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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

If you get confused, listen to the music play

Good morning,

We've been in a good mood lately.  Our connection is fascinating and overwhelming at times, how deeply it runs.  It's like picking up your cell phone moments before a text comes through and you know who it's from before looking.   Truthfully this mouse never believed such incredible bliss could be found.  Never before has she felt so safe and cared for.  He's always taken care of mouse, but as a sadist would, keeping himself distant.  When mouse needed to cling him, he'd gently push her away.


Omega has always been a rather stern man, a man that demands attention from the people around him. They surround him, never the other way around. Like planets caught in his orbit -- he is the center of his own personal solar system.  His long-time therapist has described him as having a significant fear of intimacy.  Emotional bonds are difficult for him, because they usually lead to severe disappointment.  For years he's sailed through life, confident and at peace with who he is.  A solitary man.   He is dominant first in all things. But sometimes he used his dominance as an excuse not allow people in.  

This has caused him some stormy relationships, led him to seek comfort in odd ways.  Sex was easy, BDSM easier, but allowing himself to let someone inside impossible.  He did once...he got hurt and decided it wasn't worth the pain.

A few months ago we went through some pretty big changes...huge ones. 

If it were possible for ice to surround his heart, he suddenly found it melting.  He found himself caring more than he thought possible.  He found himself becoming intimate with mouse in unexpected ways.   He found himself discovering his nurturing side.  The soft side, even with hardened edges of the sadist. 

One night, the sadist took mouse to bed and took her too far.  He pushed to hard and ignored his own mental protests to stop as well as her verbal ones.  He made mouse mute and hurt her badly.  What took him aback was that mouse didn't leave.  We didnt talk or discuss the incident.  We pretended it didn't happen. After that tho, he made a promise to never harm mouse in that way ever again. 

The following night, he took mouse slowly and she opened herself to him, and he was thunderstruck by the demonstrative nature of her love.  In that moment mouse crawled inside of him, just as shed dreamed doing.  He moved inside of mouse and the two people became one soul.  We talked about what had happened before, how it would not be repeated and why it happened.  Together we worked through it all and after renewed our commitment to each other.  

Together they shared hours of bliss and when sleep claimed them, the feelings hadn't diminished, but strengthened.  He started softening his edges and allowed mouse to see more of him.  He nurtured and listened to his mouse.  He began treating her differently not as pretty object he played with. But as his own delicate girl, who felt safe locked inside his embrace.  Together, they forged a different path.  

We have tried out many many names since those days. Omega is multipurpose, Sir, Master...but only one has come from the heart...

Daddy.

It fits who we are, who together we have grown to become and this is new territory for us both.  Daddy is still Master,  HOH, but also gentler with his mouse who is still his submissive slave.  




On the iPod:


Franklin's Tower

13 comments:

  1. Daddys are a good thing! So happy you are able to work through all that. Growth is never easy.

    hugs & kisses, licks & giggles

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  2. Beautiful ... just Beautiful

    *Hugs*
    Lil' Heaven

    ~Daddy Approved~

    P.S. My blog had to be taken down as we were exposed to our church. Feel free to contact me on yahoo for an email address.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love heals and sometimes that process does hurt, despite what *they* say.

    Hugs

    k

    ReplyDelete
  4. Just smiling and sending lots of *hugs*

    turiya

    ReplyDelete
  5. Many hugs, and smiles. I'm so happy for you both that you've reached such a beautiful state in your relationship.

    Alice

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  6. How wonderful that you were able to work such things out with such a happy result.
    In my life, the most sadistic man has been the most caring, tender empathetic man in the world.
    Sometimes I think those traits go hand in hand.

    ReplyDelete
  7. i like the song. and i love hearing about how you tow have moved with and into each other.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This post made me so happy! Well apart from the "mouse got hurt" bit of course -but it lead to something good in the end =)
    Both of you seem to be really fantastic people and I wish you nothing but greatness.

    A quick note to Omega; You have come a long way Sir (you both have), and it is really gratifying and inspiring to read about, You should be proud of Yourself (and Your sweet little mouse too of course =) )

    Hugs to you both!

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  9. Happy for both of you.
    Hugs,
    heather1

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  10. ...such a beautiful post on something that's so hard to discuss. we (slaves) talk about how we make ourselves vulnerable, but it's rarely considered how our Masters make Themselves vulnerable by showing us the darkest parts of Their souls.
    Best wishes to Y/you both.
    - kytten

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  11. Oh wow, mouse! I haven't been on the computer in a couple of days and suddenly I see that you are calling Omega "Daddy"! I had to come find the post where that happened! It's odd to hear that, after reading your blog for so long, yet also feels like a very natural progression. I can't help but be excited for you as you explore this new dimension more fully! (Really, I'm super excited, and I know I don't "know" you, but I feel like I do, so... I'm just happy right now! LOL) To me, it's such a... personal term. Was it hard to start calling him that in your blog?

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  12. To everyone who commented thanks a bunch! Thanks for being so understanding about it all.

    Little Butterfly (since you asked), yes it was hard calling him that in the blog. But as mouse continued to call him Daddy the more right it felt. It kinda started as a bit of a joke, one day mouse called him Daddy-O and it just kinda blossomed from there.

    Hugs,
    mouse

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