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Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Will the mouse play?

Next week Omega is going away for a few days, business stuff...blah.  The point is, if there is any point to this post at all is that he'll be away for most of next week.  He hasn't traveled much since he started that new job back in the beginning of the year and not since...dunno.  Can't explain it but not since mouse became so needy.

Omega sent a text message with instructions yesterday afternoon, explaining that he needs to travel to the other coast.  He asked for mouse to pick up some things he'll need for the trip, and to take two of his suits to the cleaners.  Selfishly the first thought that came while starting the tasks was why now, what will mouse do while he's gone?  The feelings and emotions were paralyzing.

Later over dinner Omega explained more about the trip, and seemed excited about it all.  New York in the fall, yada yada yada...sometime during the conversation mouse mentally checked out.  Of course Omega noticed, but said nothing about it as mouse robotically tidied the kitchen.  Omega's greatest talent is for instinctively knowing when to give mouse mental space.  Maybe it's not that instinctive...maybe she was being downright pouty and sullen about the whole thing.

Omega put his arms around mouse as she took out his case and began packing it for him.  Ya, he's not leaving until Sunday...and ya, he'll totally repack it himself.  It just felt useful to start it for him.  Not sure what was expected but she asked again how long he'd be gone as she was reaching for his socks and underwear to pack.  Did he really 4 pairs?  Seems like an awful lot for a quick trip.  Maybe he'd only really need three pairs.  Three sounds better than four...it doesn't sound as long.  Of course at one time he used to spend nearly a quarter to half of the year traveling, so four days shouldn't be anything that would cause such complaints.

Of course those complaints were not voiced, at least by mouse until now.  It's selfish and wrong and what's worse mouse knows it.

5 comments:

  1. I get the same way, mouse. *big hug* I hope it goes by really fast!

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  2. It is so hard when you can't have him nearby. I have used my two weeks to focus of things that I know would bring pride to Monkey if he were here. Still so hard.
    XOXOX

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  3. Mouse,
    We have lived with him travelling every week for our entire relationship/marriage/dating (a pretty long time). And i still fight (often unsuccessfully) the pouty, mopey, angry response. I know it isn't his choice, and isn't fair to him, but it's one of the big things i do struggle with. It is starting to get a little better. Part of that is me now really knowing where i stand with him. The other part is lots of practice - if O's not travelling so often - maybe you don't want to consider lots of practice as an alternative. Good luck.

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  4. LB...so does mouse and thanks!

    Mindset...That's exactly what mouse is thinking about doing this time.

    greengirl....You're right...and really it bugs mouse that she's getting so pouty about it. He used to travel a lot more and mouse should be grateful he doesn't need to as much anymore.

    Thanks and hugs,
    mouse

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  5. I don't think it's selfish... I think it's perfectly natural that you don't want him to leave and that you are anticipating the void. I mean... I'd be a little worried if you were getting all excited about him leaving and didn't seem to care how long he'd be gone, ya know?

    I think your feelings are just another expression of your love for him... you just want him near you and there's nothing wrong with that.

    *hugs*

    turiya

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