree on.   The things we don't agree on add a flavor to our discussions that I wouldn't trade for anything.  

I have nothing against pretend but no matter how real the movie or that ride at Disneyland feels it is still just pretend.  No one really goes to hell on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.   For years I waited and watch the banquet go by, using Alpha often as an excuse for not trusting.  Placing my faith in the wrong man, once, just solidified my position.  Omega was at the banquet, not regularly but he was out there looking at least.  One of my fears when we first got together was that he was settling because he didn't find his "other."  He laid those fears to rest in the first moments when he said to me that he was now home.   

I see people all day long at work texting constantly, so much so I've now had to ban the use of cell phones during work hours.  Do I actually need to go into work on a day I'm supposed to be working from home, and explain to my staff that texting is NOT working?  Then I hear the water-cooler talk about meeting on Facebook to chat or updating their status on Twitter.  I'm sorry I don't twit.  Or is it tweet? I don't care either.   What people do in the privacy in their mother's basements or childhood bedrooms, is none of my business.   What they do at work however is.  The thing is I have to wonder with all that technology are they really living or going through the motions?  

I know a lot about hiding, afraid of putting myself out into the real world because I did that for years after Alpha.  I was afraid of the banquet so I avoided it by throwing myself into work and telling everyone that knew me how happy I was to be alone.  In some ways, it was liberating to be on my own and accountable to no one, save for myself.  I guess when I got my dog, I realized I was kinda tired of being by myself, but still not ready to rejoin the banquet of life.  Being around Omega changed those feelings.  He brought me out into the sun, and made me look at the stars. He brought me back to the banquet and I'm so happy he did.  


  1. good post. If I may add my two cents. I saw an article on the BBC were tweeter was analyzed and 40% of the content was meaningless updates, like "out in park now..." People find entertainment where they like and can make up their own minds what they enjoy. I guess the question is really, is life just a spectator sport. I struggled with this several years ago as the hectic pace of family life bogged me down. I came to the decision, that MY life is not a spectator sport, but to live content, I needed to be true to myself. I think it is Shakespeare who said, "To thy own self be true". I have found it is not that easy and takes calm and effort to uncover my own truth. This did lead me to the WLM dynamic change after several years.


  2. I sorta agree with s-h, on the whole facebook and twitter. The one thing I do find about the two is it can bring people together who arent local to each other. Unfortunately most of my closest friends live out of state. Through twitter she can post crazy silly crap and I can comment and its like the "good ole days". At least it can bring a smile to my face randomly throughout the day. The good thing is all mine are set up through my phone so I wouldnt be tethered to a computer to do that. I'm glad you realize you have a good life. Too often people dont see that until its too late. I know I have a great life, its just at a cross roads right now. *hugs*

  3. What a lovely banquet life is.. *smiles*

  4. For so many, technological interaction is just another wall put up so people don't have to face the fact that they *aren't* enjoying the banquet life offers.

    We all have walls, but frankly... with all the "social networking" going on, it's ironic that people are still the same old Joe (or Jane or whoever) when they meet folks face-to-face. For any kind of enjoyment of life to happen, we have to work on the walls themselves, destroying them one brick at a time, or smashing them to bits....not hide behind new ones.

    i really enjoy your blog, mouse! :)

  5. Great to see that Omega brought you back to the banquet of life. And the good thing is that you seem to be enjoying the banquet. I hope that continues for both of you.

    As far as Twitter, I don't get the 140 character limit. Hard to say much in that limit.


  6. Mouse,

    Just curious, are you in some way responsible for these people at work? Are these folks part of your team, in some fashion or just co-workers?

  7. s-h, I really don't get the whole twitter thing, which is nothing but is about the same as those silly status updates (aka what are you doing now) on Facebook, and now myspace and the rest.

    kitty, yes twitter, FB can be useful to keeping in contact with friends that would otherwise fall by the wayside, however texting the employee in the cubical next to you is not something I'd think needs keeping in touch.

    Gray, I love the rocks.

    schiava, I think your right on! I think it used as a wall to keep people back. Just like playing games online with strangers. What does anyone truly know about those people they're spending their time with?

    FD Sir, I think it will continue. I really don't really get the twitter thing, kitty's example aside, do I really to update if I use the potty?

    Magnus Sir,

    Yes I am their manager...bleh We all have responsibilities, they have a job to do and I have to pick up the slack when they don't. I really don't care how they spend their time as long as the work is done. But when six projects are behind and the "team leaders" are all sitting back with their feet up and fingers flying in text messages...sighs...

    There's going to be some fat trimming in the future. I hate the idea in this economy but...


  8. Fantasy is fun... but it's not life. I've hidden in it for years and it wasn't until recently that I finally joined life again. It's been hard, but it's been great too.

    And as far as the employees... you gotta do what you gotta do. If they don't want to do their jobs, I'm sure there's someone out there who is more willing to get things done. Don't think of it as putting someone out in a bad economy... you'll be opening the door for someone else who is willing to do the work and really needs the job.

    I applaud you on being able to handle that kind of position, though. I couldn't do it... I wouldn't have the patience. I've been offered managerial positions before at various jobs and I've always turned them down. I just didn't think I'd be able to handle the stress.


  9. the whole wireless thing is being a very hot topic in every workplace. I don't get those people who abuse it - it is no different than wasting time farting around talking too much to workmates, being chronically late, etc - if you're using distraction to avoid duties, then on your head be it....

    for the record, I think twitter is the most pointless, narcissitic boring thing EVER - but that's just me.

    I love the metaphor for the banquet ... I'm sorta taking a time out right now and that sorta describes it very well.

  10. I am willing to bet there are those who hide behind their electronic tools but there are also others for whom it is a lifeline. However, at work, social-networking can be a time-waster and when abused must be limited to ensure productivity.

    On the receiving end, there are many times I want to yell at people, "Stop IMing me I am at work!". I keep it open since my colleagues and I use it to communicate real-time at work. But often, someone just wants to shoot the breeze and I can't - I'm busy.


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