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Monday, April 19, 2010

Renewal

It's springtime here.  The flowers are blooming, which is always a too short event, but for a few weeks each year I'm in awe of the beauty of them.  I live in a place that's very green and I don't mean in an environmental type of way, although it is, I just mean we get a lot of rain so it's green.  Not a lot of people plant flowers aside from ground cover types.  People seem to like bulbs but nothing more exciting than daffodils or tulips.  


After the long winter months have passed it seems everyone is thinking about renewal, rebirth or whichever term you wish to coin for this.  Same is true of the blog world where thoughts there turn to submission, what it is, how to do it, or just that thing they do.  Everyone's a bit different it seems on their personal take.  I think I'd like to also think that Dominants don't get enough credit tho for what they do, and the gifts they offer to well the submissive.  


A smart Dominant knows what to take and what to wait for.  When to push and when to hold back.  There's a learning to curve to this because no two people are alike.  Some thrive under micromanagement, while others thrive in a looser way with more or less the freedom to decide what they do and how it's accomplished.  Omega typically falls in between both.  He would like to micromanage but has learned that's not always the best way to achieve the desired effect.  When we first got together, he noted gleefully that a cleaning or decluttering bug hits his mouse rather suddenly, often without much warning.  The mouse will begin to clean, toss out things long forgotten about, dust, vacuum, get into the nooks and crannies like an investigator on the prowl.  When this mood strikes her, few things can deter her and it's much like to her, as being on vacation.  However nothing kills the mood faster than for mouse to be in the mood for a little spring cleaning (regardless of the season) and be met by, "oh mouse while you're at it, why not clean out the drawers, go through the loft, clean the windows, paint the house, wash the car, clean the gutters, mow the lawn..."   Ok, maybe not most of that stuff but more likely it will be something like, clean the closet or my bathroom drawers.  


It kills the mood and the enjoyment, sucks the life right out of it.  I can't explain why that is, but the day to day drudgery of cleaning for Master sometimes just doesn't cut it.  It's really like going through the motions of dusting, vacuuming, scrubbing, and just doing it, like a kid eats their veggies only to get them off the plate.  It's not fun.  Omega has learned in the past year when the cleaning bug strikes mouse to not say anything.  To repress that oh-so-strong urge to offer advice or suggestions (albeit polite ones), but to keep his mouth closed and enjoy it.  He understands now that once he kills the urge it becomes simply a chore.  It kills almost instantly the pure pleasure of her service.   No one likes chores.  It wasn't always that way though.  


Omega had to carefully learn to modify his thinking.  Of course Omega is responsible for HUGE, enormous changes in mouse, but this is just one way that she helped change him a little bit.  


I think Dominants don't get enough credit for what they do, or sometimes don't do or say.  All the focus seems to be on their counterpart.  Dominants are, at least to me, not the great and powerful Oz (or Omega) but really the man behind the curtain.  Omega never has to demand submission of mouse or anyone else.  Instead it's offered to him freely and he never requires a public declaration because he understands submission is either present or not.  I don't have to tell him I submit to him...I show him that I submit to him each day in all the things I do.  It's never questioned.  He doesn't need to play games with her submission, or test her submission because it's always there.  


It's a delicate dance at times, taking all that's given without taking too much.  Remembering all the while that she strong but often vulnerable.  The stronger the Dominant the stronger his partner will have to be.  Omega finds his way, probably on a hand drawn map and knows the buttons to push to get the response he wants. Being dominant doesn't mean that he can just take...it means he gives too.  He gives his gift as freely as mouse gives hers.  Together they are companions, friends, sometimes adversaries, lovers  and at the end of the day he knows he really thoroughly owns her, not just because she's said its so.  But because he deserves it.  


Now if you'll excuse me the big cement stone O on the lawn needs a little cleaning.  



13 comments:

  1. I get the cleaning bug this time of year too! I adore tossing things out, clearing out the closet, moving furniture. But you are right, one wrong comment and it isn't fun. :(

    Happy Spring to you dear mouse!

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  2. not to be picky but I believe I said stone not cement, clearly cement would be so tacky.

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  3. Gray....ya funny how that is...isn't it?

    J Sir...you're right cement would be totally tacky. Fixed it!

    SBG...Thanks so much!

    Hugs to all...
    mouse

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  4. My cleaning bug goes a little differetly: the bigger the tedious/hard/unpleasant project/task/thing that absolutely needs to be done, the more intense the cleaning bug - i could scrub grout all day long. The 'voice of reason' tends to 'hint' that I ought to get my butt back to doing the thing that really needs doing - complete buzz kill.

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  5. greengirl...total buzz kill! Ya, I know I get stuck doing things like cleaning baseboards (that also need to be done) when the closet is completely wrecked and probably a little more important.

    Hugs,
    mouse

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  6. My mouse,

    You warm my heart.

    O

    P.S. I agree with my friend J, cement is rather garish. Granite much more apt ;-)

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  7. You know Omega how I feel.

    And I already fixed that! How do I know I'm never going to live that one down...LOL

    I love you!

    yours

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  8. Thanks for a different perspective on things. Yes, we do see a lot printed about the submissive, but I really like everythnig you say about the so-called Dominant. Not to offend any Doms out there, but it seems from reading more and more on the subject that the best Dominant is the most submissive in at least one sense of the word--making sure he is absolutely in touch with every nuance of his submissives feelings so he can properly guide her by catering to those feelings. In some sense, he is Dominating by being slavish. As I continue to try to define my relationship with my lizard, I would appreciate any feedback on that subject, especially from you or Omega, both of whom I have come to have great respect for.

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  9. DT,

    I beg to differ. The best Dom understands the nature of the submissive mind. One does not need to submissive to understand how it affects their actions. One only has to study them.

    Each woman is different and require a period of observation. Then you can plan a course, take action and begin to bring them forward. At the end of the day, you discover they are all, despite their need to feel unique, rather similar in their thought process. This requires experience, attention to detail, and myriad of other qualities.

    Omega

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  10. I think it's funny that I get in that mood this time of year even though it's actually fall here. I just haven't gotten used to the idea of spring beginning in September. So I do my spring cleaning in the fall... which feels like spring out here so I guess it really doesn't matter... then again... fall and winter is one long perpetual spring here.

    And I agree... Dom's really don't get enough credit for what they do. I wonder sometimes how Asha can do it... balancing his needs and desires with mine, so that neither of us is left wanting.

    *hugs*

    turiya

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  11. Beautifully written Mouse. :-)

    Maybe I'm not reading all the right blogs, but I haven't yet come across dominant's blogs where they write about their feelings as dominants and what the D/s relationship means to them on a emotional level - what it gives them. And not very much about their reasoning behind their manipulation (I don't mean this in a negative way) of the sub, how they use the tools of their craft, so to speak. And definitely not much about their own vulnerabilities in the relationship. (If anybody knows of such blogs, please give me a link, this interests me much.) Whereas submissives write a whole lot on these themes, and I think that these themes invite people to show support and appreciation more. I have read a couple of blogs that are shred by both parties, but tipically, the subs write about their the emotional part, the experience of subspace etc, and the dominant writes more about what they do to the sub. And maybe this is intrinsic to the different roles of the power exchange? Some time ago Mouse wrote about a discussion she and Omega had about smoke and mirrors, and maybe the dominant's part is a little bit like a magican, who needs to keep at least some of the tricks secret for them to enchant?

    (Sorry if I'm too verbose, these subjects really get my mind going.)

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  12. Oh my, was that a Freudian slip? I ment "shared", not "shred(ed)", of course. :-)

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