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Tuesday, March 2, 2010


I'm not talking about book banning, but really something else.  Yesterday I ran across a blog post, read it, made note to comment but got busy and honestly forgot.  Today, during a moment of downtime, I intended to go back and comment.  Just a word of encouragement, chin up type of thing. 

I found the post had been removed.  This isn't really about that as much as it is about me, which is why I'm not mentioning the blog in question as it's just one of the many I quietly follow and sometimes comment on.  See, O has made me do that.  Remove a post.  At the time I never questioned it, just did as he asked, and of course I apologized to him and the readers of this blog.

But...was that really the right thing to do?  Was whatever I had written that wrong?  It was my feelings, my emotions and right or wrong my thoughts.  Isn't that the purpose of blogging at least for me?  The truth was when O did that it bothered me a lot.  Was I supposed to censor myself?  Edit out anything that wasn't agreeable?  Sometimes I do wrap things around my head wrong, or see things that just aren't there but does that mean that each time, I'm supposed to edit and remove whatever it was?  How is that accurate?  At that moment that was how I felt or how I believed I had interpreted what O said.  If I got it wrong well that could be fixed later.  He could correct it by commenting, or asking me to add something.  

He has access to my blog he could have put up his own post about how wrong I was, or did that in his own blog. Anything.  He didn't.  Instead he made me remove my words.  For a while I even had to pre-approve my topics so I didn't offend him or get into trouble.

Is that crossing a line? Asking a slave or sub or whatever, to pull a blog post because they don't agree with the content, maybe because it's just too emotional?  Even if it is wrong, or a giant misunderstanding, does that give the Dom, Domme or whoever the right to censor what is written by their property?  I mean of course it does, but should they use that right, or should they pull up the big boy (or girl) pants, discuss the problem, fix it and leave the post up there as a reminder for better communication for the future?  


slave isabelle said...

Greetings mouse,

Well, the girl will say that the title of your post really caught her eye today and it is a topic she to has some experience with, mixed feelings about, and a ton of other thoughts.

Today was the first time Master has ever asked the girl to remove a post from her blog, which the girl did as told. The girl did ask as to why and Master did explain his reasons for wanting it gone. So the girl did understand the reasons behind it; reasons which only served to make the girl feel horrible for having posted the entry to begin with.

However, rather than remove the post completely the girl left the entry and simply changed the text to "Master has ordered the removal of this post." The girl had a problem with simply removing the post from existence and acting like it never existed, for it did, the emotions, feelings, thoughts leading to that post are part of the girl and she will not deny them their existence.

In the girl's case the entry was causing unintended side affects, some rather nasty negative side affects too. Those that know the girl tend to be extremely protective of her; defend her; come to her aid when needed; and look out for her. When they saw the pain in the girl's post they started to lash out at those who they presumed to be responsible for that pain. The other people found themselves on the receiving end of some very nasty messages, told they were no longer welcome by the local group they attend, and only they know what else. This was never the girls intention of her post and she regrets having made that particular post public.

Since Master and the girl are well known in the local community, along with that comes a certain level of responsibility. Sometimes the girl does not realize the impact of what she writes has on others, particularly those who know her and apparently many who only know her through her writings.

So, while the girl does not agree with censoring her thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc. she can and does understand the occasional need to do so...

Peace and love,
slave isabelle owned and collared by Sir Rick

spirited one said...

Wow... that's an interesting question. I can't imagine a situation where Asha would ask me to remove something I've posted, but that doesn't necessarily mean it wouldn't happen. I have removed my own posts before simply because I felt like I wasn't clear in my meaning and I felt like it would just be easier to start over.

I suppose there could be times when it's appropriate for a dominant to censor a subs posts. For instance, if the sub/slave says something that could be used against them in some way. In that case it would be in their best interest to remove it.

I don't know if it's good if the dominant simply doesn't like what the submissive said, though. To me that would just be another form of trying to keep the submissive from expressing what she is feeling at the time. I think it that case, it would be better just to talk about the issue and blog about the result of that discussion later.

For one, it gives a realistic view of the issues couples face in this lifestyle. And it can also help those having similar issues to find ways to work through their problems using your outcome as an example.


MagnusCattus said...


Slave Isabelle just saved me a whole lot of time. For the most part I agree with her. But what you seem to be asking is not would a dom do this, but would a GOOD dom do this. That answer can only come from your world, and your point of view.

Vesta said...

mouse: I don't know if this helps but I've been asked to take down a blog post a couple of times. In one case, my husband felt that I was harming myself and that the reader was not entitled to know everything. I saw the wisdom in that since I can be impulsive in what I write.

Before my mentor was my mentor and just my friend he noted the same thing - the impulsivity - and encouraged me to hold onto posts for a day or two before publishing.

In another situation, the case was made that I had used a photograph given to cindi on Vesta's blog (cindi has her own blog) and seeing the error as soon as it was pointed out, I just removed the whole post, wanting nothing more to do with it.

It is a sensitive issue but since it has rarely every happened, when I am asked to do so, I listen carefully.

I'm so pleased to hear how settled and content you sound, by the way.