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Friday, March 26, 2010

Fair use and confusion.

Yesterday O "usurped" my blog (I kinda preferred to think of it as hijacking) and I sat kinda bruised over what he wrote.  

I thought about it for a long time, and thought what should I do now?  Change the name of my blog from A slave's tale to something else?  Here's the weird thing, I didn't disagree with what he wrote or how he wrote it.  It was fine logical, and made a lot of sense.  But at the same time, it hurt me and the person I am.  

I don't want to be chattel, I don't want to be used and thrown away after.  But I do identify with the idea of being a slave.  I mean, I have given myself and everything over to O.  Even my blog can be used by him.  I found it ironic that the very point he was making, he was making on my blog when he has one of his own.  Maybe that falls under the whole head of house thing.  

It's taken me a long time to come to terms with for lack of better word the slave inside, and make friends with her and now I feel dirty.  Last night I asked O if I should still call him Master or Sir or what?  He said, "how about Omega."  Later he agreed that while slave does carry negative ideas, Master really doesn't and if I wish to still call him Master I can.  

Can I scream this is NOT fair?  Am I hung up on a title I'm not entitled to have?  He can call me shithead for all I care, so why is this bothering me so?  

But then I come back to this idea that what we have is so wonderful do I really want it associated with something else so horrible?  Guess it's time for a change of ideas.  

I guess it's just part of the journey.  


  1. I hear ya sista! A scream away... but not too loud. My head hurts.



  2. Mouse,

    What about submissive? If you read my latest post you saw that that is the "Title" my family has always used. It accurately describes the situation in a clearly understandable manner, and better yet it is specifically correct.

    Let me offer a thought, and I ask that you not let it take you to a bad place. But you've been very honest on your blog about Alpha and what that experience was like for you. You appear to me to have basically stayed out of fear of leaving, out of being manipulated into it, emotionally forced into it. True enough, a call to a womens shelter will get you out of the situation, but I think we all know that it is often harder than it sounds.

    Now consider why you stay with Omega. How would he react if you said you wanted to leave? Would he threaten you? Guilt you into staying? Try to convince you that you were to weak and incapable, and needed to stay for your own good?

    I believe that like my Ladies for me, you stay with Omega because you want to. You choose to, if not consciously then unconsciously, hour by hour and day by day. Slaves don't have a choice, that's the point. But for a submissve to offer the total dedication of her entire being in any and all ways, now that is a truly rare and precious gift. And to be blunt, not many women can do it. It takes a level of trust a lot of people could never offer.

    After all, anyone could snatch you, rape you, and with physical strength and by chains and whips force you to clean the house and serve the food. How many men can make you EAGER to do that for them, long to do that for them? Being his submissive actually says so much more about the depth of your relationship and affection than being his "Slave" ever could.

    1. i still maintain that labels are not necessary as the are misunderstood by many. however what you wrote is beautiful and so true, to me ! thank you

  3. MC Sir,

    Thank you for your comment, I swear you must have ESP or something.


  4. I will admit i read only bits and pieces of what was written as i have not had reasonable computer access lately, but i will say this:

    IMHO: The differences between slave and submissive are motivation and mindset. Submissives typically still think of themselves in being pleased. They want, desire, and seek what they want and desire. Slaves are more devoted to the one they serve and are more motivation by the 'Owners' happiness than reward or return. Mindset is simply that. In your heart of hearts, are you slave? Are you owned, with no choice of walking away? The definition of slave is "a person who is owned by someone" (google define). Property. A car is property, as is a couch, and neither can leave of their own accord. Submissive "inclined or willing to submit to orders" or "In BDSM, a bottom or submissive is the partner in a BDSM relationship or a BDSM scene who takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role, to that of the top or dominant" Choices. Choose to obey, choose to seek freedom.... Choice and mindset and motivation....

  5. MC Sir, my comment about calling an abuse shelter was not meant to imply that it was an easy choice, merely that it was an available one, one that true slaves, who were owned as property and not merely treated as such, did not have.

    I, too, have lived in a deeply abusive relationship, one which might have been called slavery but with an abuser rather than a Master. It *isn't* easy in the least, but it *is* possible.

    Therein lies the difference between a true slave and a consensual slave. Padrone has often told me that i have no more choices in our relationship, except whether or not to leave. I am there because I choose to be, not because I am forced to be, as *any* consensual slave is, no matter how harshly she is treated. There is always a way out, legally.

    Maybe I am kind of clueless, but I really don't understand the "flak" over a label...isn't how one lives one's relationship far more important than what one calls oneself?

    mouse, why not call the "inner, deeply submissive" part of your personality...mouse? Say you are Omega's mouse, it has as much meaning for you two personally as slave does for those who have no issue with that term, and it's intimate and personal and inoffensive (i don't think real mice care one way or the other), and you've worked so hard to integrate that part of you into your entire personality.

  6. Hey Ladybird,

    I don't think, and this is my opinion only for what it is worth, that O's comments encompassed your use of the word.

    Often when I hear that word used it is with a preening pretentiousness that stinks of look at me. When I 'hear' you speak it, it seems to be more representative of the state of your heart in relation to O in your life.

    Different, not trying to intimate the 'realness' of your state when compared to the historical reality of the word. I don't feel, perhaps I am wrong, but your words do not seem to equate your 'Slave's Tale' to Harriet Tubman's slave's tale. Instead it is more, whither thou goest, I will go,,,perhaps slave in the sense of having dedicated myself to you and my heart follows your lead, whatever that looks/feels like.

    I can't imagine it not being a slaves tale, just my opinion.


  7. Mouse, I'm slowly reading from your beginning through your journey. Even though you wrote this a while back, I wanted to comment.

    Perhaps we often get too caught up in titles and labels. Just because "slave" may no longer be chosen to label what you are, doesn't mean you are any less than what you were when you used such a label. Titles are oddly confusing. Seemingly they are there to make clear what a thing is or is not. However, as people put different definitions or interpretations with the same word things get misunderstood and confusing. Just remember that a title doesn't define you, you define you and no title or absence there of can change that.

  8. That's why I prefer being called a pet, because a pet still can serve as much as a slave but doesn't carry all those negative images.
    When I came into this lifestyle I was presented with the M/s and it never sat well with me because slavery to me just sounds like it it forced upon you while being a pet is a choice.

    I personally don't want to be named a slave but that's just how I feel. Everyone has a different way of looking at things. We all need to remember that it is just a word and a word is neither good nor bad

  9. dear mouse, dont know where to post this question. earlier you mention that O has his own blog , do you mean here ? his key words or does he have another one? also in the comment here is mentioned your blog about Alpha. again is itpart ot this blog or a different one ? cheers L


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