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Friday, February 19, 2010

Isolation

Being in this lifestyle is sometimes very isolating.  Dealing with people who believe it's an excuse to be rude, or to excuse rudeness.  I dunno, it's all so frustrating at times.  Omega is always respectful to me, unless we're playing but other wise the words please and thank you are always heard.  He opens doors, holds the chair for me, in short he treats me like a lady.  It's nice.  I'm different when I'm around that kind of treatment.  Honestly, I'm much more lady-like.  Even if my mood is bad, or I'm feeling cranky, he can usually get me out of it, with a simple gesture.  


Some suggest this isn't Domly behavior.  Ya, he can tell me to get on knees and call me a bitch, but he finds it so much nicer when I'm on knees because I want to be, rather than just because he commanded it.  I know some women like to be forced to do everything, but that just isn't me.  I'm respectful to everyone I meet, but with some I just have to struggle to be the respectful woman Omega wants me to be.  I dunno maybe I just believe that respect is something earned, not just handed because of whatever the reason.  I don't respect my boss just because he's my boss.  I respect him because he's good at what he does and is fair.  I dunno maybe I'm just questioning everything these days.  Including my slavery.  


In other news, working from home is a huge adjustment.  I dunno how I'm going to do everything, it seems with one exception nothing is getting done.  A's schooling comes first.  It seems everything else comes second.  I know what the order should be but I guess I haven't found my groove.  


I guess it's lonely at the bottom.  I miss the office, I miss my friends, even the ones that don't understand me at all.


I miss blogging, but hopefully as things settle down I'll be doing that again.  Most of all tho, I really miss reading and leaving comments on everyone's blogs.  







9 comments:

  1. Hello,

    Though I am totally submissive rather than considering myself a slave, my master talks to me kindly although he makes me do many humiliating and embarrassing things.

    Sometimes the voice he uses is harsh but for me I would not like it if he was totally nasty to me with words, I think it would upset me.

    Anyway, luv your blog.

    Jayne xx

    www.jaynessubmissivediary.com/

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  2. And we miss you.
    But you'll find the groove. That just takes a while. Then all will be hunky-dory once more.
    :-)

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  3. I understand completely. When my lil one was born I decided to work from home as well. It's been almost 3 years now. And there are weeks I am going crazy!!

    I hope you can find a groove that keeps you happy and sane!:)

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  4. Hi,
    My Dom is very considerate and respectful of me as well. He has the same attitude of he will get more out of me if he treats me with respect than he will if he is overly harsh. He's right, I tend to be more rebellious if disrespect is attached to his instructions. So in all actually, we both get more out of our D/s relationship by treating each other with respect. I respect his command over me and he respects me as the sub and lady he needs me to be.

    Also, I completely understand how this life is isolating and lonely at times. That is what drove me to find a place where I can read the thoughts of other submissive women. Only one person in this world knows me as the true submissive woman that I am. Walking through life with my self imposed facade wears me down at times, but when it does, my Dom reads into it and helps me by being the Dom that he is.

    Hang in there. Things will settle down and you'll get back into your groove.

    Irony's Sub

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  5. It is strange at first when you start working from home after being in an office but you'll get used to it. Discipline is the answer, self discipline that is :)

    Have a good weekend.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  6. The thing that jumped off the page to me was this...

    "I dunno maybe I'm just questioning everything these days. Including my slavery. "

    I'm not certain I'm interpreting this correctly. If you think O needs to be more strict I would presume he would accomodate you. But it seemed more as if you were questioning yourself. I would say you seem to be securely wrapped around O's finger. The question is, are you still happy there? You seem as dedicated and self-sacrificing as ever. If you are still happy in the relationship then I think you need not question your slavery. It seems more likely to me that you are just trying to adjust to the new lifestyle of work at home and prioritize the kid. Try to relax and let things settle. Once you find your routine you'll be all right. Miss you too. Be well.

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  7. I don't think that, in order to be dominant, you have to treat someone rudely. Yeah, sometimes I like it when Daddy treats me roughly or calls me certain things, but we both know it's all in play. I believe that a true D/s relationship is based on a huge amount of love and trust, and, in my mind, respect goes hand in hand with those!

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  8. i understand that D/s is different from couple to couple. I just like you prefer to feel cared for rather than abused. my greatest joy is to serve my husband but it comes from place of respect , love and admiration not abuse and fear. however not many subs i met understand the TPE dynamic or my desire to belong and be controlled and please my husband 24/7. so i too feel lonely at times. one thing i am certain of is that submission comes from within the subs heart not from the force of her Master.

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    Replies
    1. Omega has always maintained that it's too easy to tell a woman to kneel, but far sexier to see her kneel because it's what she wishes to do.

      It's nice the message mouse was trying to convey years ago, wasn't lost and still resonates today. Thank you for reading.

      Hugs,
      mouse

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