Life really is a banquet and there are a lot out there who don't know how starving they are. They play pretend and think they understand but they don't have a clue. When I was a little girl I used to play dress up in my mom's clothes, it didn't make me a grown-up, and it certainly didn't prepare me for life--at least the life I was going to lead. Omega is my touchstone and I'm grateful to him. He doesn't tell me what to think, many of our views are different but some things we do agree on. The things we don't agree on add a flavor to our discussions that I wouldn't trade for anything.Yes! Live! Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!
--Auntie Mame, 1958
I have nothing against pretend but no matter how real the movie or that ride at Disneyland feels it is still just pretend. No one really goes to hell on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. For years I waited and watch the banquet go by, using Alpha often as an excuse for not trusting. Placing my faith in the wrong man, once, just solidified my position. Omega was at the banquet, not regularly but he was out there looking at least. One of my fears when we first got together was that he was settling because he didn't find his "other." He laid those fears to rest in the first moments when he said to me that he was now home.
I see people all day long at work texting constantly, so much so I've now had to ban the use of cell phones during work hours. Do I actually need to go into work on a day I'm supposed to be working from home, and explain to my staff that texting is NOT working? Then I hear the water-cooler talk about meeting on Facebook to chat or updating their status on Twitter. I'm sorry I don't twit. Or is it tweet? I don't care either. What people do in the privacy in their mother's basements or childhood bedrooms, is none of my business. What they do at work however is. The thing is I have to wonder with all that technology are they really living or going through the motions?
I know a lot about hiding, afraid of putting myself out into the real world because I did that for years after Alpha. I was afraid of the banquet so I avoided it by throwing myself into work and telling everyone that knew me how happy I was to be alone. In some ways, it was liberating to be on my own and accountable to no one, save for myself. I guess when I got my dog, I realized I was kinda tired of being by myself, but still not ready to rejoin the banquet of life. Being around Omega changed those feelings. He brought me out into the sun, and made me look at the stars. He brought me back to the banquet and I'm so happy he did.