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Thursday, November 11, 2010

Back and forth

Good morning,

Yesterday in response to the blog post mouse put up, turiya over at Spirited Meanderings decided to a post of her own on being proactive.  It brought up a lot of great points on how the whole proactive slavery can be perceived by others.  Some might say that mouse isn't a true submissive or slave to Omega (and it's not like it hasn't been suggested before).  Some might accuse mouse from topping from the bottom (again that's happened before too).  Nothing can be further from the truth.  How on earth can opening your mind and thinking of special ways of being more pleasing be that?

Please don't misunderstand, Omega when it's important or mouse has seriously slacked off, has no problem what-so-ever pushing mouse into doing what needs doing.  He also has no problem with pushing new concepts or ideas on mouse.  And yes, sometimes mouse can be very stubborn in accepting new ideas or philosophies.  The difference is Omega then backs off of the pushing.  Like the old saying you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.  Omega can push ideas onto mouse, but he can't make her accept them.  Yes, nine times out of ten, mouse will just submit to the idea, but then she won't really be embracing the concept, just going along for the ride.  When the concept or idea is embraced it's like a world opens up in mouse's mind.

Of course what if the submissive totally misses the mark?  Then it would be up to the Dom to reign her in.

There for a while mouse would have a cocktail waiting for Omega when he got home from work, and the only reason was to be pleasing to him.  Now some evenings he didn't want a cocktail.  Omega said that while he appreciated the effort, it might be better if mouse waited until she heard from him.  It wasn't regarded as a major correction.  It was just the way he wanted it.

It seems also that a lot of people crave that constant level of control.  But it needs to be clear that being domineering isn't the same as being Dominant.  Anyone can boss another around, or even bully them into doing something they want.  Being a dominant isn't about doing that.  Just like being a slave doesn't mean being a doormat.  A dominant is the opposite of the submissive, but they need each other just the same.  Like being opposite sides of that same coin.  They're both needed and equally important in the relationship or dynamic.  Being in a M/s dynamic also doesn't mean that everything always runs smoothly.  Everyone has off days.  Or days when they don't feel very Dom or sub respectively.   When Omega is ill, mouse turns into a cranky nurse to him but only because she knows that things can go very wrong with him health wise.  The stress takes over and mouse is overwhelmed, while Omega just gets annoyed because he's ill and gets darn cross with mouse and her cranky nurse thing.  When he improves and feels better, mouse's stress lessens and she's about to concentrate more on the service side of things.

Part of whole thing about being pleasing, to mouse means that she wants to do things for her Master...she wants to lessen his load, and make his life a pleasurable as possible.  Does she miss the mark?  Oh ya...sometimes she just misreads the signals, but that in the long run doesn't matter.  What matters the most is that mouse tries.   And she'll keep trying.

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